|şçąŗɭęţ (witchiest) wrote in avengers_logs,|
@ 2020-02-02 16:50:00
|Entry tags:||-complete, loki laufeyson, wanda maximoff|
Who: Wanda & Loki
What: Loki comes by to give Wanda a foot-warmer and also hold a baby
When: After this
Where: The hospital
|Pathing to the hospital wasn't tricky. Neither was getting into the building or Wanda's room. A close inspection of a healer passing by allowed him to mimic her appearance with a spell. Looking like one of the healers meant it was easier to find Wanda's room number and slip inside without alerting anyone. He paused after crossing the threshold, plagued with doubt over his being there. Everything in his life still felt tenuous, as though one false move would send it all crashing down around him. Not to mention, it dredged up many conflicting feelings about his mothers, both the mother that adopted him and the mother that he never even knew. |
To him, motherhood was almost sacred, due to how close he was to Frigga. That reverence buffered her against the brunt of his anger, even if the full extent of feeling betrayed burned brightly at Odin.
He closed the door quietly and moved toward the bed with silent steps, softly clearing his throat to announce his presence. He had little doubt that Wanda could sense his magical energy, but his mental presence was shielded behind impenetrable walls these past few years. It was a lesson hard learned from when he fell into Thanos' clutches, more so than the days when he was trying to escape Odin and Heimdall's notice.
At the hospital, the nursing staff was working with Wanda to get the twins on a schedule - eating, sleeping, that sort of thing. It was important she stick with it once they all went home, and she was determined to do so - determined to breastfeed both of them at the same time as well, which she was also learning to do with assistance from the nurses. She’d actually just finished with that and had both Billy and Tommy with her now, a baby cradled in each arm, and was simply resting there with them while they were lulled into a milk coma.
Her nose prickled when she picked up on the scent of Loki’s particular magic - it was different than Stephen’s, which happened to be charcoal fire and cinnamon-spice, but Loki’s was more...woodsmoke. The crispness of winter and the cold. She assumed he’d change his appearance once he entered the hospital, and she recognized the face he’d borrowed for the time being.
“Hi,” she grinned, obviously pleased that he’d come by. “You are just in time for a cuddle, I see.”
He neared the bed, still in the guise of the male nurse, and produced a container that was golden with a screwtop lid, small enough to fit in the palm of one's hand. He set it down on the bedside table among the flowers and items given to new mothers, making sure it was well within her reach. Hesitantly, he leaned over the side of the bed, and couldn't help but smile a little down at the sleeping newborns.
The pair were rather cute, and Loki knew they were infinitely fragile. Even wearing someone else's face, he didn't look too sure about holding one of them. They were warm and safe in their mother's arms, and he couldn't help but think of what it must have been like to be discarded at such an age and left to die...
Loki blinked profusely and drew in a breath, steadying himself. This was no time for his melancholy to strike. He straightened a little more, composing himself.
"I've never held a babe, I'm afraid," he confessed, not daring to touch one yet. "Is there aught I should know before an attempt?"
Wanda thanked him for the salve that would no doubt make her chilly feet feel less like they were blue - they weren’t, of course, but whenever she attempted to walk, to shuffle across her hospital room floor, she instantly felt the cold. Rhodey brought her some socks though, so she’d just slather on some of this herbal, natural, crunchy goodness and then slip into those socks and her feet would feel amazing, she was sure of it.
It was also amusing to see Loki hesitant about holding a baby. He had been around for so long and had been through so much - and yet here was something new for him. “Just make sure to support his head,” she instructed, shifting so she could lift her arm a bit and make it easier for him to take the baby. The baby she offered was Billy, who stirred quietly - he had on more of a sea blue cap, and Tommy had on a darker blue, though they were fraternal twins so it would be easy to tell them apart as they grew into their features. Right now, it was simply that all newborns looked so similar. “He has a floppy neck.”
