Who: Peter and Tony What: While chatting about inappropriate things, a beacon goes off...(and surprisingly, not in Peter's pants) When: 2 am this morning Rating: Green
Sometimes, when Peter couldn’t sleep and he didn’t know what to do, he liked to head to Tony’s top-secret-not-really-okay-everyone-knows-about-it lab and tinker around. As much as he enjoyed his weird role as assistant (and he felt he was actually getting better at this), he felt the most comfortable when he was tinkering with something.
Today, he had an old blaster he’d picked up at some point that had been sitting around the hull of his ship for ages. It was rusted over, probably had various space germs, and was missing key technology to work. It was also really blue, and Peter liked how it felt so he wanted to see if it could work.
Blue reminded him of Facebook.
Facebook reminded him of a meme he had meant to say to Tony.
“Hey! Did you know that cum is just boneless children?”
Way to stay classy, Peter.
"Gross," Tony said, glad that he didn't bring Morgan to work.
There was a lot of stuff for a little kid to get into, and then there was Peter Quill. No way did he want to get into trouble if Morgan came home knowing a whole lot of inappropriate words that didn't come from Mom and Dad.
"Also true," he conceded with a face that was part smirk, part wince. "Did you know that the continents can be rearranged to form the shape of a chicken or a fire breathing T-Rex? True fact."
“Wait what?” Peter tried to picture it in his brain, but considering he had no concept of geography or had more than a 2nd grade Terran education, he gave up. Instead, he reached for his phone and searched before suddenly giggling.
“Dinosaurs are so cool…. Do you think it’s weird they’ve never found penis bones? I mean, isn’t that a thing? From old timey animals? A penis bone?” The skeletons he’d seen had nothing interesting on them. “They did a cool T-Rex autopsy on Discovery a few months ago, that was super cool. Why don’t we do neat projects like that? I bet we could do that.”
Tony blinked a few times at Peter Quill, as though he was trying to compute if Peter was drunk or didn't realize that most penises in the animal kingdom (and likely the dino kingdom) were soft tissue with a liquid filtration system. That didn't mean they had any actual bone involved.
"...you took the word boner too literally, didn't you?" he asked with a squint, still looking amused overall. "Also, this is Research and Development for an engineering and tech company. You know that right? That we're not paleontologists?"
“We could be paleontologists too.” That was a big word, and Peter was proud that he could pronounce it. He also had no idea what Tony meant by taking the word literally. He knew nothing about animal genitalia, what kind of pervert was he?
He was distracted though by a spark and a sudden flash of pain on his finger. “Goddamnit,” he cried out, sticking the finger in his mouth. Glaring at the blaster, he narrowed his eyes and tried to figure out what had happened. “I think I need to accept defeat here … or go back into space and load up on stuff….you know, I haven’t really left this system since I got here. Haven’t really wanted to, and that’s so weird . I also haven’t even bothered to check if my grandfather is still alive. That’s also pretty fucked up of me, isn’t it.”
"We could be, if we went to school to be dino scientists," he said, like using smaller words might help explain it clearer, "but something tells me you'd slack your way straight into Flunksville. So I'm not chipping in on your college education."
Tony looked over and stopped, which was configuring a new shielding system for the suit, and possibly against space debris hitting Stark satellites or rockets going to (or returning from) space.
"Gimme," Tony said, rolling his chair over to look at it. He helped build a time machine and a suit out of nanobots, so he was eager to take a look at a real space laser. Pew pew. "You could go back out into space, since it looks like this....is fried. Probably with your finger. Did you touch some metal before you went digging in it, or did you just pry it open with a butterknife and hope for the best? The inside of this is full of electronics and converters. They're your friend, not your enemy."
Tony didn't say anything for a long moment as his lower jaw jutted out, dark eyes studying everything as though he was memorizing it. He tinkered with Quill's ship before, even if Nebula was helping him. Ironically, not even that problem was hard to figure out: Too much damage and low fuel and resources for life support. And then, as though distracted, he muttered under his breath, "Yeah, maybe. But it's no more effed up than some other families are. I didn't get to give my dad a hug until after he died. So join the club on that familial brain fuck, buddy."
Peter would have been offended but it was true -- he would flunk right out so he wasn’t bothering going to university. Plus, he would have to have graduated from high school and that hadn’t happened either SO. It was a lose lose situation.
That being said, he shot daggers at Tony while the other man was poking around with the blaster. Peter might not be book smart, but he knew his way around electronics and gadgets and gizmos. Sure, he didn’t INVENT any of them -- instead, he did one better. He IMPROVED them.
He almost snatched the blaster back from Tony when Tony grumbled about effed up families. It froze Peter in his tracks. The two had worked together for a while, spent time together, got wasted together and yet they never really talked about much. It was always very light and fluffy and this? This was a weird vulnerable side Peter had never seen before.
But since Peter was all about emotions and overthinking, he nodded along with Tony.
“No one told me my mom was dying until she was literally dying...and then she was dead.” His voice sounded detached and cold. “My grandfather couldn’t understand why I was so upset...I ran out, out of the hospital, y’know? Anyways. That’s where Yondu picked me up.” He cleared his throat. “I was 8. I didn’t hear a single nice word towards me until ….. Well, I got with Gamora.” A hollow laugh escaped his throat. “And at least you got to hug your dad. I … never got that chance with Yondu. Wish I had.”
Tony was still poking around but much slower, and looking as though he was staring through it. His fingertips were roughened from too many years of handling soldering irons, which was what he was considering reaching for. Not to use it on Peter, either. Surprise!
