InsaneJournal

Who: Mr. and Mrs Stark
What: unconventional wedding vows.
When: badkdated, June 1st
Rating: Green


The inside of St. Patrick's Cathedral was filled to capacity with guests. The wedding commenced and it was impossible to keep track of anything being said, since Tony's eyes were on Pepper the second she was walking down the aisle toward him.

He also wasn't into the whole religiously organized thing. So that didn't help matters.
But Pep wanted the big church wedding and it's not like they couldn't afford it. The thought of which was enough rebound guilt that he would make a large charitable donation in the next five days.

Sometime after the preaching happened, it finally occurred to him that it was strangely quiet, and a quick glance at his surroundings confirmed that Pepper wasn't the only one looking amused but expectant.

"...the vows," he heard someone mutter to him, which had him parting his pockets for the note cards.

"Got it. Got it." He winked at Pepper as he took out the vows he wrote while trying to stick to the cards. He coughed to clear his throat at least five times before saying a little too loudly, "I remember the first time I saw Virginia Potts, and I knew she was the most capable woman I would ever meet. I hired her the next day, because not only did she act unimpressed with me, but she wore the most fantastically work inappropriate footwear I've ever seen.

"You've been by my side whenever I needed you, and you knew when not to be by my side because I needed slapped with a clue stick. No one could ever put up with me the way you have. That's why I just want you to know...." He ahemed. "...that I long to see the sunlight in your hair, and tell you time and time again how much I care. Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow. Hello, I've just got to let you know. 'Cause I wonder where you are, and I wonder what you do. Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you....

"...that would be me. General eff-why-eye, it's me. I'm doing the loving here. Don't any of you get any ideas," he told those sitting in the church that, before anxiously shuffling the cards to continue his recitation of a Lionel Richie classic. Also about stalkers. Of blind women.

Still better than The Police's Every Breath You Take.

Pepper had been pretty sure something would keep the wedding from happening. Something always did. And yet this morning, after getting Morgan fed, changed and passed off to Happy, she was helped into the Vera Wang wedding gown...and was pleasantly surprised to learn that she had, in fact, regained her pre-pregnancy waist.

It all seemed to go so fast. Everything was a blur. Later, she’d remember every moment, but right now her mind came to a screeching halt as it came time for their vows. Tony’s blunder was so typically him it brought a fond smile to her face. The fact that he didn’t pick AC/DC lyrics was amusing, but Lionel Richie? She hadn’t know Tony who that was. But it was very sweet. In a Tony kind of way.

The look in her eyes should have been a big warning that she was up to something. It was her turn for her vows.

“When you smile I see stars in the sky/When you smile I see sunrise/And I know you've been thinking of me/And I know how you want it to be.” He hadn’t chosen AC/DC lyrics, but she did. Pepper grinned but went on.

“You have been the...BIGGEST...pain in my ass for most of my professional life,” she led with that, of course. “Now I am committing the rest of my life to you being the biggest pain in my ass, but I wouldn’t want anything else. All that I have done for your company, I will do for you. From now until the sun burns out.” Her eyes became a little extra shiny. “I love you.”

"I promise to be the biggest perpetual pain in your ass ever," Tony blurted out, looking like he was blinking back tears. He was incredibly in love with this woman. Not only for quoting AC/DC as part of their wedding vows (and he was trying to keep it semi-classy by using lyrics from one of the most hilariously creepy music videos ever), but because Pepper was everything to him. Case in point?

"I love you so much. No one could ever pick the glass out of my pickles like you do, after yelling at me not to eat it because I opened the jar using the suit. Or tell me not to wear certain shoes with those pants. Or bash an explosive bad guy with a pipe while you looked super hot. Literally and figuratively. I think you've killed more bad guys than I have. You're like Supernaut, personified. Original version and the nineties remake. Whatever you're going to say? Hold that thought. You've got incoming."

The groom abruptly moved in and kissed the bride, while the priest shook his head and raised both hands up in defeat.

Pepper shook her head at his list of her accomplishments. She really hated it when he brought all that up, but she knew better than to think he’d ever stop. The fighting bad guys wasn’t her thing. She much preferred to be in the background, running comms or something. Or just being a working mom. That sounded better.

Her amusement multiplied when Tony decided the ceremony had reached an end. They hadn’t exactly gotten to exchanging their rings, but she’d wait until he was done kissing her to remind him.

“Ton-mm.” Pepper tried to pull back and failed. “Tony…” this time she laughed which made it difficult to kiss her. “Do you want your wedding ring or what?”

"...shit." Tony held out one hand and flapped it around for whichever of his best men had the ring. "Whoever's got the bling, I need that pronto. Just being in here is like inviting me to spontaneously combust."

The priest began pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head.

Once Pep's ring was handed over, he held out his other hand and wriggled his ring finger.

"Come and get it, honey. No refunds. Not even on that prenup our lawyers made us sign even if we didn't want to."

It's not like they needed it. Tony would let her have everything anyway. But the chances of them divorcing, ever, was nil, considering the way he was staring at her with a beaming smile on his face.

"Do we trade at the same time or what?" he asked her. "I ditched out on the last hundred wedding invites since I had things to do."

Like building suits in the garage. In recognition of that fact, someone in the back row coughed loudly in a way that sounded like "bullshit!"

"...I did not just hear that," Tony mumbled under his breath to her, through his teeth as he smiled a little too hard. "Is it too late to dis-invite whoever that is? I think they're sitting on your side."

Pepper laughed at her new husband being himself. Being manic. “Give me that,” she said as she caught his hand. A vibranium band with a small sliver of palladium set into it was slid onto Tony’s left ring finger. “So you always have proof that you do have a heart.” She looked him in the eyes with a knowing smirk on her face and winked at him.

Then she held her hand out to him.

Tony winked back at her with a knowing smirk of his own. Pepper would know he had a heart before anyone else did, because she was the only one who ever saw him vulnerable and not mouthing off like a sarcastic ass. A fact he wasn't actually trying to do right now.

With her ring now in hand, he held up the Harry Windstone ring and slipped it on her ring finger.

"I know it's not made of actual stars," he said, rolling his eyes like that was obvious. "I'll work on simulating something that might maybe be bright enough to rival my one thing that I can't live without. Which is you. It's always you. Until I hop on that project? Here's your I owe you."

He was moving in for another kiss when the priest held up both hands, trying not to laugh.

"Uh uh uh!" the elderly man interjected. "By the power vested in me, I now declare you man and wife." There was a brief pause where he glanced at Pepper like she was going to need all the help in Heaven and Earth from here on out. "NOW you may kiss the bride."

"...yay!" Tony said, in a teeny tiny but triumphant voice. He instantly kissed her, both arms encircling Pepper's waist.

As for how long that lasted? He couldn't tell.

Time always seemed to stand still whenever their lips collided.