Who: Valkyrie and Loki What: cleaning & the Battle for the Couch, prior to these texts. Where: current Asgardian Embassy (2 bedroom upscale apartment) Rating: Green
Things were looking much more neat and tidy, except for the matter of picking things up in the living area. And that was why Loki was standing next to the couch, contemplating the best way to clean around Valkyrie, without disturbing her ongoing moment with the you tube and many, many bottles which ranged in varying degrees of half-drank or drained dry.
If she punched him in the face again, it would hurt very much for a small while and he'd wake up with a headache that would go away a small while later. No harm, no foul.
He wanted to pick up a bottle and throw it at her like she had to him, but then that would make a mess that she wasn't ever going to clean up. And there was a party to think of and illusions on others to cast. Tapping her on the shoulder didn't seem like an option either. If startled, she might break his fingers. Again, there was a party and spellwork to think of. Mending bones would be a hindrance, setting him back at least half a day that he didn't have to spare.
With that in mind, Loki retreated to the kitchen and came out with a broom, which he used to gently poke her on the shoulder with.
Valkyrie had recently discovered the magic of Youtube and its variety of Midgardian music, which she had made a point of getting better acquainted with - now that scaling statues had sort-of lost its shine. She had tried to start by decade, then realized a lot of Midgardian music hadn’t been recorded, then shortened the search to how old she thought the oldest of the network people were - which she failed to gauge by miles, not really knowing how old Midgardians got - and then went at random.
So far, Val could tell she liked several different kinds of music. And right now, with beer in hand, she was smacking her other hand against the couch while lying on it with legs crossed and boots on. Her eyes were closed, and she was completely in the zone. When the poke came, Val startled, sitting up rapidly and looking behind her shoulder with the bottle ready to act as a weapon. It was only Loki, so she lowered the leaking bottle.
“Can I help you?”
Now the bottle was leaking. He sighed as though put out, but imagined that the entire place was going to reek like a feasting hall after a one week celebration of battle. Not wanting to have another bottle lobbed at him, he tried to ignore the dribbles of alcohol all over and instead concentrated on Val's face.
"No, not really. I shall be cleaning around you for the revelries this week's end," he said, holding the broom in one hand as though holding an ornate staff. "I am merely letting you know prior, for it will apparently be quite noisy. I would hate if you were somehow inconvenienced."
He smiled, a little too sweetly.
When Loki revealed what he was about to do Valkyrie knit her brow, as if the idea of a powerful being like a prince, a lord, an emperor or a king who cleaned anything at all was alien to her - and it was. The Grandmaster had thousands of cleaners, as did every powerful man she had ever met. It was funny to see Loki holding a broom, but in a way, impressive. Once she realized that the bottle in her hand had only contributed to the work, Valkyrie turned it right side up and smiled apologetically.
Then, she laughed. “No you wouldn’t, quit the bullshit. But go ahead, I can handle noise.”
Shaking the empty bottle, she put it down next to the others and sat up with her legs out towards the floor. Valkyrie gathered the bottles all around her as if to help Loki, then asked, without looking at him: “There any way to dispose of all this garbage?”
Loki considered it a travesty that he had to clean at all, but if he couldn't stop mocking every single maid that applied for work due to the fact that he could tell they were lying and were likely going to steal everything they owned. If he could find one that was suitable, then he wouldn't be in this position. Thor seemed to think they were capable of doing this cleaning for themselves, and that they did not need larger accommodations than a two bedroom apartment for four people, considering that Darcy wished to stay there as well. To him, that meant that everyone was going to live in splendor and not in squalor. Of this, he was most determined to see done.
That was why Loki's smile looked a little more genuine when Val tipped the bottle in the less messy direction.
"Far be it for me to bull shit anyone," was his unfettered reply, and he began to move into the kitchen to put the broom away. "As for where to put them, you may use a sack of the flimsy material known as plastic. I'm not inclined to magic them away, as you wallowed in the mess you made while idly listening to you tube."
There were likely some beggars in the city who would be happy to drink the few sips left out of those bottles, but Loki wasn't feeling charitable. He already had a pan shaped like a taco that he had to replace.
