InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "~system is watching you~"

"ɴɪᴄᴋ ғᴜʀʏ" (shapeshifted) wrote in avengers_logs,
@ 2019-08-01 08:07:00

Entry tags:

-complete, -spoiler, nick fury, talos

Who: Talos & Fury
What: Getting reacquainted, and Talos offers to do a favor for his BFF
When: Right after this
Where: Fury's apartment
Rating: Green (with Spider-Man: Far From Home spoilers)
Status: Complete

Nick stared at his phone for a few moments before setting it down gently and standing up.

Talos.

What the motherfucking what.

It seemed the more he was determined to work, the more the universe was giving him people he could trust and connect with in a way that made him uncomfortable (and secretly a little happy).

Bobbi. Phil. Nat. Clint (even if they weren't speaking). Carol.

And now Talos.

Well shit.

Fury would have a lot of explaining to do, and minimal time to do it in. Good thing the man never expected a damn thing, meaning he was ready for the unexpected. Which was good too, because before he could really process it, a portal was opening up into his living room and Talos was stepping out.

"Well. You're a sight."

The individual who stepped through the portal was wearing the face of R. Keller, SHIELD Director from the nineties (and what a great decade that was - Carol probably canonballed through the last Blockbuster ever though, now they were without and you just couldn't appreciate a good thing until it was gone, eh?), and carrying a cherry-stained Slurpee cup. He'd finished the last bit of it on the very short ride (what, like two seconds? Convenient way to travel) and tossed the empty cup into the nearest trash can.

"I'm beautiful, I know - you don't have to flatter me that much," the General smirked - and when he did, his face began to change. It probably looked a bit creepy, actually, the way his features twisted and contorted before being overtaken by his actual face. Green and proud, with pointy ears and eyes that were violet and radioactive in their brightness.

His clothes shifted too - he wanted the suit and tie Keller was so fond of to fuck off anyway. He just went with black pants and a black tactical jacket. "Nice place you got here," he added, glancing around.

"Indeed." His apartment was all kinds of amazing. No matter how many times Stark mentioned moving to 30 Warren, Fury refused. He liked his space, he liked his place, and he especially liked that he owned it. When you have no dependents, it's easy to buy real estate, even in New York.

Fury put aside years of hard work at ignoring people and came up to embrace his old friend. There were layers to the friends, acquaintances, special people, in his life. He had his pseudo children, he had people he could joke around with but this one? This was someone he had entrusted his very face to.

And that was not something lightly taken.

"I'm glad to see you, old friend. Carol is here too. This universe seems to be pulling in the best of us." He stepped back, his hands still clasped on Talos' shoulders. "Are you ...alone?"

For his kind, the forehead-to-forehead touch was a common gesture meant for greeting loved ones - on Earth, it was more like hugs reigned superior. And Talos wasn’t complaining - he liked hugs. He’d gotten pretty good at them by now, he thought, and he returned the embrace, patting Fury’s back.

Hey, the guy was important to him too. Don’t think he hadn’t noticed how Fury’s trenchcoat look had clearly been inspired by yours truly.

“I am,” he nodded. “Soren’s still disguised as Maria. I learned from this delightful packet of information that she won’t even really notice I’m gone?” That was...fine, he guessed. Skrulls mated for life though, so it was always difficult to be separated from your particular mate - even if by now Talos had been used to it. Their people hadn’t always been safely tucked away into a pocket of space, on his flagship. He’d missed the birth of his daughter.

He didn’t have to like being separated, however, it was what it was.

“But Carol’s here?” The General perked up a little at that. “I’ll be sure to see her. In the meantime, what can I do for you, friend? Surely there’s some bullshit to attend to on this Earth?” Wasn’t there always?

Soren made a damn fine Maria. Just like Talos made a damn fine Keller.

And it gave Nick an idea.

"There's always bullshit," Nick said bluntly. "Come. Let's have a beer and I'll let you know what's been going on since you left. This universe is an interesting one." And that was an understatement.

~*~*

A few hours later, Nick felt Talos was fully informed. Anyone who would dare suggest Nick didn't like gossip was an idiot. Gossip was life and information was priceless. It was fun to sift through the crap and find the gold.

"So long story short: Clint isn't speaking to me, Sam wants to date Carol, Goose is missing, and Thanos has been somewhat handled. Somewhat . We are all working together, I'm stuck with the idiot Guardians, and if it wasn't for my bakery, I'd be losing my fucking mind here." He shook his head. "the work gets done but the adults?" An eyebrow was raised. "All fucking children. And all fucking each other." He was surprised there weren't more babies on the way. Or weddings.

"It's a weird motherfuckin' life here."

Beer and gossip, now those were two things Earth got right. Talos listened carefully while sipping from the bottle - what amazed him were the nuances of beers, this one was kinda like delightful carbonation - and if he actually had eyebrows they’d be raised to his hairline and...well, he didn’t have hair either. Okay, he sorta had eyebrows, just the vague outline of - anyway, the point was, what the shit was going on around this place?

Good thing he arrived when he did. There was a lot of clean up to do.

