InsaneJournal

Who: Frigga, Darcy, Loki
What: a not at all awkward 'getting to know you' dinner with good ol' mom.
When: end of June, after Frigga's post.
Rating/Warning: Green, some language.

It was later that evening that Darcy, Loki, and Frigga were seated at a table in one of the best Italian restaurants in the city. Nothing less than best would do for either Darcy or his mother, so Loki had spent an exorbitant amount of money and copious amounts of smooth talking to ensure they had the best table, and someone else got bumped off the reservation list.

Maybe it helped that he visited in the guise of Tony Stark, and insisted his 'good friends' needed a table that evening. But no one else needed to know that minor detail.

Loki was seated by Darcy, sitting across from his mother, in a finely tailored black suit. He grinned at them both, not giving away his little secret about how they ended up somewhere so nice, and how he had enough money to pay for it, multiple times over.

Frigga knew hew son very well, and she knew how sly he could be. So long as no one got hurt she felt no need to step in and demand the truth of things. He was proud of himself for arranging this, and it wasn’t for himself. This gesture was for her and Darcy. Frigga approved. She smiled at the couple across from her.

All three of them made a striking sight. Frigga was in one of the new dresses Loki had bought for her. It was very elegant, very flowing...and very expensive. It was Midgargian style, but Frigga still felt as if she were back in the halls of Asgard.

“I have been researching the countries of origin of the foods I have been trying,” she said by way of starting a conversation. No need to dive right into unpleasant subjects. “Italy looks beautiful. I think I should like to see it someday.”

Darcy hadn’t ever been to someplace this fancy before. She’d tried on a lot of dresses, and most had to be put back because most showed off all of her cleavage. Loki wouldn’t mind, but she wasn’t wearing that in front of his mom. So she’d finally picked something nice and still wasn’t sure about this place. If it was up to her, they would be eating pizza at home. She knew that Loki wanted to make a big deal for his mom though.

“It’s really nice. I mean from what I’ve seen on the computer and television. And the food is way better than this. I mean I’m sure this place is nice, but I don’t think it probably compares to actual Italy. That’s true of every ethnicity we have.” And one day, she would get to travel and see all of them. Maybe she could go with his mom. That would be nice.

“How are you settling in?”

“It is always that way,” she said to Darcy. “Every culture on every world is the master of their own creations.” She smiled then her eyes slid to Loki. “Perhaps we all might visit.” There was a slight emphasis on the word all. It was a hint to her son that he had not escaped the conversation he was desperately trying to avoid.

“I think I am adjusting well, thank you.” Frigga turned her attention back to Darcy. “I have been watching the bustle in the city. Everyone is in such a hurry.”

Loki silently mouthed the word 'damn' when he thought his mother and Darcy weren't looking, as he was very much trying to avoid any talkings to that involved 'don't stab Thor.' He quickly covered it all up with a disarming smile.

"Of course we might visit. I rather like their art and architecture," Loki said, because everything seemed somehow more regal, and he did miss the large columns which graced Asgard's corridors. He too looked to Darcy for an explanation to something he never understood, but found fascinating nonetheless.

"This city is rather hectic," he openly teased in a voice as sweet as warm honey. "Always busy. Just as you are. I suppose one must, if they are to keep up pace with the Man of Iron."

“That would be nice. Once all of this stuff blows over, then we can go.” And she was going to remain as optimistic as she could, even though Darcy was sure they were all going to be dead sooner or later. She didn’t want to be a downer in the middle of dinner.

“Mm yeah, everywhere in Europe is a lot older than the stuff in America. We’re a baby by comparison.” Well unless you counted the fact that white people stole the land from Native Americans. Still. Trying not to be a downer.

Darcy just played with her menu, realizing she’d barely looked at it. “I think we just need to teach you how to use the subway.”

Frigga arched a brow at Darcy with a definite mom smile on her face. “If we waited for everything to...blow over...no one would ever visit anywhere. There will always be the next thing.” She could imagine the panic that belief would cause.

“I have been in the subway,” Frigga said. “I found the concept intriguing, a primitive version of the Bifrost.” She waited for the protest that would come from her son, but it was true nonetheless. These subways were high speed modes of transportation. Archaic by their standards but it was a beginning.

