InsaneJournal

Who: Darcy & Loki
What/When: following this discussion with Valkyrie.
Rating/Warnings: chartreuse, language.

Loki left his much calmer countenance upstairs with Valkyrie, while he himself was standing at the bottom of the stairs, taking several deep breaths in, to try to calm himself. It didn't work. He may have apologized, and he did mean what he said, but there was a part of him that felt things festering once more, and he wondered to himself if this was all worth his time and effort.

It would be easier to let it burn. To roast what Midgardians called 'marshmallows' over the wreckage and ruin.

He stalked into the kitchen, opened a packet of poptarts, cramming one into his mouth and chewed on it with the sort of vengeance one reserved for a much reviled foe. While doing chewing, he summoned a knife into his hand, and turned toward the nearby wall, throwing the blade into the wall with enough force that it was buried halfway to the hilt.

That helped burn off some of his temper. Enough that he leaned back against the wall to sullenly stare forward, while muttering "bloody Helheim" under his breath. And there went the other poptart, right into his mouth, so he could chew and stew at the same time. It was quite the unsightly display. At least he had apologized, but he needed to get his temper in check before he went back upstairs to finish the last of the healing.

Darcy had been kind of hanging around, not really doing much but playing video games this whole time. She knew that Val was feeling better, but she still had nearly all of her stuff here. Minus clothes. And food. Right now though she was kicking some butt on Far Cry 5. Newest game that came out recently. She heard some clanging though, him stomping down the stairs and opening up some cupboards.

Putting the game on pause, she wandered out into the kitchen just in time to see the knife go into the wall. Hopefully not anywhere near her head. Good grief.

She let out a yelp.

“What the fuck is going on?!”

Of course not, it would never be near Darcy's head. He was halfway across the kitchen, by the table, looking very much like there was an angry black scribble hanging over his head. He blinked wide-eyed at Darcy when she yelped, and gestured with one hand toward the knife in the wall, his face stuffed with toaster pastry. He rolled his eyes for a moment and pointed at his face, to convey that chewing was tedious and he would speak once he could do so without spewing crumbs.

Finally he could do so, and he heaved out a sigh, reaching over to grab the knife and give it a yank that drew the blade out with the greatest of ease.

"Valkyrie wishes to leave. She feels inadequate and as though she will only fail us," Loki said. "And I have made things magnificently worse."

Yeah but it could have been! Darcy would have let out a yelp either way though. She waited patiently for him to finish his poptarts and made a note to put them on the grocery list again. Oh wait. She didn’t live here anymore. There would be no poptarts for her to get. Instead she focused on his words.

Val wanted to leave. She thought about what to say. What she wanted to do was make a joke about how America really sucked and of course she’d wanted to not live here cause god it was awful. Cause it was. Jokes. Sort of.

But this probably wasn’t the time to agree with her.

“You did? How did you do that?” she asked instead. Because that seemed safe.

Of course, Loki had been reminding himself for the entire week thus far that he was the reason that Darcy wasn't living with them any longer. He was not merely the God of Mischief, but the God of Magnificently Messing Up. He wanted to remedy that, since having Darcy there normally made him feel much more at ease. Her presence was more laid back and free-spirited, and he had someone to banter with or to share in a sarcastic joke. Even about her country, which he listened to with rapt fascination. He would have welcomed a joke, actually. It was better than feeling like he needed to hurt everything that he didn't care about, or wondering why he cared at all.

"I accused her of shirking her duty and running off to drown her sorrows elsewhere," he admitted with a frustrated exhale, idly tossing the blade aside. It disappeared into thin air at the precise second the metal left his fingertips. "It was not a successful negotiation. I lied. I could not tell her that I can open a path to another realm. The only one I know thus far is the same path that we tread upon."

Maybe one day that would change, and she would move back in. If they still wanted her. It just depended on how long she and Loki could go without just fighting and screaming at each other. So far this had been the longest stretch they’d gone without fighting. It was nice, but she was trying not to get her hopes up. She wanted things to be carefree and easy, but living in a house like this wasn’t exactly that. It was hard to read him, whether he needed a joke or not.

“Oh. Ouch.” She winced slightly. “Well, I mean. That’s good. You shouldn’t tell her anything. I get why she wants to go. It’s hard being told you can’t leave, can’t spread your wings.” She didn’t really know what was up with Val. “I think she’s got a lot of things going on, that have nothing to do with you. And you two just.. Clashed, I guess.”

Darcy's jokes tended to be like dumping a waterfall on a bonfire, not that he ever bothered telling her that. At this moment, he looked as though he was thoroughly absorbing what Darcy was saying, brows knit together and his lips pressed into a thin line of frustration. Whether it was with himself, with Valkyrie, or everything...might seem confusing, as far as getting a good read on him or his ever changing moods.

He realized that Darcy was right, of course. Darcy was usually right, even when she was speaking quite vividly in ways he only wished he was capable of. He wished he could be as unfettered as she was. It was also a source of of relief to have someone to openly speak to, that he also shared a terrible secret plot with...although he fouled that up too when Darcy stumbled across it.