Valkyrie snorted at Loki’s refusal to admit he was the king of ‘bullshitting’, the god of it rather. And she didn’t comment on his little quip about ‘idly listening to youtube’ but eyed him like he had said something ridiculous, because it was. What else was she supposed to be doing?
When he mentioned the plastic bags Val sighed, slapped her thighs and stood to her feet, hopping over the wall of bottles to walk to the kitchen and fail to find them there. She then went to a place called ‘the pantry’, which was a storage for kitchen and cleaning materials and finally found them there.
She came back out with two bags dangling over her shoulder, hopped back over to the sofa and sat down. Nodding her head to the music, she proceeded to shove the bottles into the bag. They clanged and clinked, breaking when she shoved them harder and they hit each other, but who cared?
“So, excited for the party this week’s end?” Val had not known what a weekend was before Thor had had the idea, and the concept still eluded her a bit. But the jist of it was that people rested or had parties on such days. And that was good enough for her.
Oh, what else could they be doing other than thinking on how they would earn their keep, perhaps? They might be worried about who was paying the rent currently, but Loki had high standards of comfort and self-indulgence. They would run through the meager funds that the Man of Iron gave them sooner than later, and then he would be buying their food and drink before he knew it. It was a level of responsibility that came with his greatness, he supposed.
But he'd be damned if he was going to pawn off more solid gold ancient trinkets from his interdimensional lockbox. He had his own problems to deal with.
"I can not say I am looking forward to it," he lied. That was total bull shit and he knew it. He loved parties. The only reason he lied was because he was rolling out a cleaner to suck up all of the dirt and bottle caps around his once prized leather couch. "Though Thor is, very much. Perhaps we all need such revelries to keep our minds off less pleasant matters."
“Oh I know you love a party as much as the rest of us. Don’t forget I was there while you were schmoozing around with the Grandmaster, going on trips on his party ship…” She gave him a look, one eyebrow raised on the same side as the corner of her lips was. She wasn’t a guest, but she knew what went on in that ship. Oh, she knew.
Standing up, Val went to place the tied up bags in the area that had been designed for garbage disposal, vowing to take them out later. As she walked back to Loki she stopped and poked him in the chest. “And you need it as much as the rest of us, it’s true. I’ve yet to be at the same party as you, since I was working or asleep while you were partying on Sakaar, I’m curious. Can you truly let go?”
Never underestimate the ability of Loki to bullshit his way in and out of anything, including some of the really sordid things that happened on that party ship. He wished he could say it was educational, but some of what he had seen was enough to drive him to drink to forget about it. And while there were some things he indulged in, contrary to what others thought, Loki did things to a limit but went no further. He wasn't a touchie feelie type, and was a master of playing hard to get. And if others mistrusted him then he did so in equal measure. He only accepted Thor's back-pats and scruff-of-the-neck grapple holds because of a lifetime of the belief that they were brothers. They still were, when all was said and done.
So as far as he was concerned, what happened on Sakaar stayed on Sakaar. It was one big backstabbing party there, and he had taken advantage to stab his way to the top of the heap and live a life of luxury.
That was why he lowered his gaze to look down at her poking finger, with the ever so slight raise of one eyebrow.
"Do you speak of work such as when you were subjugating potential slaves from the garbage pits? Or sleeping after copious amounts of drink to forget where you came from?" He very sedately placed a hand against hers and gently pushed it aside, away from his chest. "The last time I truly let go, it was on this city. Although it is expected? I am trying to refrain."
There was an impish smile on his face, his eyes bright, as if this was all meant in fun. What wasn't fun was that he pressed the button that said 'on' and started rolling, but the machine was making no noise. Oh, right. It had to be charged much like the computer that was meant for laps.
Head held high, like he knew that all along thankyouverymuch, he located the plug part of the cord and began pulling it out from the cleaner so he could plug it in. Midgard was so hopelessly primitive.
“Yes!” Valkyrie replied, no qualms about where she came from or what terrible things she had done in the past. It was a dark time, prone to dark deeds. That was behind her now, and she had earned a little bit of redemption. She smiled up at Loki. “And yes.”