Loki stopped side eyeing Darcy like him using the subway would never happen and was then left staring aghast that his mother. Frigga, the Queen of Asgard, used the subway. A place that heathen minstrels used as a source of income, to play poorly tuned instruments for thrown coins. It seemed beneath her, and for another thing, it was beneath Darcy as well to even step foot in such a place. Stark gave her a car, after all.

"While I concede that we should all visit after immediate threats are dealt with? I am not riding the subway." He hmphed lightly and glared down at his own menu as if it had personally affronted him. "It is in no way akin to the Bifrost. It reeks of those imbibing overly much, which I only know because of Volstagg's over indulgences. Particularly with drinking. Disgusting tales that I'd rather not relay, much less ever think about again."

Because that dredged up memories of himself and Sif bidding them farewell at the river. And that wasn't dire either.

To change the subject as quickly as possible, he smoothly asked, "Does everyone know what they are ordering? Mother, you said you wished to try vodka sauce...did you not?"

Darcy completely ignored Loki and smiled at Frigga. “It’s not the best way to travel, but it helps when you don’t have a lot of money.” Then she turned and gave Loki a pointed look. Yeah. Sure it smelled and people were crazy, but it had charm. Though she was making a mental note of using it as a way to put space between them if she needed it. Since he wasn’t going to step foot on a subway.

“But thankfully, we can just use a plane to go to other countries. That’ll be nice. It’s not nearly as bad as the subway.” She really hoped so, anyway. “The vodka sauce is really good. It doesn’t have actual vodka in it though. Which was a shame. And I always recommend the more cheese the better.”

Loki got a bland smile from Frigga. She would go where she wanted, and even the dirtiest places in Asgard saw her or Odin from time to time to ensure their people’s safety. Loki would not sully himself in such places. She hopes Darcy could humble him a bit more.

Then the smile she exchanged with Loki was a knowing one. “I very much doubt Loki or I would need a vehicle to go where we wanted.” Together they might be able to open a portal.

Loki was used to certain creature comforts and finery. Humbling him was going to be a task of several lifetimes...as in, several karmically recycled Asgardian lifetimes. One was not enough.

That was why Loki looked nonplussed by that bland smile, as he was not about to step foot in such a place unless it was a last resort, and someone like Thor dragged him down there by the scruff of his neck, protesting all the while.

What he did not protest in the least, was the prospect of opening a portal with the person who taught him everything he knew. That was why the smile he gave in return was full of impish intent. Doing so would be an easy task, less strenuous to the both of them and made easier, since Midgard was a crossroad of Yggdrasil. There were many ley lines to use.

"Hm. I do believe such arrangements can be made," he said, before turning his attention down to the menu. "A pity there is no vodka in the sauce. In which case, I am going to have the carbonara." He cast a sidelong glance over at Darcy while adding, "With extra cheese. As recommended."

All Darcy could hope for was them not opening up portals in front of large groups of people. Though maybe subtlety had gone right out the window these days. She didn’t know, but she didn’t want to be the one cleaning it up. Because knowing her and her job, she would very much be the one explaining to the press why aliens were just doing whatever they wanted.

For now though, Darcy just nodded her head and ordered her food. And another glass of wine. Yeah she needed it to get through the rest of this evening without saying something sarcastic. This whole trying to be nice and polite thing was awful. And Frigga was actually really nice and wonderful and she didn’t want to be the one souring the mood.

“Any time you want to go shopping, just let me know.”

"What a wonderful idea," replied Loki, after their orders were taken and they were plied with more wine. He was attempting to be on his best behavior, using any pleasantness to make sure that he didn't get a motherly talking to a wide variety of topics he was dead set on avoiding. "You really should go shopping together. I will provide the funds necessary to do so."

It seemed like an excellent opportunity to take care of other matters while they were both preoccupied, of course.

Frigga let Loki fall into a comfortable position, mostly because she didn’t wish to embarrass him...too much...in front of his lady. She had taught her boys to have dignity. That did not include tearing it away from them. However, she was...still..his mother.

