InsaneJournal

Who: Tasertricks (Darcy/Loki)
What: after the texts, Loki returns home.
When: backdated! Aug 12th-ish
Rating: Green, language

When Loki came home, if he went to the kitchen first he would find a white box with a thin blue bow. It was addressed to him and inside would be the cake Darcy had baked him yesterday while arguing.

Darcy tossed and turned in their bed, Loki's cruel words still repeated in her head, no matter how much she tried to replace his words with the thought of his kisses and his touch. It wasn't long before she'd finally woken up in another cold sweat. Tears were on her face as she exhaled deeply. Her frame moving from the bed and into the bathroom, before sinking and relaxing in the pool/tub.

That time spent listening to his beloved Darcy over the phone - unable to see her or touch her - had lit a fire within him to return to her side with great haste. Of course, Loki being Loki, he had to make a grand entrance. Through the front doors of their home, head held high, striding in like he owned the place (technically it's one-third his anyway since he designed it), and he immediately made his way into the kitchen to get food and drink before he heads upstairs.

He stopped short when he spied the box with his name upon it, carefully opening it to look inside. When he saw the cake there was a split second of fondness in his expression, swiftly followed by the heavy weight of guilt pressing down upon him.

She wasn't aware that Loki had returned home, since he hadn't come into their room yet, not to mention she had her headset on while listening to music. She was sunken into the water, that she had filled with bubbles, her head resting on a pillow as she let herself get lost in the music. The songs she had shown Loki yesterday played from her playlist.

He loved the cake, absolutely, cake being one of his favorite things. Yet he was chewing and swallowing it down like it is made of Uru, just like Mjolnir, after what he put her through yesterday. Not even trying to trying to wash it down with precious coffee was helping...and oh, how he missed coffee, almost as much as his very much tormented Darcy.

It wasn't long before Darcy was out of the tub, and slipping on one of Loki's robes. Her wet hair being towel dried before she made her way down to the kitchen. Maybe she'd make breakfast again for everyone, and Loki would arrive and enj-- But her thoughts were suddenly cut short when she saw Loki. It was instant, the towel around her hair dropped to the floor as she came to leap into Loki's arms suddenly, as she kissed him. Tears coming down her face, because of how much she missed him.

Loki's mouth was open to say something along the lines of how beautiful she looked after so long away, but it was gone in the instant that their lips met and his arms went around her. He lifted her up off her feet while they kissed, pouring all of his love and longing into it. There was no sign of stopping any time soon, nor of him letting go first.

The audible moan was heard escaping her lips as she came to wrap her legs around his waist with her arms around his neck, her fingers digging into his hair. Before finally pulling away and looking into his green eyes. “Don't ever leave me again”

He had to catch his breath when he was looking at her and she said that to him. There was an impish smirk before he smoothly replied, "It isn't as though I could take you with me? Although I wanted to. Very much."

Loki reached up with one hand to trace his fingers over her cheek while gazing into her eyes, those incredible blue eyes. “I know not what to say. You baked me a cake. And you didn't write something crass upon it, after my recent behavior.....”

She came to shake her head as she cupped his face while he held her. “Loki... I love you. No matter what you say or do that's not gonna change and I'm not gonna say anything mean or hurtful to you when you get in one of your moods either. It's not gonna do any of us any good to have us both say fucked up shit to each other”

He suddenly lets her go. Not abruptly, almost with reluctance. “One of my moods?”

She's suddenly on her feet as she sighs deeply. “Loki..”

He thinks for a moment while looking aside, hands clasped and fingers fidgeting.

“You can not do that. There are times when I will need to hear you are angry, before I....I know not....snap out of it, perhaps? Darcy, if you do not, that anger will fester within you. And I know it must, at the very least, irritate you. It is all right to say so.

"Truly, it is. I say things when I am irritated all of the time. Consequences be damned. I love how forthright you were and are with me. How passionate you are in a debate, or an argument. And I do not want that to change.”

All she can do in that moment is stare at him

“In short....I find your tempestuous, crass, foul-mouthed, and overly opinionated self very enticing.”