Valkyrie frowned a little at his response, however. That wasn’t the letting go she meant or recommended. “Oh, when you tried to enslave the entire Migardian race because you just had to be king of someplace?”
She still hadn’t pulled herself away from being awkwardly close to Loki, which she knew probably miffed him to bits because ‘personal space’ and all that crap. When he pressed the button but nothing happened, Val looked down, pouted, then back up at his face. “Don’t worry, this happens to everyone sometimes!”
That Loki had been the one to walk off first made Val very happy indeed, and she stood there watching him plug in the garbage sucking machine with her hands in her hips. He needed to relax, this one. The faster the better. Valkyrie knew someone weighted by the past and tense as an elastic band about to snap when she saw them. She’d been one of those.
It takes one to know one, definitely. After he succeeded in plugging it in, Loki casually strolled back toward the machine and the Valkyrie, while moving his head to flick his hair back over his shoulders. When he came to a standstill, his head was still tilted up and slightly to one side to look down at her in such a way, that it was like pure defiance carefully wrapped in the softest velvet.
A sharp smile suddenly looked as though it had sliced through the lower half of his face as he hit the power button. The machine roared to all of it's floor sucking life, and Loki started to guide it toward Val's feet.
Someone obviously wasn't going to explain any reasons - particularly being lied to his face for over a thousand years by the only father he had ever known - nor was he going to dignify her attempts to bait him with a response that he didn't feel compelled to give. As he was often prone to saying when he was feeling particularly petulant, he wasn't 'inclined to do so.'
Val kept her gaze leveled with his, never faltering. She had stared down worse, and taller. He really didn’t scare her, though he did frustrate her; but if someone chose to live permanently bitter, offended and tightly wound who was she - of all people - to judge? Much less to try and break them out of that habit. She hadn’t the spirit for that kind of thing. There was a choice to be made, and she had made hers, then thought better of it and made another. If Loki was going to do the same it wasn’t going to be at her request.
Her smile perfectly matched his, and she stepped out of the way of the vacuum time and time again without looking at the machine or her own feet. Very soon she was hearing the beat of the music over the vacuum and dancing to it over Loki’s cleaning, childlike laughter chirping out of her. Soon after her arms were up as well. She was going to be in a good mood whether he liked her to or not. With that in mind Val looked at Loki and winked before disengaging from his machine to go dance around the apartment more freely - and raise the volume on the song in the process.
Loki's way of unwinding was to cause trouble. Even a subtle jab made his heart sing with joy. It did seem to work that way either on Asgard or on Earth, because it's always the quiet ones.
At the very least, he figured he had helped her out, even if it wasn't a trip through the paths of her memories she wouldn't have chosen to take on her own. At least she was free now, and that was why he started a demented dance with her, using the vacuum as a prop, and managed to get the entire room done while she kept moving.
Menial task complete, he shut off the machine and put it away, before he suddenly appeared out of nowhere next to the couch. With a contented smile, he sprawled across it entirely, pulling an old book out of thin air and opening it to where he last left off.
While unexpected, Val enjoyed every second of that dance with both the vacuum and Loki. She continued laughing, and dancing, and unbelievably having fun with the likes of Loki.
Even after the machine was shut off, Val continued as the playlist went on. However, when Loki took advantage of her absence to steal the couch, and make a huge show of it - because of course he did - Val stopped. “Oh no you don’t!” She ran towards the couch the same way she ran towards the Big Guy and vaulted over it, landing with her backside on Loki’s legs, and her own legs up in the air. She grinned at Loki, putting her arms under her neck pretending to get comfortable. “What are you reading there?”
The most reaction he was willing to give, was Loki closing his eyes in what resembled a wince and a sudden exhale as the back of her head met his lower stomach. Then he sighed as though utterly put out, because another living creature decided to touch his royal self. Even so, he was stubbornly refusing to move.
Not. One. Bit. He's not budging. In fact, he shifted his shoulders a few times like he was nuzzling in for a long stay.
