InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "i rule"

It was raining, and had been for several days. Thor was in a mood, and Sif didn't want to deal with it. He was her best friend, and she understood everything that had driven him to lose his temper in New York, up to and including a desire to slap the sorcerer Strange silly. But still, he had only made it harder for them to get Loki out. And in the meantime she was drilling the guard in the mud.

Sif had asked Val to come by for an evening of chess, a game Sif very much enjoyed. Both because it was obviously hard on Val, with Loki in the Midgardian prison called the Raft for the foreseeable future and Thor having exiled them from New York by his raging storm and because Sif, for all that she had children to teach and guards to instruct, wanted company as well. And it wasn't that she thought Val would go to break Loki out if Sif didn't keep an eye on her but removing temptation didn't hurt.

Moving her queen to check Val's king, and probably mate in a few minutes, Sif asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

~

She was having the worst time. She wanted nothing more than toss the metaphorical crown to the ground and go break Loki out, but she'd talked herself off that ledge twice. When Sif got her to leave the house, she was grateful. The only person she'd seen since everything was Thor and that was just as stressful as she expected.

Sif offered a less troublesome distraction, except now she had lost the game they'd been playing. She thought, uncharitably for a moment, she was taxing her ability to think rationally. Her hand shot out before she could stop herself to wipe the pieces off the board, eyes watching them fall as if they were parts of her falling instead.

"Mmm if I said no would you believe me?" She said after a moment then smiled, though it was pained, "I feel pulled in too many directions at once, Sif. And for all that I was resistant when I got here and couldn't remember anything, I feel utterly lost. My house is so quiet."

~~

"Would I have asked if I didn't want to hear it?" Sif countered with a wry smile. "We've got to do something. I know you're upset, and probably a little angry at everyone. I am too. And your whole situation with the arrival--that only makes it worse. You know him and you don't, and here he has done something foolish and can't shield himself from the consequences, and Thor is taking it hard, and and and ..." Sif trailed off and threw up her hands.

She started to pick up the chess pieces. "So go on, tell me all about it. And we'll figure out what we can do."

~~~

"No. You would not have." She replied with a faint smile. She liked Sif - she didn't get along with many people. She was too old, too bitter and too dedicated to her work. But she'd come to like the woman. "A little angry? I'm absolutely livid. I just came around to seeing what I saw in him -" which was a phrase that sounded strange still "- and now he's in trouble. I want to go lay waste to everything in my way to fix it but I can't do that." She raked a hand over her face.

"Thor losing his temper put me in a bad place. If Loki just got caught, it might have been easier to get him back. But Thor's whole display? Wrecked that. I know. I get how he feels, I do but by the Norns! I keep seeing me fighting him on the news and online when I peek, and I get angry all over again" She grumbled, moving to help pick up the pieces.

"Now I have to figure out how to pick up the pieces and shield our home from fallout and get Loki back. And I'm trying to put together a coherent offer of monetary reparations, apology and everything, when all I want to do is punch things." She sighed, a heavy tired sound. "And I miss him and I'm still not sure how to handle that."

~~~

"In your shoes," Sif observed, "I'd be hard pressed not to punch him. He's King, even if he has stepped aside, and it was him who had put us in this position. Plus he'll be lucky if he hasn't gotten the Avengers in trouble as well. I don't know what to do there either, but if you want my assistance in talking to them, of course it's yours." She set the handful of pieces she had on the table and reached out to squeeze Val's hand.

"I'm upset about Loki, too. It's no secret I've been suspicious of him for a long time, but he's really--changed isn't the right word; he does that all the time--he's learned how to get on with Thor without needing to undercut him. They've both grown up. Maybe we all have, now that Queen Frigga and King Odin are gone. Which I know is a sore subject for you. Odin did terrible things to the Valkyries! But for those of us who came after that, he also undermined Loki in some ways that make Loki less confident in himself. It just seems wrong that Loki's only being called to answer for his crimes with the Chitauri now when he wouldn't commit them again.