“So you and your brother are still not getting along.” More statement than question, but she lifted a brow at Loki. She would tolerate none of that nonsense here. Loki had gotten into enough trouble in Midgard in the past, but Thor had a tendency to push Loki’s buttons. Her sons. She loved them both.

"Not precisely? We were making amends. Recent actions might have slightly soured his opinion," Loki hedged, drawing in a breath and glancing over at Darcy as he thought it over. In truth, he couldn't recall when Thor was truly in the wrong, as his brother was much improved since his banishment to Midgard. If anything, Loki knew that he was the one in the wrong and he loathed to admit it. That was why he left it with a rather vague, "We are better than we once were, before things went horribly awry. If we ridicule one another, it is mostly done in jest. Or I do so more unto him, should I be feeling churlish. I have not yet put a blade into him, if that is what you are wondering?"

Not yet, at least. He last recalled giving Thor a loving but harmless stab before they fought the Dark Elves in an attempt to destroy The Aether. That was the last time he physically did so, although Loki deemed it a show of brotherly affection.

There was the attempted act of backstabbing on Sakaar, at which Thor bested him and then left him behind. This gave him ample time to think over certain family matters.

"I think you would be pleased. Thor offered me surprisingly wise council during our final hour on Sakaar," Loki thoughtfully added, before he gave a wry smile at an unspoken joke. "The conclusions I came to were rather shocking, to say the least. Darcy knows all about offering shocking conclusions. Do you not, beloved?"

After all, she had tazed him after he lied to her about their 'date' and that's why they didn't go on dates anymore.

Oh here they went. Talking about Thor. “Loki is still making Thor facepalm a lot. But Thor’s grumpy as usual so..” she shrugged a little, adding that only to the conversation. At least they hadn’t stabbed each other. That was true. She was glad that they had been getting along. Up until she and Loki had lied to him about everything.

“Uh you mean the whole lying to everyone thing? Cause yeah. We did a bit of that.” She shrugged. “But if you’re talking about tazing everyone.. Well then yeah, I mean a girl has to learn how to defend herself from jerks.” She gave him a pointed look.

Oh yes, Darcy caught on to that jest. It seemed to be a theme with those he loved, where they took him by surprise and taught him lessons with electrical therapy. In contrast to her pointed look, Loki gave Darcy the sort of smile that was a little too charming. So charming, it could push many an envelope.

Frigga quietly listened to the back and forth, and observed how Darcy and Loki were with each other. She was pleased. They seemed happy with each other. Darcy was a strong enough personality to keep her son focused on something other than causing trouble. They were good for each other. However, she did note Darcy’s opinion of Thor.

“Ever will you boys bicker. It is the way of brothers.” Odin and his brothers had been worse. Frigga didn’t feel that should be admitted openly. “But know this.” Frigga gave Loki her stern Mom Look...which to anyone else still seemed patient and caring...and pointed at him. “Your father indulged this rift between you and Thor, but your father is not here. I am. And I will not tolerate childishness or baiting each other. Do not force my hand.”

Yes, Frigga did an Asgardian version of Don’t make me come in there.

Granted, any grumpiness on Thor's part was due to Loki's actions. Speaking of the devil, Loki's mouth opened as though he was about to point out that Odin often left it to her to smooth their ruffled feathers. This was the same speech they heard for the past thousand years and he was actually glad to hear it again.

"Baiting?" he asked, his tone light and airy and his expression sheer innocence. "Oh, but I wouldn't ever dare dream of doing such a thing."

And yet his mind could all too easily come up with a long list of every time he baited Thor. So long that it would rival the list that the Midgardian's mythical Santa Claus would have in his possession on the eve of gift giving.

Darcy had maybe been about to say something that would change the subject, but then Frigga basically called Loki out and her eyebrows went up. She was thisclose to leaning over and going oooh shit, you in troooooooouble. But she didn’t. She had some modicum of control over her words, even if it didn’t always seem like it.

“Okay sarcasm King, can you not sass your mom while we’re at dinner.” She was suddenly glad that she was an only child.