A very serene looking Loki turned a page with a fingertip, continuing to read, as though he wasn't put out in the slightest.
"I am reading about various herbs and minerals, and their equivalent counterparts, on each realm. In other words, that which would certainly bore you to tears." After a pause, he added, "They do have the 'Tear of a Valkyrie' listed. Exceptionally rare, with no known equivalent. Care to spare one or two?"
Valkyrie chuckled to herself when Loki sighed, but was taken aback by not being promptly pushed to the floor. She stopped moving when he seemed to nuzzle in, and although she didn’t move she wanted to see the look on his face. After a moment, Valkyrie lowered her legs off to the side to rest against the backrest of the couch and sighed, herself seeming to buckle in for a long stay.
“For your magic, or just for knowledge?” She asked, bypassing the urge to mention he had no idea what she found or didn’t find boring. The ‘Tear of a Valkyrie’ name did peak her interest and Val raised her head a little. But of course there came the biting remark, which Val only laughed at. “I ran out, sorry my liege.”
His face had been covered up by the book, but he lay it down on his chest so he could look down at her with half-opened eyes.
"I confess, it is equal measures of both," he said, like each word was something to be savored. "That is a pity. It would have been very useful, for...what is that quaint phrase? Oh, yes. To keep for a rainy day."
He smiled and it resembled an overindulgent lap cat. He raised the book back up and went back to reading. In the hopes of lulling her a bit, he began to murmur softly while doing so.
"Volcanic Ash from Muspelheim. Useful for magical inks and various spells of binding. Less potent equivalents found in Svartalfheim and even lesser in Midgard. Hm." He turned the page after skimming over the rest of the uses for volcanic ash. "Poor, poor Midgard. Weak in so many ways, and yet so many wonderful choices for breaking one's fast every morn. I should add in the Charms of Luck. They truly are magically delicious."
“Oh yeah? What’s the use for it?” Asked Valkyrie, at the same time thinking that she had cried all that she could cry, most likely. And it had been a good few hundred years...and then more. But nobody needed to know that.
Another thing nobody needed to know was that Val was enjoying the humming, and, if she forgot who it was with, the closeness too. Plus it was different to be listening to someone recite the properties of various stones and rocks. Val didn’t think she’d ever done that.
“I’m pleased something here is agreeable to you. Are those the breakfast cereals they have? I’ve been seeing advertisements for them on the screens. I haven’t had any, though.” Food wasn’t much her thing. “Alright so what would you use magical ink for? And what is a binding spell really? No one tells you these things when you train night and day in swordfighting.”
Pity, those tears were as powerful as they were rare, though he didn't exactly want to give her cause to shed them. The reason was that - for as much as he seemed he didn't care about the suffering of others - she knew what it was like to lose everything, and somehow managed to survive it, the same as he had. Even if they had vastly different and incredibly poor coping mechanisms, between then and now.
"I know. How surprising, considering I meant to rule this realm. I might have made the massive mistake of wiping them out without enjoying their cereals first. You should try it. It is quite good."
Another page was turned, and he continued speaking in the same soft velvety voice that he had used while reading. He patiently explained everything the same way Frigga had explained it all to him, long ago, when he was younger and much less to think about, beyond magic and harmless pranks (by Asgardian standards, of course).
"The tears can be used as a powerful protectant, a shielding spell not meant for one individual, but for a great many," he explained, though he did not elaborate. "Magical ink can be used to write such things as runes and sigils of binding against potential foes, preventing them from taking certain actions against yourself or others of your choosing. Bindings are more complicated, requiring many ingredients, some of them from the person you mean to bind. In more desperate times, blood may suffice, though that is meant more for warding one's self against imminent threats than it is for binding."
He knew this from recent experience. After Thor had arrived and called off the sorcerer known as Strange, and after their meeting with the Man of Iron, Loki had to remove all of the wards from the trim around each door and window. This was why he much prefered illusions and conjuring. Those were two things he could with only a thought and the will to make it manifest, and without the need for supplies. That was going to change quickly, because there was more than one task which needed to be done, and all of those required certain items.