"And if I said anything more about Thor, I would only repeat what you've said, so I won't add more. Except: he's my best friend and he was wrong and I don't want to have that argument, so I'm hiding in here." Sif made a face. "Let Jane sweet-talk him into better behavior so the sun can shine again."

~~
"I mean… I wouldn't be remiss if I punched him. I think it's allowed, right? I'm King back home, that puts me on even ground." She squeezed her hand back. She was tense, almost rigid with anger but she was trying. "I will take all the assistance. There's so many unknown variables." She added after a moment.

"He's… different. He changes like the weather on a normal day, that's just his nature, but he is trying." Valkyrie sighed a bit, her brow knit, "He's told me I've helped him to be better, and I will be honest - I don't expect anyone to forgive him or forget or not be wary - but he deserves the chance to prove he's grown up like the rest of us. He has been ill treated, and thrown away, like I was. There aren't enough of us left."

"I'm worried his prolonged confinement will be detrimental." Valkyrie cringed, "I'm too old to coddle Thor back into the right mindset. Let me tell you I've never felt all my years until now. I am also too old to have this many complicated feelings."

~~

"Let the strength of my youth help bear you up," Sif suggested, "since you're having to put up with impetuosity and temper. And let's consider what to say to the Avengers, because we need their help to get Loki out as quickly as we can."

Sif, too, was concerned what imprisonment would do to Loki. He was easily changeable by nature, and Sif sometimes thought he reflected what others around him were like. She and Thor and Val had served as a trifecta of stability for Loki, modeling a kind of adulthood and offering a respect that had never gotten from Odin. In a prison, particularly one run by the man who had so gleefully announced Loki's capture, Sif could easily imagine Loki internalizing bullying and bluster.

"We could ask the Avengers for guidance on what would be the most acceptable way to apologize, to make reparations. I can take the lead on that if it would help. Tomorrow we can look over what we have to offer in terms of money and aid, and we can seek advice on the--social ramifications, and what apology would sit best with the Midgardians."

Knowing Thor as she did, Sif expected whatever apology Thor would have to make would sit ill with him. He'd lost control and behaved like a child. Either he was going to be embarrassed and angry, or more likely, he was going to be embarrassed and self-loathing. Loki wasn't the only one who could fall into bad habits of feeling when left without support.

"We should start with speaking to them through the network, though, because I don't think it would be safe for us to return to New York in person," Sif added regretfully as she put the last of the chess pieces back on the board. "Probably not even for Jane."

~~

"Please, that would be most appreciated. Hopefully they can suggest what we need or how to play their game well enough." She said carefully, trying to shift modes. She'd get there and be the one Thor thought she was.

"I am working with Thor on the apology, and whatever punishment I must deal out to him publicly. His suggestion, and he isn't wrong. He's offering to fund things, and I'm inclined to let him. I'll have to go pick up the slack to keep us afloat. I need to write an official statement." Despite her bluster, she really did like having to work so hard. She thrived off the challenge.

"Once we do that, can I trust you to help keep Thor from sulking too far? Between you and Jane you might just keep him from acting like his brother. If he must be mad let him be mad at me. I'll shield everyone, and New Asgard as much as I can. I can handle the words and whatnot. Our people did nothing to deserve them."

~~

"No, they didn't, and neither did you. You shouldn't have to bear up under the anger of Midgard. It should be Thor's job, though suggesting his own punishment is a good start. But yes, I can help Jane do what's needed to keep Thor on balance," Sif reassured Val. "You're not alone in this. We will get through this, together, and we'll figure out how to get Loki back."

~~

She smiled a little, disagreeing that she didn't have to bear this, only a bit. "It's okay. It's my job right now. We'll survive this. We can survive anything " she reached out to squeeze her friend's hand again.

"Thank you, Sif. I really appreciate it. Everything." She smiled then reset the board. It was good to escape for a little while.