Loki did that little shoulder shimmy as his gaze shifted off to one side, that made him look like a regal little diva. It was the same gesture that he did while disguised as Odin, when Thor mentioned that the statue looked a little less weasily and greasy than the counterpart. There was a tiny bit of preening too. At least he was the king of something, even if it was sarcasm.

"Oh but I beg to differ, beloved. It is hardly...sassing, is it? I absolutely am not. I'll have you know that I was a model son," he insisted, looking a little amused as he looked over at Darcy. "Until circumstances went beyond my control. Then I truly began baiting Thor with earnest, at every available opportunity."

Still looking at Darcy, Loki made a face as though he sucked on a rotten lemon. He had a habit of letting down his guard around Darcy and forgot himself for a gleeful moment there. He was going to be in troooooooouble for blurting that out.

"...oh shit," he said under his breath, before tentatively peeking over at his mother. Just as their food arrived, too.

Frigga almost coughed on her wine when Loki claimed to have been a model son. Neither he nor Thor could claim that. They were both monstrous handfuls. Adorable handfuls, but they certainly had kept Frigga on her toes. There had been nights when she’d gotten precious little sleep for their antics.

Well. This was new. She had never seen Loki caught out or slip up like that. Darcy must be better for him than Frigga had originally thought. This was magnificent! Frigga gave Loki a very knowing Mom smile. If he thought she hadn’t known that before he had deluded himself.

“Language, my son,” she said mildly. “There is never a reason for vulgarity.” And that was all she would say on that matter.

It was a good thing that the Queen was nowhere near the battlefields that Thor and Loki were on, since there was all sorts of colorful language being bandied about. This being a meal, Loki was left wide-eyed and blinky.

"Of course. My apologies," he said, before murmuring under his breath over to Darcy, "This is clearly your fault. Stop being disarming."

He began eating primly and properly, like a good little prince would when they spent several hundred years watching Volstagg inhale food like a ravenous neanderthal. Eww.

“Hey, you’re not blaming me for any of your attitude. You had that a long time before I came into the picture.” Then she turned to look at Frigga. “I’m going to apologize right up front because my potty mouth is way worse than his. Like infinity times worse. So .. sorry. I can try to control it, but I’m not very good at curbing my tongue.” Especially when she was using the word fuck.

She was wondering if Frigga had ever said the f-word at all. Somehow she kind of doubted it. But it would be neat to hear.

Once the food was there, Darcy started to eat and tried to ignore all the other stuff.

Loki was ready to protest before Darcy continued speaking. He quickly bowed his head to focus on his meal, sneaking peeks up at his mother, lips pressed together so he wouldn't wince or smirk. He was a little horrified about what mother might say, hoping she wouldn't be too angry. Twenty percent horrified, perhaps. The other eighty percent was actually elated that Darcy all too truthfully insisted on standing up for herself, no matter who she spoke to. There was never anything secretive or covert about it.

He only wished it had been directed at Odin instead. It seemed a better way to thumb his nose at a father figure, by having a stubborn and rebellious unfortunately mortal girlfriend. One that would immediately drop the F word at being called a goat.

Of course, that scenario would likely result in having to free Darcy from the dungeons? But Loki wasn't phased by the thought. Been there, done that.

"...this is delightful," Loki cheerfully announced, raising a glass to take a sedate sip of wine. It wasn't clear if he was talking about the meal, or about Darcy's infinity times worse potty mouth. Perhaps both.

Frigga watched their back and forth with a fond smile. She kept it to herself, however, hidden behind bites of her food...which was quite good! She liked this Italian food. They must definitely visit Italy one day.

“My sensibilities are not easily bruised, my dear,” she replied to Darcy. “It is simply that I tried to instill a sense of regality in my sons. Alas,” Darcy got a quick wink. “They have both proven too fucking stubborn.” That should answer Darcy’s inner question and stun Loki into silence.

Not quite so silent. Loki's eyes bugged when he coughed a second sip of wine back into the glass. There were other matters he wanted to talk to his mother about, but perhaps another time. A later time when his stubbornness wasn't being brought up in terms that Darcy would very much appreciate.

"Another glass of wine if you'd please?" Loki joked to a waiter as they passed by their table. "I'm afraid the grapes went a bit sour."