Who: Thor and Jane What: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times When: Backdated to last summer Rating: Green
Part 1:
The sunlight was especially bright today, Thor thought. Made even more so by the fact that he was trying to sleep and Jane never remembered to close the drapes, which was strange considering he didn't remember bringing her with him to Vanaheim, even though he had thought she would enjoy bathing in the bubbly pools. The fizz always made him sneeze but in a good way. Oh wait. Opening one eye warily, he scoped the scene. Midgard. Right. He remembered now. Instead of deciding to go back to Asgard after a peace treaty and raucous after-party (he always enjoyed visiting his compatriots on Vanaheim), he'd decided to go and see Jane, being that he was heavy with desire and lonely for her company. But when he'd gotten to her apartment, she wasn't there, so he'd fallen asleep on the couch waiting for her, and now he couldn't feel his legs. Strange. They were still there. He must have slept on them funny. Stretching lazily, he propped himself up on his elbows and called out. "Jane! Jane Foster! I have returned and my legs are no longer working. I require assistance and strong coffee."
There was a groan and then Jane's voice floated back from the bedroom. "Whyyyy are you yelling?" She rolled over in bed, calculating the odds that she'd be able to go back to sleep. Not great. She got up. Jane padded out to the living room in her sleep clothes: a pair of soft purple yoga pants and T-shirt with icons depicting the game Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock. Her hair was still mussed and matted in the back from sleep. Jane waved an arm vaguely at Thor, half in greeting, half to discourage more yelling. It had been a late night. An astronomer's work often happened at night and Jane had never beaten the night owl habits she'd acquired in college. She'd come home late to find Thor sacked out on her couch. It wasn't often he was out hard not to wake when she came and the thought of prying his bulk off the couch hadn't appealed so she'd left him there and gone to bed. Now she had a better view, Jane could see the way his long legs were scrunched up to fit. "That's what happens when you sleep on the couch in your armor," she told him. Jane stumbled on to the coffee maker, and mostly on autopilot, set it to brewing.
He looked down and noticed that he did, in fact have his armor on. "Very observant. This is why I enjoy your company, Jane. You tell me how things are." Thor paused. "Please note I am using the correct Midgardian expression. I have decided to take your advice and fully immerse myself in this culture and learn its idioms." Reaching down, he massaged his feet until the pins and needles left. When he finally felt like he could stand on his own, he did and rubbed vigorously at his face. Coffee. Yes. Undressing as he walked towards the kitchen, he allowed his armor and clothing to fall in a trail until he arrived in only his pants. Apparently he'd remembered to at least take his boots off last night.
With the coffeepot percolating, he thought he could sit down and wait patiently, or not. Actually there was no choice. He hated waiting. Instead, he walked right up to Jane, and leaned down, pulling her tightly against him in a hug. "You are so little. How you do not live in constant fear of pillaging and sacking is beyond me. Thank goodness I am here to protect you."
The smell of coffee was starting to revive Jane and the cloudiness was fading from her eyes. She watched him unbuckle his armor with an appreciative glance. It was almost normal to see a breast plate or Mjolnir lying around as the normal detritus of a lived-in apartment. "Really? Short jokes from the guy who couldn't stand a minute ago?" she groused. Still, Jane slipped her arms around Thor's waist and leaned into the embrace. He was always so warm and the sound of his voice was one of her favorite things, a low ruble like a soothing roll of thunder on a stormy afternoon. "I do fine protecting myself, thank you."
"Hmmmm" Thor buried his nose into her hair and inhaled deeply. The smells on Midgard were so different than anywhere else. And this Herbal Essences product was truly created by the gods. Jane's head was always a delightful bouquet of various flowers and almost irresistible. "Only because you cannot keep your eyes off of me. There is much to be said about having a strong mentor, and I am the strongest there is." And because he was obviously nursing a hangover, he asked pityingly, "Do you still have pop-tarts? I wish greatly for one, almost as much as I wish to tussle in bed with you." At that, his stomach grumbled. "But pop-tarts first."
"And modest," Jane added, eyebrows coming up at his last. "Really? Is that why you came all this way? For a pop tart and a tussle?" She pulled away, going over to retrieve the box of strawberry pastries from the pantry. Jane's eating habits were another college holdover and pop tarts were easy to snack on while she worked. She usually kept a box or two in the house. "Are you staying any longer than that?"