Loki did as instructed, holding the baby a little awkwardly, with eyes slightly rounder than the norm. This was definitely a new experience in his long life. Hundreds of years dragged on, full of bloodshed to "keep the realms at peace" and sowing untold chaos. There were countless adventures with Thor, where they tread on far-flung moons and came into contact (mostly of the physically violent kind) with innumerable creatures and alien races. And yet he was hovering by Wanda's bedside, careful not to stray too far if the child needed to be returned to her, more accustomed to holding a blade or a book.
Still, it wasn't all bad. The child didn't continue stirring, and Loki was careful to remain very still. The more still that he remained, the more that Loki could sense that spark of magic residing inside Billy, and he couldn't help but smile.
"I suppose it is a blessing that they are very sleepy," he said softly, as though not wanting to rouse either of them very much. "You may be able to find some small measure of rest after such an ordeal."
“They were just fed and I too always feel sleepy after a good meal,” Wanda chuckled, shifting Tommy to cradle him in both arms now, while she leaned back against the raised hospital bed, her pillows behind her. “But yes, rest and lots of fluids. I also can’t wait to fit into my regular clothes and shoes again.” Toward the end of her pregnancy, she basically felt like a beached whale - maternity clothes for double-the-fun pregnancies weren’t as stylish as regular maternity clothes, and that was saying a lot because even those weren’t great. And forget about wearing anything on her feet besides stretchy ballet slippers.
Sky blue eyes were soft as she watched Loki and Billy; it was good for him, to bond with a baby. She was glad she could help provide the new experience. “Do you think you would ever want children someday, now that you have found your match?” she asked curiously.
Loki was careful to keep his face a mask of neutrality. For all his skill at lying, it wasn't an easy task. His eyes were either too expressively large when upset or narrowed too much if he was angry. His mouth was all hard edges, either pressed together in a tense straight line or cut into a sharp smile that wasn't comforting most of the time.
As he looked down at Billy, it struck him more fully than ever before that he would never have this. Any dreams he had of having a family of his own died when Odin confirmed that he wasn't Asgardian by birth. Despite the unflattering myths about any twisted children he sired, he didn't want to give life to literal monsters with cold blue skin and blood-red eyes.
Beyond that, there were old tales of oaths taken by Valkyries, that they were forbidden wed or bear children after being branded and taking up arms. Odin's magic was powerful and absolute. The only thing it couldn't hold back forever was the embodiment of death itself.
He swallowed slowly and shook his head a little, not daring to meet her eyes.
"...I'm afraid not." His voice was hushed, so he didn't rouse the children in their arms. He did smile down at Billy as he spoke. "This isn't a fate the Norns weave for everyone, only those truly blessed by them. For any losses you have suffered, it has led you to this very moment. They are very beautiful, and you are glowing with happiness. That is all that truly matters."
Glowing with happiness was a nice compliment - mostly, Wanda felt exhausted and sometimes overwhelmed; she was a very young mother, all things considered, and she had moments when she wasn’t sure if she could even do this. If she’d be any good at all. But then she thought of Vision, and how much she had loved him, and how badly they wanted to build a family together - tie the knot, have a party, celebrate their union - and she pressed on, knowing that even though he was gone, his belief in her helped make her strong.
She wished he was here to see their twin boys - he wanted them so badly, and he would have loved them so much too. Wanda wished so hard it made her insides ache, but she had her friends to help her and she was grateful for that more than she could say.
“No matter what the Norns have weaved, I would like for you to know them,” she spoke, gazing at a very content Billy, who was quiet in Loki’s arms. “To be a central figure in their lives. Billy especially. I - he will need you. I know that much.”
As much as Wanda would try to protect him from the hardships that she experienced as she came into her own powers, she was aware it would be difficult for him regardless, because of what he was. How he was born. She did not have to borrow Stephen’s time stone to look into the future and see it.
Although he was still looking down at the child with a neutral expression, Loki was waging an internal war with himself. To be needed in such a way was a feeling he wasn't entirely comfortable with, and yet it was still welcome to hear that someone would trust him around their child. At all.