"You know, there's a lot of missed opportunities," Tony grudgingly admitted, since they were opening up after how many months of working together? "That you regret this crap now? Means you won't make the same mistakes. You'll make brand new ones, and wherever my dad and your...Yondu...is? They'll be both proud and mocking the shit outta us from upstairs on a cloud somewhere."
It was both comforting and disturbing thinking of that. It was also kind of nice knowing that Peter wasn't a complete derp too.
"Sorry about your mom," he told Peter, sitting back in the chair and absently patting a hand on the worktable, a sure sign that this kind of talk wasn't in his comfort zone either. But maybe it needed to be said. "I miss my mom too. But, ya know, I kinda think the prereqs for a superhero gig are that you have a fucked up childhood or some other tragic ass backstory going on. And that's why we do the things we do."
Peter looked at Tony, a little surprised. He didn't know his mom was dead too. In fact, it wasn't until this moment that he realized how little he actually knew about Tony. There had been no google searches, no probing questions. Just an odd mutual respect and unspoken agreement to never discuss anything important.
"I guess happy people don't get shit done," Peter finally responded. "So it's up to us losers to get it together, and cry in the shower when we're done."
Was he tearing up a bit? Maybe. A little bit.
"It's better though, not being alone."
Discussing important personal stuff was inevitable after months of working together. At some point, something had to give and cats were let out of bags. Tony didn't hide it - he wasn't the type to and he even used it for the BARF demonstration at MIT - but he didn't volunteer it either.
"Hey. Shower tears happen. And you know what? That's ok too, because we get shit done." He patted Peter on the shoulder. "I think that whatever converter you've got there that switches the gears around for different effects? It's shot. Pun intended, space cowboy."
Tony sat back and tucked both hands behind his head.
"Got someplace you can go pick a new one up? I bet me or Tinker Toy can fix it. Oh, wait, I was calling him Shrinky Dink. Scott. Gets really tiny. Fucked up my suit once before I foamed him. And I don't mean that in a kinky way."
Peter still giggled. Shrinky Dink was way too close to Shrinky Dick.
He was glad that Tony changed the topic though. It was getting too maudlin and feelings? Feelings were hard and he didn’t want to get into it. Plus, he cried way too easily, and the whole idea of shower tears was a real thing that happened to Peter often.
“I can get a new one if I got into space. I mean, my drive is fixed, I could go … I just...haven’t.” The idea that Rocket and Groot were out there having adventures on their own, Mantis was somewhere, and Gamora ….well. He didn’t want to dwell on Gamora. No Yondu. Okay the tears were going to start again if he didn’t think of something else.
“It’s not the same without everyone there. I did mention to Shrinky Dink that I’d take him up to space though. Dr. Angry too. It could be fun …”
Men and feels were a combination that didn't really skip hand in hand down a yellow brick road with daisies and rainbows to either side. It was weird and uncomfortable and Tony avoided that stuff like the plague for the most part. What more would one expect out of a guy that listed his religion as 'Futurism.'
He was about to respond when a holo monitor sprung up with a red blinking light and a metric ton of coding read-out. He stood up and walked toward it, scrolling through it and eyes drinking it all in before he let out a soft 'huh' sound.
"Welp, I can't do this from here. One of the invasion security satellites seems like it might be out of whack," Tony said aloud, looking through it. "Long range sensors and communication components are giving some whacky readings. Must have been the hit it took from a space pebble a week ago. I didn't think it damaged anything out there past Pluto, but you never know...."
He looked over at Peter as though considering how right or wrong that it could go. Then he reminded himself that he was Tony Stark, and that if anything went wrong, it would somehow get righted again. He hoped. There was a 50/50 chance his stuff would blow up in his face. Sometimes literally. Not even figuratively.
"Maybe you could take them to replace these parts, before you go get another gun or parts to fix it. I can't reroute from down here, and I kinda hate space so...."
Invasion satellites? That sounded badass.
“How could you hate space? I mean, sure, other you had bad experiences, but this you hasn’t.” That counted right? Peter was sure it did. Peeking over at the light, he shrugged. “Pluto is only a few hours away. Yeah, we could be up there quick, see what we can do about it. I can ask them, we could bring fried chicken.” A pause. “ wait, if I have to bring Drax, I’ll need more than just chicken….you suuuure you don’t wanna come? We could take a hop over to Trail-8, check out the inter dimensional bazaar. I think you’d like it. Literally everything you could ever want, you can find. Literally. There’s this crazy brain 3D printer that creates from your subconscious. Holy shit,I made the coolest gun once….too bad the bullets were made out of smarties. Tasty though.”
"Went there, kid I actually like died there, saw a bunch of people dusted there, met a space psycho, nearly died in space," Tony shot off like his mouth was an assault rifle. "You can keep space. I think it sucks and I think I'd like to stay on Earth for a while before space sucks me back in with the lure of my subconscious being 3D printed or space bazaars, which is cool? But not 'nuff cool to get me up there this year. You got a ship? Great! I'll load it with chicken nuggets and lil' chocolate donuts, and you guys can go get this done. Right? Right."
Tony gave Peter two thumbs up and blew him a kiss, saying very cheerfully "Take care and don't mess up my stuff!" before he strolled over to the lab's most impressive toy: the javabot.
Heck, if they messed up his stuff, he figured he could throw a few more hundred million to the wind and put a replacement beacon up there.
Peter tossed Tony the finger but he was lost in thought so it was only a half-hearted effort at best. Space was good. This was good. It would get him out of his slump. Maybe he’d realize he didn’t want to get back either … or would he. He had no idea.
Pluto though … yeah. Awesome.
“If I break anything, you know I won’t tell you,” he responded finally, with a large grin. “And I’m okay with that, just so you’re aware. I won’t lose any sleep over it.”