"Ye -- No. NO. A most emphatic no." Thor was pleased with his quick thinking and swift recovery. "And to answer your second question, you know I never know how long I will be here. Although my heart belongs with you, my time belongs to my people. I go where I am bidden." He happily opened a poptart and immediately took a large bite. Strawberry was one of his favourites. "Peace is not a constant in the nine realms. It is a delicate balance, one that I must navigate carefully if I am to be an effective ruler.". Another bite and his hands were empty so he took the second one too. "That being said. I have missed you," he admitted. "A man cannot live with his brethren alone. If I was able to be here for a week of your days...would you be free as well to attend me?"
"Don't say attend me. It sounds like I'm your maid." The coffee was nearly done and Jane pulled down a couple mugs. "I missed you too," she gently. "I still have some work to do. But I can try and keep it to a minimum," she offered. Thor was unpredictable and it was too hard to rearrange her schedule on short notice. "Or work on it at home on the laptop. I do have to give a lecture in a few days." Cups waiting on the counter, Jane walked back to Thor, wrapping an arm around his waist.
"A lecture?" Thor's curiousity was peaked. Pulling Jane snugly close to him, he grinned and leaned down for a kiss. "Mayhaps I should attend as a perfect specimen of astronomy, a human celestial body in the gravitational pull of the world's leading astrophysicist." And then he noticed the coffee. He wondered if he could grab the cup and drink without her noticing.
He was going to go for it.
"I think the cat's out of the bag about you. I'm speaking at the university as part of their Women is Science series. We can sneak you in the back or something if you want to go." Jane reached for coffee when Thor did, closing her eyes with the first sip. "Next time you wake me up, you're making coffee."
That seemed fair. He'd try to remember that.
Standing there in Jane's kitchen, one arm loosely wrapped around her with the other one busy with coffee, sunlight streaming in... It was easy to want this all the time. No more war parties, no more death and fighting, no more uncertainty...
This kind of life was addicting. And not for him unfortunately.
With a reluctant sigh, he pulled away a little. "And now that I have rehydrated, how about a shower? You know, I miss your indoor plumbing almost as much as I miss your touch." "I'd hope I beat the plumbing," Jane snorted. She stepped around Thor, moving from leaning against his side to standing in front of him. She reached up to stroke her fingers through his hair, running the little braid he had behind his ear between her thumb and forefinger. She turned her face up to look up at him. "You smell like a brewery."
"Hence the need for a shower," he repeated, leaning into her touch. "You would have been quite proud of the level of intoxication I achieved." It was more than he had before....which is probably how he ended up on Jane's couch in the first time. "Not only that, but I bested everyone at their war games." He grinned. "If you join me, I could probably show you a few of those with fewer bruises...or the same."
Jane laughed, slipping her hand behind his neck to pull him down to her level for a kiss. She was glad he was here. "Okay," she agreed once they pulled away. "I'm game if you are." ~*~*~*~*~*
Part 2
((2 days later))
It had actually been a few of the best days of Thor's life. No stress, no pressure, no ...nothing. Normally when he was on Midgard, he felt a need to call Stark, or speak with Banner, see what he could do to help with the continued safety of the planet, but this time ... no. Reality would hit him soon enough, and he'd already pushed the limits of his trip. He could almost feel Heimdall's disapproving gaze, reminding him of his duties, his ties to the crown. It wasn't easy to push that off, but he was trying. For Jane. Her speech went wonderfully, as he'd expected. She was brilliant, and he always felt a fierce pride when he listened to her talk. He may not understand the majority of what she talked about, but she did it with such a passion that it made him want more. This was Jane's battlefield and she was a victorious warrior. Later on, at dinner, he was quieter than usual but not because he was mad or upset. More that he felt contemplative. Of course, he always had a big smile for his fans, and happily posed for his fair share of selfies. It wouldn't do to annoy the very people he was ready to protect, after all. Finally, during dessert, he found a way to say what he'd been thinking all night. "You're too brilliant for this planet, you know that right? Why aren't you leading your country? Perhaps a battle of wits is required. You would best the brightest of them."