"Yes, ouch. You are correct, as well. For I did take it as a personal affront." He drew in a deep breath and clasped his hands together behind his back, so he could hide any wringing there. "Would you let her go, if you had it in your power to do so?"

Darcy didn’t want it to come across like she was trying to play sides, or even trying to tell him what to do. She wasn’t. But at least it seemed like he was not being mad any more, so that was a good thing. At least he wasn’t stomping and yelling or anything. Throwing knives into the wall and everything.

He took a lot of things as a personal affront, but then so did she. A LOT of things. There was no bringing it up because that would be pretty hypocritical of her. He knew.

“Uh...no. I mean. Because if you let her go, then you’re going to everyone who isn’t supposed to be here, asking if you can send them away. And while that in theory is okay, keeping them here sucks. I know. I don’t know about this time thing. I don’t know how it works. What’s to say you let her go, but she ends up right back here. Like how your brother just disappeared and then came back. For no reason.” There were a lot of variables. “It...might be a good idea if everyone had their own place to live though. This whole...everyone together? It’s not good for anyone.”

If Thor was dragged back to...wherever it was....and thrown back without all of his memories, then it could happen to any one of them. Loki blanched as such an implication set in. Fear was sinking its claws deep into his chest and refusing to let go, snuffing out a significant portion of his burning rage in one fell swoop. He was silent and still, and all he could utter in response was a worried 'hmm' that was so low, that it almost wasn't audible at all.

That means there might not be any escape. Nowhere to run, even if he one day tried to convince Darcy to go to another realm entirely. There were a lot of variables, and in the midst of everything around them - that chaos that he sometimes reveled in - this one unsettling fact had been overlooked.

He also felt Darcy was right about the living situation. Trying to convince Thor of that would be a hard bargain. But thinking back on it all, there had been many interchanges and brewing resentment in the royal court. Everyone's chambers were only a short stroll away, and they often took meals and attended councils together when not away, engaging in battle or other pursuits. It was communal living and, for Loki, that hadn't been a positive influence to say the least.

"I fear you are right. On all counts, but clearly as far as living together becoming a source of frustration for one another. I do not think Thor will let me wander unchecked, even though we are...what is that saying?" He paused to think it over. "Up in one another's grill?"

Oh it got worse than that. There was a chance now that it meant that one of them could just disappear and come back. What if Darcy just up and vanished, came back and didn’t remember being in love with Loki. What if Loki didn’t remember Darcy? It could happen. Without warning. Didn’t seem like there was anything they could do about it. There was a lot of things that could go wrong. She’d thought about them, and worried about them and then ultimately decided that if she kept worrying, she’d go nuts.

She could talk to Thor about it and try to convince him. Maybe he would be more inclined to see reason now. Hopefully. This wasn’t a big expansive palace where they could all avoid each other when things got heated. Here? Not so much. It was one of the reasons that she had moved out herself.

“No, he probably won’t. But .. he’s gotta kinda grow up. And so do you. You’re both people. You can’t be up each other’s asses all the time. It only causes all of this fucked up shit. He’s gotta come up with another way, if he wants to keep an eye on you. Unless his power is being able to be everywhere at once, then you know.. You gotta let some shit go.”

She shrugged her shoulders.

Despite her colorful vernacular, Loki's entire expression softened significantly. Oh, how he loved the sarcastic and quirky little force of nature that Darcy was. He didn't often have anyone else who would brazenly claim to speak on his behalf...well, besides Thor. If they weren't at odds.

As for the rest of it, he didn't want to forget her either, or anything that happened, good or bad. When Thor returned, he could tell he was pulling away further into his own thoughts, which wasn't exactly helping as far as seeing anyone else's point of view. He wasn't exactly well versed in such a capacity, anyway. Now it was only growing worse.

He drew much closer to Darcy, taking her hands in his. He appreciated having someone to talk to, that was - strangely enough - able to put into words what he himself seemed unable to convey at the worst of times, without unsightly or intense emotions clouding his so-called 'better judgment.' His judgment was debatable, at best. Horrid, at worst.

"You might appeal to him," he said, not putting anything past her. She was not only insightful, but full of surprises. "Although given my many trespasses, I would expect him to say no. Especially if you use your usual colorful vernacular. Nevertheless, I want you to know that, even if it is futile? I do appreciate the gesture."

He leaned down and placed a lingering kiss against her forehead. And, after a moment of quiet contemplation, Loki asked, "I suppose this means you would not want to return to live here, if asked?"

If she had to argue with Thor about Loki, then she would. She was on his side, and she trusted him probably more than most people. She got why Thor wanted to keep an eye on him, truly. But if he was focusing all of his attention on that, then everything else was going to go to shit. Either Loki was going to fuck things up, or he wasn’t. Thor couldn’t do anything about that really. Only how he responded to it.

She put her hands in his and gave them a squeeze. “I won’t curse at Thor. I guess.” Even though Thor was probably used to her cursing by now. Surely he had to be. She just was emphasizing a point. But that could be done later.

“Maybe. But if it was just you and me. And not you and me and fifteen other people, y’know what I mean? I mean it’s fine being quiet and everything but .. I am so tired of living in a place that’s just not my own.. Having to .. not walk around naked when I want to. That kind of thing.” She shrugged.