She stared at him still, thinking for the moment. “You wanna know why I don't argue back, when you're being a complete asshole to me”

“Yes, I do.” Because a part of him lives for it.

“It's because I know you, whatever I say you'll just use it against me to hurt me. You won't snap out of it like you, think you will.” Darcy sighed, shaking her head as she walked off to their room.

“ ........” It seems like a dark cloud is hanging over his head for a moment, and he begins to shadow her footsteps the entire way upstairs to their room. “So, what? Now you're saying you'll simply bow down and disengage, whenever I have a mood?”

“I'm saying I know when to pick my battles with you Loki.”

“I love you for your fire and spirit, not because you are a mat to be trodden upon.”

“I'm not gonna argue with you when you're in a bitch mood, Loki.”

Loki blinked hard at that. “ ..................beg pardon?”

She looked at Loki. “Oh, I do hate repeating myself," saying the exact same words he told her yesterday when he said he wasn't coming home.

His jaw dropped open as though he is offended. ”I am not a bitch.”

“You're right. You're not.”

“Thank you.” Now he felt vindicated, nearly preening as a result.

“You're a bipolar asshole who doesn't know if he wants to love me or hate me.”

The near preen dissipates like the remains of fog under a midday sun, and he is left staring at her back while they're walking into their room. He promptly slams the door closed behind them.

Inside the room she grabbed at her cell phone. He wanted her to show she was angry? Here it is!

“I know not what bipolar is," he said. "I am not about to debate that I am an ass, for I am. But I take offense when you say I can not decide whether I love or hate you.”

She started reading his text messages to her from last night.

"Why do you hate me now..... “ She read his reply to her question, “Because you make that easy to do as well.” She glared at Loki. “I'm so easy for you to break….I'm weak.” Those were some of the things he told her.

“.............” Loki was silent and blinking profusely.

“Oh, oh and my favorite one, you'll come back to me after you've fucked an Aesir...I asked Thor what an Aesir is, it's what you are.”

By now he is wincing. “Technically it's more what an actual Asgardian is, but....”

"You hated me so fucking much in this fucking moment that being with me was so fucking horrible you'd rather fuck the people who hate you!”

Darcy threw her phone at him.

His entire face is scrunched up before the phone hits him, but he stands there perfectly still, not even catching it as it hits the floor.

“I ran every scene, read every text to try and figure out what the fuck I did to make you hate me in that moment. So tell me.”

She stood there holding the robe against her tightly. It's more visible to see how hurt she is, to see the dark lines under her eyes an the red in her eyes from crying.

He knows he said those things, he knows it, but it's all disjointed and almost like he didn't say them. He remembered doing it and so he knows it must be him and it is his fault. Loki was staring back at her, mulling it all over, like he's seeing her for the first time.

“I wish that I could give you an answer, but I can not. My temper got the better of me...or the worst of me....and it was inexcusable for me to be that cruel to you. All you have shown me was kindness.”

“But why?”

“Anger? Pent up aggression? I truly know not. Surely not at you, but you are closest to me so......”

“So I get the abuse.”

“.......” His mouth was open to protest but it snaps closed, as though it might be better not to protest at all. Instead, he mutely nods and looks away, visibly ashamed.

She moved up to him and shoved him suddenly. Shoved him repeatedly as she hit him.

Loki winced but was barely budged, letting her continue since he knew he deserved it.

She stopped.

Finally, hesitantly, he looked down at her face and his own expression was one of guilt.

Darcy sighed as she moved to sit on the bed.

“I love you, more than breathing. And that's fucking terrifying. I'm willing to take everything you give me. From your love to your hate.”

Loki was silent and watching her closely.

“Will you be happy, breaking me? The truth.”

He shakes his head and softly said, “No. But in the same vein, will you be happy knowing I can not be put back together? That this is what you must face? I said those things. Assuredly, they are mine, and I own them.”

She sighed, “I'm not trying to put you back together.”

He was jokingly sarcastic, but his voice is gentle at the same time, “That's good? It would be a supreme waste of time and effort.”

He sat down next to her, their arms barely touching as they're side by side.

