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shapeshifted) wrote in

avengers_logs,
@ 2019-10-30 09:30:00

Who: Nick Fury, Talos, and Carol
What: Carol telling her two dads to STOP MEDDLING, OKAY, YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE
When: Recently
Where: Fury's apartment
Rating: Green
Status: Complete

The fact that Talos got an apartment in the same building as Nick was perfect.

It wasn’t that Nick was lonely, per se. He had fun hanging out with Bobbi (who still tried breaking in with no luck on a regular basis), and chatting with Carol every once in a while also made him happy.

But having Talos around? Oh, it was on. It was nice to spend time with someone that completely and utterly understood him. Having Talos be Fury was something ridiculously private and intimate and Fury only agreed because he had total faith in his friend.

And the vacation had really done wonders. It had helped him reconnect with Nat, and force her to also take a trip away. Sure in the beginning they were both constantly doing recon, looking to see if they were being followed, if they were recognized but after awhile, it was nice to relax and even more hilarious for Nick to tell people Nat was his daughter and watch the flustered look on everyone’s faces.

Nick was in the process of explaining this to Talos when he remembered something. “Oh, I invited Carol to come by. Don’t want the door to knock and you panic and change into some weird face. She knows how ugly you are and she’s okay with it.”

“I’m bloody handsome and you know it,” Talos flashed those sharp teeth in a grin. He enjoyed hearing about Fury’s Food Tour ‘Round the World - it was perfect for the likes of him - because it meant the guy finally got to relax and take a load off a little bit. This was technically the second time he’d been Fury, and the second time must be the charm because nothing had gone wrong, no fires to put out.

Carol got mad about him politely pointing out to Sam that he needed to stop pussyfooting around and ask her out, but wasn’t that for her own good? He was only trying to help.

And he was great at helping. “Speaking of Carol, did I show you what Sam’s face looked like when I asked him for an autograph?” He’d mentioned his stint as ‘Sara’ at the coffee shop, but every story needed illustrations so he’d even show Fury right now, features contorting into ones resembling Falcon exactly - complete with wide-eyed dramatics and that ‘deer in headlights’ expression.

Being asked to come over to Nick’s to hang out was pretty much the perfect way to do some recon. Carol wanted to get back at Nick and Talos for their persistence and nosiness into her love life. She’d been thinking about the best way to get back at them, so seeing them both together was probably a good idea. She had some ideas, but she needed some time to perfect whatever was going to happen. And get Sam to help her out because he deserved some retribution.

Knocking on the door, she waited patiently for someone to open the door instead of just opening it up and coming inside. Still she knocked again, just in case she was about to walk in on them making out or something.

Fury actually laughed at Talos’ facechange. Sometimes, he wished for the same abilities because he would completely and utterly use them for the same reasons -- to fuck with everyone. It made him slightly happy to know that at least his friend did the same thing.

When the door knocked, he chuckled and got up, opening and raising his brows. “We’re knocking now, Carol? Come in. I’m surprised you didn’t use the patio.” What he left unsaid was if he could fly, he would. Always.

Nick was in a strange mood today. Maybe it was called ‘being happy’. Now that was a novel concept.

“Eat something. Want a beer?” He spoke as he led her into the living room where on the table in front of them was some platters of charcuterie, and some of Morse’s weird craft beers she kept leaving at his place. “The watermelon one is weird. Blame Bobbi for that. She has no taste in alcohol. In her mind, drinking is to get drunk.” Teasing, of course. “No slurpee flavoured ones though, Talos. Sorry. You’re siht out of luck there.”

By the time Carol was in the apartment, Talos’ face was back to normal - meaning, he wasn’t reconstructing the scene of a good troll, but more like he was himself. Green-skinned, pointed ears, those brightly burning violet eyes.

“Heya blondie,” he grinned innocently at her, relaxing further into Fury’s sofa. It was nice to get part of the gang back together again, all in one spot - they just needed Rambeau, and they’d be set. Sometimes he wondered how she was doing, both her and her daughter. “I dunno, now I’m intrigued by watermelon beer. Terrans drink the weirdest shit. There’s apparently a pumpkin one too, isn’t there?”

What in the actual fuck and why.

Carol grunted in half amusement and shook her head. “You want me to just drop in .. on whatever .. this” she gestured vaguely towards the two of them and the space around them. “Is? Yeaaaaah no thanks. I don’t want to be scarred for life, for whatever you two are doing in here.” It was still weirding her out a bit that they were buddy buddy.

She realized that she had missed a lot. Again. For being away. She missed a lot of things. Her nose wrinkled. “No, I’m fine. That sounds gross.”

For now though, she was just going to lay down the law. “So I’m here.. To tell you two, to knock it the fuck off. With Sam.”

Nick didn't even bother to play dumb. After all, Carol would see through that, and really, that wasn't his style. Nick Fury owned his mistakes. He owned his decisions. He could take responsibility for his actions.

Or he could throw his friend under the bus.

"It was Talos." Nick lifted his brows and shook his head sadly. "He just doesn't understand nuances about Earth but since you brought up Sam, Carol," Nick added, "Want to fill us on? We care, you know."