Loki knew Darcy would do so, and while there was the inkling that he could perhaps use that to his advantage someday, he also found that he didn't want to. It was a constant source of surprise to him, and perhaps because Darcy trusted him enough to keep the secret of where he hid the Tesseract. A bond he never imagined being forged, but then again, there were plenty of things he never intended to have happen, either. He certainly never thought that he would be stuck on Midgard with his brother, or falling for a weird little Midgardian woman capable of shocking even the likes of him into submission. He was even - horror of horrors - growing accustomed to this planet. Even if he liked to complain about how miserable it was. Sometimes Darcy complained about it as well. When in a realm one must do as the realm dwellers do, he supposed.

At first he was looking more like his usual self: openly amused and like several golden wheels were turning in his mind, formulating grand ideas and probably a few pranks. Or perhaps he was painting vivid mental pictures. Yes, he was definitely painting some mental pictures, and they didn't involve death or destruction. At all.

"The timing is poor, as there may be a call to arms. But if you ever approach him with this matter, please do not curse overly much at my brother," he asked, after drawing in a deep breath. Thor was sentimental and kind, but he also had a temper and an actual force of nature behind him. Darcy only had force of will, and nothing else. That worried him. Often.

Although she had painted quite the mental picture indeed, he immediately looked regretful. "That is a pity, Darcy. I was asking."

Glad that he had calmed down and wasn’t trying to stab things any more, she nodded her head any more. Better to keep him that way. “Yeah, I know. I mean.. I’m just saying that he should suck it up and deal with it. Buuuuut. I get what you’re saying.” Oh she definitely wasn’t scared of Thor’s temper. Not any more. Maybe at first, when she hadn’t realized what he was capable of. Now though she was probably going to be just as stubborn.

She frowned a bit. “No no, don’t mistake that. Don’t get all sad on me. I didn’t say no. I really didn’t. I want to live with you. We just have to work some things out first. I don’t know if anyone would want me to come back here. And I would prefer if we could live alone, but I realize that it’s going to be hard. So just.. Not no. Okay?”

Maybe they’d gotten to the point where they could co-exist. “But for now, I can stay over like the night? All the time? In your room? Cause .. let’s face it, I’m gonna be in your room anyway, right? Like our bedroom. Not just yours or mine.”

He hadn't really spoken much to anyone about anything involving him and Darcy, as he wasn't as accustomed to being so open about such matters. Trying to keep himself bottled up and evasive he could do. Completely restrained, not so much. He supposed it would only be a matter of time before it became much more obvious there was something going on between them, while trying to navigate through relations with his tentative (he hoped) friends and his brother. It was currently more love and less hate on the brotherly front, which put him in a better mood overall.

He looked a little wistful at what she said, but it was quickly covered with an ever-widening smirk. This sounded like a fine arrangement. Any ruffled feathers were smoothed down. He raised one of her hands up to breeze a kiss over her knuckles.

"I like the way you think," he replied. "Then I would ask if you would put your things in our room and stay the night, all the time. It is the same as we have been doing, admittedly. Although all of Asgard isn't here to judge me for it. Only Valkyrie. And Sif. And Thor...."

That list could go on, with many people who had every right to judge And that little dark part of himself was telling him he deserved it, but why should he care if they did anyway? He should do what he wanted and take what he wanted and damn all the consequences.

He tried to ignore the temptation of such thoughts, concentrating on Darcy instead. Darcy was good. She didn't like it when he did evil and malicious things. Or stabbed walls, apparently. To his credit, at least it was an inanimate object that he vented his frustration on. See? He was learning.

"Pay me no mind. What were you doing before you entered this room?" he asked, wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible. He needed to keep his temper cool so he could concentrate and finish healing Valkyrie. He suspected she was gaming, which she seemed to excel at. He thought it a waste of time at first, and then was too happy to watch and offer idle remarks, including 'Pet the dog further so the beast is more sufficiently healed.' He liked to think he was being useful, somehow. Even when Darcy's lips pursed out and her eyes blazed and she started slamming a thumb down on the button with much more force than necessary.

That always made Loki smile. The mere thought of it did, and he smiled right then. Like an obnoxious little shit.

Seeming glad that she had managed to unrankle him and calm him down again, she happily nodded her head. “Yeah, I’ll move my stuff in. You might have to magic a bigger space for all my crap though.” She didn’t know if he could do that, but she was pretty damn sure that he could. He could do most anything right? He’d hidden the Tesseract in another place, surely he could make a big closet.

Eventually she’d have to talk to Thor about things. But all in due time. “Uh playing this game called Far Cry. It’s about a cult, and you gotta take back your country from the cult. You shoot things and blow things up. I’ll show you.”

And she did, which resulted in a lot of laughing and carrying on. And her dying. A lot. Because she was bad at those games, though she loved them all dearly. Yes, of course, she'd pet the dog. She'd pet all the dogs. There were a lot of dogs in the game. She could pet literally all of them. They were all good boys and girls.

Sooner or later though, she would be definitely distracted by him. All the ways.