“Sounds like Clint needs a plug for his vagina,” Talos stated bluntly - yeah, he was sympathetic to the loss of a family but his entire planet had nearly been wiped out by the Kree. At some point you had to take a tissue to your sniffles and get shit done. “Sam may want to date Carol but he can keep his sausage in its casing until we’re done vetting him.”

Because clearly he and Fury were Carol’s fathers, in case she hadn’t gotten the memo yet. As for the Flerkin, good fuckin’ riddance. “You and your bakery,” he chuckled fondly. “Listen - just do what ya did there, let me handle it for a little.” It sounded like Fury only remembered that he and Talos swapped places, a quirk of the universe - which, okay. When you had a multiverse after all you just dealt with things like that.

But here was a chance to do it again in real time. “I’ve got to make sure everyone’s safe on the flagship in this universe, so take a trip up there, check it out, then take your time coming back - ride a horse or build a sandcastle or visit one of those pussy cafes?”

He meant cat cafes, but whatever.

t took Fury a few beats to realize Talos wasn't encouraging a tour of brothels, and when he did, he shook his head.

"I think I'm definitely surrounded by idiots if you've managed to trick them for how long."

He took a drink of his own, tilting the bottom of the bottle up at Talos. "You brought the ship." Even though Carol and the Guardians had theirs, Nick hadn't really asked for them. But Talos... he'd ask him.

"That might not be a bad idea. I could use a break..." Everyone needed a vacation and he couldn't remember the last one. His instagram had been showing him some exceptional food tours lately....

Clearly, it was meant to be.

"Nat would figure it out in an hour. Carol, two. The rest though...." Nick grinned broadly. "I think I might take you up on that."

For Talos, he thought it might be a combination of Fury being surrounded by idiots and also that he was very good, and well-practiced, at what he did. Skrulls relied on their ability to shapeshift - it was literally what kept the remaining ones alive after the Kree destroyed their planet; they had to be able to effectively blend in wherever they were.

“Well, I’ll let you know how it goes, mate,” Talos chuckled throatily. “If you decide to take me up on it. But you do need a break, otherwise your brain cells’re gonna start dying.” They all needed him in tip-top form. But from what he knew of Natasha Romanoff, he couldn’t imagine much slipping past her though he’d do his best to make the disguise last an hour and a half. Carol just knew Fury very well - she knew him before he became a grumpy cattywampus. They sang songs together while doing the goddamn dishes. “Anything else you want me to know, if I’m set to be you?”

He could do it. There was no Beck in this universe (right??) to muck things up.

Nick thought for a moment. "Other than the current situation in Wakanda? Nope. I just got back from there. The king is great, you'll enjoy him. He's the complete opposite of you so mind your manners and remember I have a giant stick up my ass when talking to people who aren't you and Carol." And then he finally let a grin cross his face.

"Fuck, it's good to see you. I guess I better teach you how to bake ... or we let Angela in on the little secret. Otherwise, she'll wonder why I'm not in there prepping." He looked around his apartment. "And I guess all this will be yours. Or you can stay at 30 Warren. Blow Stark's mind, he'll wonder why I'm there....until a well deserved glare puts him back into his place." He chuckled lightly. "Oh that's another thing -- we're all friends now. SHIELD, Avengers, Tony, Steve, me. Everyone is friendly. It's interesting. I'm waiting for the conflict to start and people are actually being grown-ups with it comes to that. I don't understand and I don't care to."

“I can bake, no problem there,” Talos promised - well, er, maybe he should say he’d try to bake. But he’d have access to Fury’s most recent memories and there was probably a bundt cake recipe in there or some shit. Mostly he was glad to hear that there weren’t any booty calls coming around (it was easy when Soren was Maria because everyone thought Maria and Fury were sleeping together anyway).

Oh, the things he did for friends - but really, he’d do most anything for someone he considered himself close to. Giving this one here a chance to take a vacation was small potatoes in comparison to most things.

“Knock on wood the grownup things lasts,” he rapped on the coffee table for good measure. “I’ve got ya, mate, not to worry. You just bring me back some fancy chocolates and we’ll call it even.”

This was a good plan.

The whole sharing memories thing didn't worry Nick either. What would Talos see that he hadn't already? Nothing.

Huge leap of faith was already done. By now, it was going to be routine. And this would free up a lot of Nick's time ...

"On second thought, I'll bring Nat with me. She needs a break, and let's be real. I was being generous with the hour." Nick finished his beer and reached for another, lifting it up in toast. "I'm really pleased to see you, Talos. I am. I think shit just got real here, and we're going to have a blast scaring Sam together. He's already shitless in front of me -- I can't imagine what he'll do if there's two of us."

Hey, Fury could bring whomever he wanted - Talos just wanted him to have a good time. He worked hard, and sometimes you had to add in a little play so you didn’t go absolutely insane. “Here’s to well-earned vacations, and scaring Carol’s suitor shitless,” he grinned maniacally, and clinked his bottle against his best pal’s.

Oh yes. If he had free reign to scare someone outta their pants, you can bet he was going to go balls off the walls with that little assignment.