“You're broken Loki. More than me, but you don't have to stay broken if you don't want too. Like Ragnarok destroys and creates... You have to recreate yourself and that's what I'm trying to help you with. I show you unconditional love. In spite of the aches. Because I really believe you can be more, than this.”

“Love yes, but not...Darcy, it made me more angry when you did that. I do not know why. It made me feel...and I can not explain this fully....more cruel and more twisted inside than I could fathom.”

Loki looked at her with the utmost fondness, so much so it was heart wrenching to think of the things he said, of what he would find on his phone if he dared read them again.

“I do not think I have a choice," he continued,"that I am broken or not. I do not know what drives such compulsions at times. It is not every time either. The only choice I have is to be resilient and continue clawing my way through whatever troubles befall me. In the meantime, I will do naught more than wear you out. As you are. Now.”

He knew she was tired already, even as he reached over to touch her damp hair.

”Is it because of Thanos?” she asked.

He had to struggle not to pause or show any outward signs of distress, all while feigning ignorance....which was fine, as he is a talented liar.

“Who?” he asked, looking young and innocent and naive.

“Don't gimme that shit.” Darcy stood and walked away from him.

He sat there on the bed, left staring at the spot where she had once been sitting.

“In case your dumbass forgot you told me someone named Thanos killed you.”

“Ah........yes, that.”

By this time, Darcy was rubbing the bridge between her nose, frustrated with Loki, but she moved to sit back beside him on the bed, her hand gently taking his, and the other under his chin, turning his face to look at her.

“Loki… Is this about him,” she asked again.

He didn't resist or pull away, keeping his expression neutral. At the very least, he could keep Thanos from touching her as much as possible, and lower the threat to her significantly if she didn't know what he had or what happened. The less she knew, the better. The more she knew, the more his headstrong little mortal was going to try to get involved. The one risk he wasn't willing to take.

"Of course not," he said, and everything about him seemed earnest and honest enough that even he believed it. "Although I can say, dying by his hand left a lasting impression."

He grinned sheepishly and pointed at his neck.

"Right here, actually. I'm fairly certain it left a mark. Not to mention? Several entities in that universe were likely a bit jealous that he had the satisfaction, and they did not."

Darcy watched him closely. Hearing just where Thanos had killed him, caused her heart to break. Fingers lowered to trace her thumb over his neck for the moment. A heavy sigh escaped her as she came to look up at him for the moment, her thumb still running over his neck.

“Who is he to you, Loki. Is he the purple figure I saw in my dreams?” She asked once more as she came to stare up at him once more.

He fought off the urge to tense up, along with that fight or flight urge to deflect her questions about that purple monstrosity. Leave it to him to fall in love with a Midgardian woman who was frail in comparison to himself, and happened to like purple so much. That was both a reminder of what transpired in the past, and yet it was still so very Darcy, that he was able to differentiate between the two.

He clasped her hand in his own, so she wasn't able to touch him there any more. Not that he didn't trust her, but the topic was discomforting.

"A known threat to Asgard and other realms. One of many. He simply doesn't....like negotiating."

That was a very light way of putting it. Thanos didn't negotiate. He tortured or he killed, or he used the threat of torture or killing to get his way. Or, at least, that's what Loki's experience was telling him. Somehow or other, seeing as how the details were murky, and he was convinced he sweet-talked his way into gaining an army and overthrowing Midgard. He almost smirked, as those thoughts still struck him as something truly delightful.

“Why the fuck are you smiling?” She asked, looking at him with a lifted brow as she tilted her head and stared up at him. Blue hues looking at his green ones for the moment. “Okay so..he’s a communist, got it. Lemme guess, strikes fear as a means of ruling?”

She kept that brow arched as she watched him for the moment. That smile and the topic should not go together.

Loki blinked a couple of times and stared back at Darcy, his expression carefully kept neutral once again.

"My apologies. I was thinking of something else," he apologized and drew in a deep breath as his mind raced for suitable answers. Ones that wouldn't give away too much detail. "I've no context for what a communist might be. But I suppose that would fit?"

Another sigh escaped her. “I promised Thor I'd watch toy story with him sometime tonight," she said as she came to look at him for the moment. “You should watch it with us. If you hadn't already.”