The lecture had gone well. She'd been getting a lot of offers about Women in STEM lectures or panels lately. Tonight's event was her favorite kind. Jane could discuss her research in front of a mostly female crowd. Too bad she didn't get more offers like it. Jane preferred that over the diversity panels where she was only expected to answer questions on her experience as a woman, as if that was the only thing she had to offer and not her work. With Thor off world so much these days, there were fewer Thor T-shirts than when he was actively Avenging. He'd still been recognized a few times today. Thor wasn't as recognizable in street clothes instead of his armor but there was no disguising the size of his frame or hair. Now Jane's business blazer was over the back of her chair and she was chasing the last bites of panna cotta with a spoon. It was nice to be out like this. Almost normal. She tried not to think it might be the last time for who knew how long. Another day or two and Thor would be gone. "I don't know about that. I don't want to lead a country. I just want to do my work."
"Sometimes both are one and the same," Thor responded idly. He'd finished his chocolate cake and was now drumming his fingers on the table.
"I might be leaving again soon. Not today," he rushed to add. "Or tomorrow. But soon. A few more days, at most." He gave her a crooked grin. "You'll get more work done without me around. I apologize for the impromptu Q&A at the end. I must always be available for my public."
"I could have handled it," Jane said, setting down her spoon. "I get questions about you a lot. I'm used to it."
"Well, of course you could. You are the foremost expert on me here." that was a given, really. He reached for his drink and stopped mid-air. "Really? A lot you say?"
Jane raised her eyebrows. "You know sometimes it's hard for me when people only want to talk to me about you?" That was true. Interest lessened the longer it was gone but never disappeared. Jane wanted to stand on her own but to the magazines and fans she was just Thor's girlfriend - even while Thor was gone months at a time. It was hard.
Thor gave her a strange look. "There were plenty of questions and interest at your talk tonight," he pointed out. "Are you saying it's hard emotionally? Jane, I know I'm often gone, but you're always in my heart."
"I know," Jane answered. And she did. She'd never doubted his feelings for even a minute. Plenty of people would love to have that kind of security. She paused, tilting her head back thoughtfully. "Why not take me with you? You said I'm too brilliant for this planet. I make all my own equipment, I can work from anywhere. Go back and forth when I need to."
"No!"
It was louder than he intended but the mere idea of bringing her to a warring place, where comforts like food and stability were a pipe dream... no. Absolutely not. Of course he'd toyed with the idea, but their recent situation with the dark elves proved to him that danger was lurking everywhere.
"As many problems as this realm has, it is still safer than putting you in armed combat. Are you so quick to face death again? I would have thought you more pragmatic than that."
Jane scowled into her plate. "You don't get to choose for me," she said between her teeth. She didn't want to have this fight. Hadn't planned on having this fight. That line about being too good for the planet got under skin. Some part of her had hoped, during the stretch of time Thor had stayed after the Convergence, that that was what her life would be. Worst part about it was that Jane understood. Thor was too good a man to walk away from his responsibilities for something he wanted only for himself. Didn't make it easier. She still felt caught between a nagging girlfriend and a long-suffering Penelope. At least Odysseus had eventually made his way home. She had no such guarantee. She huffed out a breath and looked up again. "How is anything I do pragmatic? There's nothing pragmatic about my entire life. There's nothing pragmatic about waiting, not being able to make a life because half of your life is somewhere else." She looked at him, trying to judge Thor's reaction before continuing. "You'd just have to convince your dad to let your dad me stay on Asgard. I could go back and forth to Earth from there."
"Do you think so low of me to assume I haven't looked all those options?" He was getting annoyed but not at her. More at the situation, and the fact that he'd lie awake many times, in different places, trying to figure out how to make this work. It wasn't really fair to Jane, and he'd known that unless something gave, there'd be an expiration date. Selfishly, part of him thought he could just stretch this out and that Jane would simply wait until either the realms were at peace or he could leave for longer periods of time. "But you know as well as I that humans are not allowed on Asgard. Our time moves differently than here, and it would not be fair to subject you to that." He cleared his throat. "My father would never give his blessing." He gave a short laugh. "Heimdall would never agree to frequent travel on the bifrost for a human. It just ... it's not possible, Jane." And how he wished it was though.
Jane looked down guiltily though not for long. "It's easier for you. You're not the one left behind." Maybe that was unfair. Jane knew what his life was. She could hardly fault Thor for terms she'd agreed to. She was caught in a long-distance relationship with only downsides and none of the things that made it work. It wasn't as if she and Thor could call or Skype when he was away and there was no end date to this separation. She was only a human and she'd be dead soon. Jane's life didn't matter at all, except to Thor. She shook her head. "How long do you think it'll be? When you. How long until you can come back?"