It would also be a form of torture, knowing he would never have this for himself. Then again, it would be a form of torture on the child, if others started to treat him, or his brother, differently. Either out of suspicion or fear.
"I'm honored you trust me enough to do so," Loki said as he stroked his fingers over the little knit cap that covered the child's head, with a touch as light as feathers. "Your bond will be stronger with this child, since you are bound together by magic. Yet it remains unknown what your other son's abilities will be. I assure you, given our lot in life, he will be talented in some other way. I promise to treat both of them as equals, so he does not become resentful."
He didn't need a time stone to know this either. In fact, Loki was looking at Tommy as though there was something more there but couldn't exactly put his finger on what it was. It was akin to the way he knew what vulnerabilities to use, how to coerce or manipulate others with only a glance. Perhaps this was a way to use that ability for good rather than evil...or simply that babies were easier for him to read into. Their needs were few and their lives were less complicated.
“I’m sure he will be talented too, yes,” Wanda chuckled fondly, glancing down at the baby in her arms. Perhaps he wouldn’t be able to tap into the mystical resources magic provided, but that didn’t mean he was any less loved or valued. She would make sure he knew that as well. “We have some time to figure it all out - hopefully their particular gifts will wait until they’re teenagers to manifest.”
Then again, was that really a better time? Puberty and hormones and...explosions. Literal, actual explosions. Wanda couldn’t wait (or, well, she could - she’d enjoy her boys being sweet little babies first).
“You’re doing so well with that,” she added, smiling warmly at Loki. “See - a natural at holding babies.”
Something so good and gentle could only last so long. Wanda didn't mean anything vicious in offering such observation, yet it still felt like the twist of a knife in his heart. He wasn't about to let his turbulent emotions taint her tired but happy moment.
It was also very hard not to cast any mage lights, dimly lit orbs resembling flittering fireflies, to give the infants something to look at before they slumbered. It was common for mothers to do so in Asgard, much in the same way that Midgardians hung objects above their cribs.
"Alas. All good things must come to an end," Loki said, already moving toward the side of her bed to give Billy back to her. He still had a task to see to elsewhere, whether it ended for good or ill. In all likelihood, it was going to be someone else's bad day rather than his. "I've no want to tempt fate by lingering overly long, but I shall visit very soon. Perhaps when you are home in the Tower?"
“Oh - yes, of course,” Wanda nodded, shifting Tommy to her other arm so she could take Billy back. He was asleep, of course, because there was little newborns did except nap, eat, and fill their diapers with rancid outputs. But she was glad that Loki had a chance to bond with him, even if she was a bit sad to see him go.
However, he’d be back. And she’d have her other friends dropping by too, so she wouldn’t be alone here for very long.
“I’ll be back at the Tower in a few days. Then I think we are going to have some kind of party, when I feel up to it,” she added. “Either way, I will see you soon. Thanks for visiting me and the boys. And thanks for that also,” she nodded toward where she’d set the jar on the bedside table. She couldn’t wait to try it out.
"It should warm you," he said, hopefully. "I asked Eir, our elder healer, to charm it, so it will not transfer through breast milk."
He smiled while wrinkling his nose a little, as though this wasn't a topic he had ever discussed with a friend before. Then again, he never had that many friends anyway.
"Thank you for allowing me to visit," Loki said, politely. Granted, he was polite even to those he was about to stab or use their own memories against them. At least at this moment, he didn't have any ill intent at all. The last thing he wanted to do was harm children or a young mother.
He retreated toward the door, opening it to depart and saying in a low, soft tone, "Find rest where you may, Wanda? I fear you may need every speck you can get."
Not a lot of people were comfortable discussing breastmilk. Wanda understood. She merely chuckled at the nose wrinkle. “I’ll do my best,” she promised, regarding rest. And she meant that. She’d integrated into this broken off dimension, had dug in deep enough to know that not everything went as planned.
And there was usually something brewing on the horizon anyway.