“I should try it? You’re not planning on enslaving Midgard again, are you? Because if so, we need to loot the shops where those cereal are sold. And other foods. We should make a list!” Val said it all as a joke, and she really hoped it was a joke - or something they could joke about. He had started it, after all.
Val stayed quiet for a while after Loki explained what ‘tears of a Valkyrie’ were used for. She smiled, wistfully though the smile was. While there was no response, Val couldn’t help but feel like the use was fitting, given the role she’d had as a Valkyrie; or the one she would have liked to have. After all fighting the King’s own mistake of a daughter wasn’t really in line with whatever else they tended to do. Or could have done, if Hela hadn’t wiped them all out. Loki moved onto ink and so did she, drawing a deep breath to push the thoughts away.
“Hm. Makes sense. We’ll need to ward off bothered neighbors during our party, think that can be done?” She gave a little laugh. “But what’s binding someone to you? Or someone to something? What does that mean, in practical terms? Trapping someone somewhere? Or an item to you so that it may never be stolen or lost?”
"I highly recommend the Charms of Luck, but let us do so without enslavement of others on either of our parts. Though difficult, I will endeavor to refrain," he murmured, still engrossed in his book. Behind that book, there was a twist to his lips, with one side quirked up a little higher than the other. That was all.
He really did need a tear of a one of the Valkyries, but he was unable to ask, and he was also going to be unable to get one. Whether shed from laughter or sadness didn't matter, so the wheels were turning in his head as he tried to think of a weaker equivalent or some other way to do what needed done. Oh, and also how to get her off him, because he wasn't for lounging on. Not even by their impromptu shield-sister.
"Warding off bothered neighbors? None will be bothered. And should any of you drunkenly yell out my name in the midst of festivities, they will hear another name entirely."
He turned the page of the book and continued reading and speaking between each ingredient.
"Binding can be many things. It is for preventing another from doing something untoward or harmful. It can bind an item, so that only the person it is bound to can use it. Very useful. I should do that to my furnishings."
What looked to be one of Loki's magical clones walked up to the back of the couch, book held in one hand. It was smiling gleefully down at Val. It was highly likely that she would realize the sensation of sudden nothingness between her back and the couch, as soon as he cast himself into his illusion, swapping places with it.
Which he did, right at that very moment.
“Hey it was enslave or be enslaved for me in that place. The Grandmaster liked me but apparently not as much as he liked you.” Val explained. She too didn’t think he was for lounging on, all skinny and hard like lying on the floor but with more attitude; however, she was also enjoying it for many reasons not the least of which was the hypothesis that it might be bothering him. “Oh, you planned ahead! Well done. What name will they hear then, for I will surely want to scream it?”
Val chuckled when Loki talked about binding his furnishings to himself. “Learn to share, young prince. It’s like you don’t have siblings or something, I thought all of you brothers-of-somebody knew how to share?”
Just as she finished talking Val saw the shadow walking towards her and looked that way to see another Loki grinning down at her. “Oh good another one. Now it’s a party.” She said, smiling back with a wink. And then, she felt her own body sinking when Loki’s body mass disappeared from under her and Val hit the couch with an ‘oof’. Breathing slowly, Val adjusted herself on the couch, head on the arm and legs crossed at the ankles. She grinned up at Loki with just as much glee. “And I win!”
Oh good, she found him uncomfortable. Just like everyone else, and he wouldn't have it any other way. Loki held up his closed book, followed by a swift twist of his wrist so it completely vanished. He was smiling, his nose scrunched up slightly, looking thoroughly amused.
Placing both hands on the back of the couch he leaned on it for a moment, and his fingers tapped against the black leather for a moment, before he asked, "Did you?"
The entire couch slowly split apart into many squiggling wriggling black snakes, which slithered off in every conceivable direction. To which Loki let out a soft little 'aww' sound, followed by a lighthearted, "And today's lesson is that we've learned that I'm bad at sharing."
When Loki leaned over Val’s gaze widened, her gaze never wavering while she wondered whether or not to play with his hair, maybe try to braid it, just to give it a little flair. Even she had changed hers and Thor...well, they didn’t discuss that particular traumatizing experience.
