InsaneJournal

Nat had given Steve enough days to mop and be depressed on his own, between him, Tony and Clint, Nat needed to get them to focus on what was at hand. No matter how hard it would be to move past the dusting. It was something that needs to be done and it wasn’t going to be easy. Nat already came to Steve’s door with the notion that this wasn’t going to be easy, and probably have to knock sense into Rogers.

Nat was good at stuff like that, just ask Clint. Who was also dealing with his own breakdown? Nat didn’t have time to break down. Not when she was the only level-headed Avenger left, next to Thor, who was dealing with his own thing as well. So that left Nat, which she still didn’t understand how she suddenly became the level-headed one.

Once at his door, that firm knock was given. She knew he had left the moment the in the shelter was lifted. She gave him time. Time was up though.

***

With the exception of Thor tracking him down at the pizza place after Steve had left Tony’s, Steve hadn’t seen or spoken to anyone. Lewis had reached out on the net, but he had ignored it. There were only a few people who could force him to talk. He could count them on one hand. Thor’s girlfriend’s intern wasn’t one of them. Since getting over the hangover that only Asgardian alcohol could produce in him, Steve had locked himself in his apartment and ignored the world.

Vera Lynn blared out of the stereo in Steve’s apartment. The door across the hall opened and a woman with a baby on her hip stuck her head out. “He doesn’t come out,” she said to the redhead at her neighbor’s door. “Just plays that song over and over. It’s keeping my kids up so if you get in there break that record.” And with that, she slammed the door.

A moment after that Steve’s door opened to reveal the leader of the Avengers looking the worst he’s ever looked. He was unshaven. His hair was a mess. There were dark circles under his eyes and a glare on his face that was not normal for him. He looked at Nat, snorted then stepped back to hold the door open. “I’m surprised you even knocked.”

*
Nat had come to glance back at the woman across the hall from Rogers. But she was gone just as quickly. A shake of her head once Steve came into her view. “Trying the whole courtesy thing. Not a fan.” She admitted as she walked in. Hearing the music.

“Your neighbor says to play the music louder, her kids love it.” says as she looks around the apartment and soon to Rogers once more. “Well. You look like shit.” n
Nat never was one for sugar coating things. Especially with her teammates/family.

“Call Tony.” is all she said for the moment.

*

Steve grunted for being told how he looked. The comment about the neighbor was only answered by him closing the door. The instruction about Tony made him grimace as he didn’t quite trudge for the living room.

“If you’re expecting hospitality you’re going to be disappointed.” He retook a seat in the recliner next to the stereo. “What does Tony want.”

*
Nat shrugged. “Call him and find out.” Arms coming to cross over her chest for the moment as she came to stare at him a moment. “Hospitality? From you right now? Please, I just wanna to see the downgrade of your former self.” gives him a look over.

“I'm not a fan.” She added as she brushed her red hair from her face. Still, she exhaled for the moment. “So, how long are we riding this out for?” She asked about his mood.

*

“I don’t care.” The response was immediate and flat, but the warning look in Steve’s eyes was turned up to Natasha. Slouched in the recliner as he was he looked like less than a shadow of himself. All he needed was a can of cheap beer in his hand to complete the image of opposite day Captain America.

“How long?” He huffed. “I don’t care about that either.”

*
“Are we really going to do this?” Nat asked as she crossed her arms over her chest for the moment. She really wasn't into the whole self-loathing look from Steve and Tony. He'll even Clint. Call her cold but she gave them all the time.

Time was up and her first person to get back on track was Rogers. The remaining team needed him and Nat was going to make sure he remembered that.

*

Steve scowled deeply before his hand lifted to rub his fingers against his forehead as if he had a massive headache. Still. The truth was he was running out of patience already.

“Leave it alone, Romanoff…,” he warned in something just shy of a growl. He didn’t want to get into a fight. He didn’t have the energy for it. He had already exploded then broke down on Thor, he had no intention of doing that again one Avenger at a time.

*
“Sorry, Rogers. Can't do that.” she didn't make any moves. Nat wasn't looking to fight him. Not Steve they'd all been through too much. Especially lately now.

She finally took one step towards him as she exhaled deeply. “Time’s up, Steve.” is all she said as she came to exhale softly as she watched him. Her friend looks broken as ever.

*

Of course, she couldn’t. If Steve were being realistic with himself he’d have to admit that he knew she wouldn’t leave it alone. It had been a nice fantasy to think she’d take the reins from him and do what he didn’t want to do.

“For what.” It was just barely a question. His hand dropped to the arm of the chair as he turned an exasperated and tired look up at Natasha. It was almost a dare for her to tell him to stop feeling sorry for himself, get up off his ass and do what he was born to do.

*
Nat stared at him. “Do you really think Peggy and James would approve of the way you’re acting right now? No, from what I know of them and read they’d tell you to get off your ass and fight...So…” Leans forward to stare down at him.

“Get off your ass and fight, before I make you get off your ass. Either way is fine by me.” She said leaning back up as she kept her stance and stare at him. Nat loved her boys, but sometimes they needed a kick in the ass and Nat was the one to deliver it.

*
Throwing Peggy and Bucky at him sparked that anger inside him. Natasha got a hard glare from Steve. Somehow, without really moving, Steve managed to raise the tension in the room. “You’re gonna make me?” His brows lifted incredulously as he huffed. “And how exactly did you plan on doing that? Violence? Because that really sounds...ridiculous.”

*
Nat watched him. She knew she’d struck a nerve with the mention of Peggy and Bucky, but it was a nerve that had to be struck. “If I have too, yes.” She replied easily and with no hint of fear in her voice. Her arms stayed folded across her chest as she watched him closely. Until finally, one step was taken towards him. “But you’ll get up on your own, you know why? Because we have too. We have to keep fighting for those who are still here because we’re all this world has left. Because it’s what those who we’ve lost would do if the roles were reversed.:

--

Steve looked up at her. Resentment was in his boy scout blue eyes. He didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t want to be needed. He just wanted to be left alone. Unfortunately, Steve wasn’t so far gone that he didn’t know that what Natasha was saying was true. They had to do this. They had to make it right by the people who were gone and make certain that it doesn’t happen again.

He shook his head as he looked away. The silence stretched between them as Steve let himself get lost in his thoughts for a few moments. Just before it might seem like he wasn’t going to say anything at all he sighed.

“This is the last one,” he said in a quiet, defeated voice. “One more mission then I’m done.” His eyes turned toward Natasha without his head moving. “Last one.”

***
A heavy sigh escaped her as she nodded her head. “Last one.” She said as she thought for a moment. Emerald eyes coming to watch her longtime friend. “ For all of us.” They had sacrificed time and time again and with this fight coming up, it was literally all or nothing. Whoever made it, had earned the right to walk away at this point. She believed that.

“Call Tony.” Is all she added once more as she relaxed her arms and uncrossed them before moving towards the front door of his. “We’ll be waiting for you to give the go.” She said without glancing back at him.

--

Steve looked at her full on and for a very brief moment that broken part of him showed on his face and in his eyes. It was his way of acknowledging her understanding and thanking her for not pushing. He nodded then. He would call Tony, then put out the call. He just had to do this. Get through it. Then disappear.