Even while he listened to every word Ellen was saying, Tony's face was a blank slate. His eyes were locked on target as always, but it was almost as though he wasn't seeing her. He didn't like thinking about the cave. He never even really talked about it, other than the debriefing he gave the military afterward, and then he barreled straight into a press conference while eating cheeseburgers, and went directly into the garage to start a rebuild. That was his coping mechanism. He knew that military vets had a harder time integrating into civilian life, especially after a war injury. He woke up with shrapnel trying to squirm into his heart and she lost an arm, along with seeing how much combat? And doing anything to get some normalcy back was something he was familiar with.
A couple of blinks later and he managed to hit the flaps to slow that freefall, refocusing again.
"I know all about that neck deep thing," Tony admitted, since he had found himself there with Ultron, and then with Steve. "Maya gave your arm back. It was her project, her baby. Killian took that from her and used it to push his own agenda. Which you happened to fall facefirst into. Trust me, I know it happens."