When the pieces of the couch she was laying on started coming apart Val looked to her sides, body tensing up suddenly. “What the bloody hell?!”
Oh, she was lying on snakes now. Good. This was great. Valkyrie was, of course, not afraid of snake but neither was she a fan of lying on a squiggling pile of them. Val rolled over away from them as much as she could before picking one up by its middle and observing it closely. “Is it real? Really real? If I bite it will I taste snake entrails? Or will it come undone in my mouth like air?”
Without looking at Loki, she also pointed to him; “Technically though I did win. The competition was for the couch, and I did end up lying on it while it was still one. Doesn’t matter if there was a you in between.”
"Oh no, you have technically lost the couch. Therefore, I have won this bout," he said, imperiously pointing down at her. "I hope you do enjoy the floor you will now be lounging upon."
Oh, these two were not anywhere near being role models for maturity, and Loki knew it. In fact, he was reveling in it. Their fellow Revenger was like the sister he wished he and Thor could have, instead of the actual sister that looked more like himself than Thor did to her. Was Thor the adopted one? One must wonder.
"The snakes are tangible now, but utterly harmless." He bent down to pick one up and it wrapped around his wrist and stayed put, its tongue flickering at the air. "Were you to bite one, it would likely taste like the leather it was created from. And you would hurt it for the time I have given them the gift of sentience. Far be it for me to tell you that half of them have already slithered away, to hide from you. You now have half a couch underneath you, and even those are making their escape."
Near Val's knee, a cluster of the pitch black snakes started biting at one another, clearly having a tiff.
"Oh stop that," chastised Loki,nudging them with one foot. "That's uncalled for."
“I’ve sat and slept in much worse places than a floor full of snakes, little man.” Val chastised. And it was true, too. “Oh no, I don’t intend to eat the poor creatures. Alive.”
Val hung one snake up on her shoulder, and picked another one to wrap around her ponytail, which the snake seemed not inclined to do. They were as accommodating as their master, apparently. Still, Val managed to wrap a few around her wrists and ankles, then neck, and finally seemed to wear one as a tiara or a headband of sorts. She looked up and grinned at Loki.
“I know Thor would probably prefer the snakes to the couch, but Darcy’s not afraid of snakes is she? I have gleaned from the interweb that there seem to be animosity towards them down here for some reason.”
With the dismissive wave of one hand, the snake in Val's hair finally complied, so it wrapped around her hair in a ponytail, and completed the whole reptilian ensemble that she was aiming for.
In the meantime, Loki had been on the cusp of uttering a snarky comeback, but his mouth closed at the mention of Darcy potentially being afraid of snakes. She didn't seem the type to be afraid of anything, just like Val wasn't, but by the way his eyes moved side to side as he mulled it over, he wasn't certain. Midgardians were cut from a different cloth.
Even so, he could not - would not - let Valkyrie win. Besides, the snakes were not lethal, so perhaps he should offer some shred of courtesy and text Darcy to let her know. And maybe let her know that there was no couch to sit on, which was perfectly fine, because Val had been drinking on it constantly. Did she not have her own room to herself? He squinted while smiling, which only made him look more delightfully mean spirited.
"Do not eat my couch," he said. "And stop wearing it. It is still mine."
Val nodded solemnly in thanks as Loki made the snake behave like a living scrunchie, then giggled as some snakes slithered around her and tickled. “Right I want to keep them as pets now.” She murmured, looking at one of the wrist ones in delight.
She almost told Loki they were as slimy as him but that would have been just mean spirited enough to end this good will they were having towards each other, and Val was frankly tired of conflict. Any kind of it. Even still, when he told her not to eat his couch, which she wouldn’t and to stop wearing it, she looked at him, finger on the chin as if thinking, then said, “Hmmmm...no!”
After that, Val turned around on her backside and started messing with the television remote. She had recently discovered America Ninja Warrior, and also that programs could be recorded to watch later. So, she started searching for ANW air dates and pressing record on all of them. That would be the rest of the day. Maybe she should get a snack. “Loki can you magic me some popped corn?”