Yes, she was changing the subject but it was clear Thanos was a sore spot. So she'll ask others about him, instead and see what she could gather.

It was a very sore spot. So it was difficult not to look relieved she was dropping the subject. He managed it, the same as he had everything else. This made him feel like he had gotten away from the subject, and Darcy's ire over his statements from this week. Of course. Because he is a squiggly greased weasel, and adept at getting out of any trouble he gets into. Unless it's Thanos, and his grasp was inescapable.

"Pity. I was thinking of toying around with you, now that I'm here." He took hold of her hand, brushing a kiss over the top of her fingers. "Can't Thor take what is known as a...heh...rain cheque?"

Shed be lying if she said the kiss didn't make her weak in the knees. It had. “He could but…. He's awkward around me. Like he doesn't know how to act. And from the look he gave me, he didn't really know I moved in.”

She said making a slight face. “And since I don't like awkwardness figured we'd hang out so he can get used to me...plus… He's been in his room a lot. Like all week with the exception of sparing and me taking him shopping.”

Thor behaving that way was curious, since he was normally quite gregarious and social with his friends. That he was ensconced in his room was rather odd, and he hoped it wasn't due to moping. Moping didn't suit Thor, just like being gregarious didn't suit Loki.

Upon hearing what Darcy said, Loki looked contrite. His gaze was set off to one side and his lips parted to draw in a breath, which was surely meant to explain away some 'trivial' matter. It was the Trickster's uh oh face.

"I may have...umm, overlooked...and it's very unfortunate, really...telling anyone you were living with us again" After a brief pause he raised his eyebrows and added in a light and airy whisper, ".......ooops?"

Darcy made a face. Again it had to do with her. Her actions were stopping Loki from doing certain things.

“Next time tell people. I don't like being put in an awkward situation.” Which was rich considering who she was with.

“I hung out with a few people this week. And I printed the pictures you sent me and have them in a scrap book.” She smiled as she looked at him.

"...I do hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're likely in for several awkward situations," said someone she was now with. His expression softened a bit that she did something so thoughtful. At the same time, some bitter inner corner of himself felt as though it was scoffing at such sentiment, that it was trivial and useless, and a sign of weakness to be snuffed out.

Loki ignored it. He smiled at Darcy and looked profoundly grateful and greatly pleased by what she did with the photographs. He didn't think them that good, but he had tried to find the best spots to stand in, to give her the sense and scope of where he was.

"That's rather kind," he said with a smile. "Who was it that you visited with this week?"

Whatever battle Loki was dealing with inside, all she could do was try and shelter him with her love and if it came to it with her entire being. Already she moved to grab the book. It was titled Loki's adventures. She thought it was funny.

“I hung out with my replacement Peter. He was cool to hang with. Ran into Fury at S.I.. then went to have lunch with Jane and then hung out with Thor.” she thought a bit more. “I talked with Lady Griggs a bit also. Texted Tony,“ she said shrugging.

The very second he saw the book's title, a soft chuckle slipped past his smiling lips. All traces of any dark thoughts or inner turmoil seemed to disappear.

"This sounds akin to a children's tale that no one in their right mind wants their child to read," he joked, before he focused on her week and who she talked to. "I do hope that Lady Jane and Stark are doing well. As for the Peter you mentioned, I suppose that is the one who is not overly fond of my brother. I find him a hilarious free spirit, so I approve. On the other hand, I'm not fond of Nicolas Fury, I'm afraid. We got off on a bit of the...wrong foot, is it?"

“That’s an understatement,” Darcy said making a face a Loki. No one knew what she was doing. Except for Jane, and she made her swear not to tell anyone what she was working on. “The question is, do you plan on correcting it?” She asked with a raised brow for the moment.

Loki shrugged, as though he didn't have any plans on correcting it. At all.

Brunette hair brushed back as she came to cup his face and look at him, after putting the book down. She’d missed him, despite the shit he said to her recently. Her thumb ran over his lips as she smiled softly. “Come on…” She said pulling him towards the bathroom, before shutting the door behind her.