"I carry you with me everywhere I go," he said quietly, ignoring her question and looking off into the crowd. So many people, laughing, talking, no worries in the world. Did they know what was happening here? There was a pit in his stomach, and he unconsciously clenched his fist against the table, wishing there was a way he could solve this with his hands instead of his mind. How could he answer that question? It was the same question she'd always asked, and he'd always managed to just smile and distract her but there would be no distracting here. "I have no answers for you. I don't know if I ever will. My life is not my own. One day I'll be King, and the weight of the crown is heavy indeed. Can't we simply continue this way? I enjoy my time with you, I look forward to these sojourns. You have no idea how much I need you in my life."
Thor had been through so much. His mother, Loki. But still... "It can't just be only about you." She squeezed her eyes closed, trying to shut the world away so she could think. It was hard to pick her words when her heart was screaming how much she loved him. This conversation had been coming for a while and now it was here, she wished desperately to not be having it. "It's not easy being defined being defined by another person. Every time you do something with the Avengers, somebody tries to take my picture. I talk about my work and people ask about you. I could discover something amazing and still be identified as 'Thor's girlfriend' in the article. I know that's not your fault, you're doing what's right," she added. "I could probably learn to live with that if you were here but..." She shrugged a shoulder. "Maybe you do never come back. Or something happens to you and no one tells me. And even if you do manage to get away once or twice a year, how long do we have until I'm too old? And how am I supposed to make some kind of life for myself if I'm always waiting for you to come back?" Jane lost steam then and reached for her napkin, wringing it miserably between her hands.
Everything she said was true, that was what made all of this that much harder. He'd been selfish, he could see that now. How could he be worthy of her if he only thought of himself? No, he had to do something about this.
"I understand. And I apologize for having put you through this. It was callous of me, and unbecoming. You are amazing, Jane Foster, and I hold you in the highest esteem." Thor gave a quick nod; his mind was now made up. "As I have no acceptable response, there is no choice but to accept this dissolution. I wish to remain friends, but I understand if this is not possible."
Jane would probably never realize she'd never said the word breakup. She never needed to. A breakup was exactly what it was. What she would learn later was that someone at a neighboring table was livetweeting their conversation. #ThorDumped. The internet was blaming Jane and the tabloids weren't all kind. Those were things she'd learn later, when she went out for ice cream and found her own face staring back at her in the checkout aisle. Tonight her voice was tight as she promised to be friends. They'd gone back to her place in a heavy silence. Mjolnir and Thor's armor were still at Jane's apartment. And leaving from her balcony was more private than asking Heimdall to take away out on the street. Once, she'd run to Thor when he arrived in the blaze of Bifrost. Now she was about to watch him go for good. Jane tried to tell herself this was better. Now when he left she'd know he was never coming back.
Jane looked up at Thor, back in his chestplate and with the odd weapon that had accumulated around the place hanging off him. She swallowed hard, pressing her lips together, and moved forward. Jane wrapped her arms around his waist, letting her cheek rest against the armor. The familiar scent of leather flooded her nose, as well as the faintest tint of ion that occasionally came when the lightning was a little closer to Thor's skin than usual. Considering everything, she was grateful it wasn't raining. One last hug where she could hear the rumble of his voice like thunder on a rainy summer afternoon. "I'm sorry," she breathed. "I wasn't planning - I wish - wish it could have been different."
Thor tightened his arms and held her close. Everything was moving so fast, and it was blowing his mind. One minute they were enjoying a nice dinner, and now they were having a final embrace.
It was sudden and it made sense and it didn't make sense and he didn't know what he was thinking.
"As do I," he responded, inhaling deeply. Was this really the last time he have this opportunity? He could feel Heimdall's eyes on his back, waiting for the call but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. Clearing his throat, he allowed himself just a few more moments before finally sighing. "I must go now, Jane." Reluctantly, he pulled away and looked down at her. "If you should ever need me..." He trailed off. "I should go."
I know," Jane said, wiping her cheeks and surprised to find they were still dry. Good. Thor didn't need to see her cry. "Heimdall's always watching." She stepped away, making room for the Bifrost. Jane couldn't say anything. Her throat was sticking too much to say goodbye.