As the kids said, lmao. Talos may not ‘understand Earth nuances’ but he knew enough to give Fury the finger for that one. Oh well, he’d play along. Carol knew they were both full of shit anyway - and hopefully she also knew neither of them would ever do anything to truly hurt her, so. They meant well.

“I thought it was customary on this planet to ensure the satisfaction of merchandise before you purchase it?” he questioned, accent curling around the words curiously. “Oops, sorry, Blondie. It won’t happen again.” Maybe. Probably. Alright, he’d stop fucking with Sam - for now. “But yeah, like Cyclops said, want to fill us in? We’ve no idea what’s going on.”

Her eyes rolled up to the sky. “Uh huh. Talos. Sure.” As if she was believing that for one second. “I don’t know that I care to fill you in, since you’re too as nosy as ever. I mean I’m sure you’ve already got it all figured out, right?” She wondered if there was surveillance involved or something. Carol made a mental note to check for bugs when she got back home.

They were both really bad at lying to her. Really bad. It was kind of funny to think that everyone else was a little scared of Nick. No accounting for Talos though.

“Sam and I are dating. And we would have gotten there sooner, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.” Yes, she’d been watching Scooby Doo.

“You got there exactly when you were supposed to,” Nick answered, a small smile tugging at his lips. He actually was happy to hear that Sam had finally gotten off his ass and done something about his attraction to Carol. To know that they were dating versus just enjoying each other’s company sexually? That made things even better.

His features softened a tad. “I’m glad for you though. I know how hard it’s been since you got here.” He motioned to the table again. “Have a beer. Relax. Sit. Is there anything you haven’t been able to do since you got back? I was thinking of taking Talos to the planetarium, so he can laugh at all the things we got wrong about space.”

Yep, the actual dating was a bonus - Talos probably wouldn’t have gone as far as he did to try to get a grasp on Sam’s worthiness though, if Carol was just using him to get her rocks off. Hey, you did what you had to do, right? But no, she actually seemed to like him and the opposite was also true. This grizzled old Skrull general would allow himself to feel happiness for her, in his green, pea-sized heart.

“I’m glad for ya too, Carol,” he told her sincerely. She deserved someone who thought the world of her just as her two fathers did - only Talos didn’t want to enjoy her company sexually, no thanks. “Ooh, yeah, let’s go to the planetarium? I’ll take notes on all the mistakes the Terrans make.”

It’d be a long list, probably.

With a sigh, Carol relented and sat down, grabbing a beer. “Thank you both. Now please leave him be. I’m asking nicely.” And that was the only warning they were going to get. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be held accountable for the pranks she might pull. She took a sip of her beer, and eyed the two of them. “So.. neither one of you really told me how you two became bffs or whatever.” She gestured between the both of them.

“But yeah, I’m down for the planetarium. Terrans make plenty of mistakes, but I like it anyway. Going to the planetarium was the reason that I wanted to join the air force. And become an astronaut, but I guess I got past that part.” Carol was way more than an astronaut now.

Fury had to snort at that. “You’re an astronaut. One that can go into space without a suit, and you’re beholden to no one. So..better than an astronaut.” He nodded and lifted his beer up in salute. “How does it feel, not having to report to someone? I mean, I know how amazing it feels for me to have Talos report to me, and that information going absolutely no where.”

He grinned. “You know what I do with those reports you give me? Make Darcy file them according to how many ‘E’s there are in the first paragraph. It’s very satisfying.”

“One day I’m going to write ‘Fury is a jackass’ in comic sans font all over those reports. Repeated times infinity,” Talos snorted, getting up to grab another drink. Nick-o wouldn’t mind - maybe he’d even try one of those nasty craft beers.

Indeed, he had one now, plopping back onto the sofa and letting the bottle’s cap hit the coffee table with a plink. He took a swig and - yeah, alright. Watermelon was one weird-ass flavor to inject into a beer but he’d still drink it. Maybe he’d acquire a taste. “So at least you get to be useful, Carol, well done. I’m continuing to wait for an assignment that challenges me. As for our marriage - “ Or ‘bff’ status, whichever, “...I told ya, I was Fury for a bit when he was in space on the Skrull flagship. At least in the other universe it happened. I’d do anything for the fucker.” Awww.

“Well yeah of course I’m better than an astronaut.” Duh. Carol would be forever grateful for that. “It feels really good not to report to someone.” Though it had been a long time since she’d had a boss. It was nice. Not that she wouldn’t do as Fury wanted her to, but she wasn’t exactly one of his lackies, or even one of the Avengers that basically had to do whatever he asked. At least that’s what it felt like. She was her own woman.

“I mean before that. Clearly you two .. canoodled or whatever.” she gestured again with a wiggle of her eyebrows. Yeah she knew Talos had family. That didn’t matter. She liked teasing them, if they could tease her. “It’s cute. I approve. You have my permission to bff or be married or whatever it is you two kids want to do.”

As if they were actually the parents in this relationship. Ha.

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