Who: Bobbi, Spidey, Tony, with Justin Hammer (npc) What: Interrogation at Seagate Penitentiary. When: recently, sometime in May Rating: Green
Tony strolled into the meeting room at Seagate Penitentiary with Spider-man at his side. The kid was costumed up before they even left on the quintjet for Georgia. Tony decided to take the young Avenger along so they could see if they got any lie-detector pings off the spidey senses with Hammer.
There were delays, of course. The prerequisite signing forms was followed by signing autographs, and then getting Justin Hammer from his cell into the conference room took time. Tony almost expected that the meeting wasn't going to take as long as it did just getting inside.
In Tony's ear was a SHIELD issue bluetooth device. His backup had backup, in the form of hot bikini agent, Bobbi Morse, listening in for the time being, to keep things cool. If they needed busted out or for her to scramble the cameras and listening devices, she was their girl. She was also the spy that Bruce Banner was flirt resistant to. Travesty.
It was safe to say by the seemingly idle chit chat that Tony was already agitated. Not only was Hammer involved in developing Chitauri tech weapons used on some of the Avengers last year, but those weapons were being traded on overseas black markets. As it was, he already had the to lunge across a table and give Hammer a mouthful of bloody chicklets for nearly getting Pepper killed.
"...anyway, that's when I told Happy to stop turning onto Fifth from that direction, since all he does is yell at the traffic. I'm starting to think he likes yelling."
Tony stopped talking long enough to sit down, patting a hand on the arm of the chair next to him as a hint for the very disguised Peter to sit down.
"I gotta an idea," he was saying while drumming his hands on the table top. "I vote we hit Five Guys or Shake Shack after this. I'm over the whole gluten free thing. That's last month. New me is jogging off carbs and eating cheese again. I'm gonna have to invent new ways to irritate Star-lord with lunch orders when he's hungover."
Tony was a good boss that way.
"I mean, to be fair, New York traffic sucks. I wouldn't want his job."
Peter was rocking on his heels before he took a seat, feeling a little pent-up from the plane ride. He'd spent most of it hanging upside-down and reading his physics textbook - weirdly the only way he could seem to focus - while occasionally giving Agent Morse a paranoid look or two. Bobbi was new to him and gave off the aura of a total badass, so that alone had him jittery. He’d introduced himself earlier as Spider-man, but Peter knew that even with the mask on there was no hiding he was just a teenager.
A teenager who was way too excited about the prospect of food after. "Shake Shack hands down. Come back to the dark side, Mr. Stark."
Peter gave a thumbs up to a guard who poked his head in the door and received a weird look in return. Georgia wasn't exactly conditioned to Spider-man like New York was. "...Hey, should I use interrogation mode for this? In case I gotta say something?" That was a joke. Mostly.
A door opened and Justin Hammer was led in wearing a prison jumpsuit. He sat down with a leering smile as the handcuffs were shackled down to the tabletop.
"Great to see you again, Anthony. It's great. And you brought a friend," Hammer said, sounding very much like a used car salesman. "Spider-Man. Wow. Good to meet you. Real honor. How's the new baby? All over the news. Guess Pepper's doing ok after that little thing that happened at the Expo. Just, wow. Technology. Sometimes you can't predict when a chain reaction of explosive malfunctions are gonna happen, huh? She didn't need to get personal about it. Now I gotta work toward parole..."
Tony's eyes were locked on target, slightly bulging as he stared at Hammer across the table. There was a long, tense moment of silence where Tony looked ready to lunge and punch.
"Do they still make Chiclets?" he said suddenly. "Because I'm itching to offer someone a fistful of Chiclets right now. We've got some questions. I'm going to let my lawyer ask those so things are kept on the record. She should be here any second now. Walking through the door."
Tony had the weapons schematics on his phone for a good time to bring them up if needed and Spider-son there as trusted backup and lie detector. But he and Bobbi worked out a secret backup plan where she posed as his lawyer. Why? Because Tony Stark always had a soft spot for secret agents showing up in new universes while wearing a bikini.
Making Spider-kid twitchy just by smiling at him had been fun. Bobbi was going to have to toy with that more when she wasn’t working. Other things were more important at the moment. And speaking of which, she heard her cue over the com link. Bobbi smoothed a hand over her way too short pencil skirt then opened the door.
Stiletto heels clicked against the tile floor. Blonde hair had been pulled back into a stylish ponytail. Legs that went on for days strolled her toward the table. She hadn’t been dressed like this in the quinjet, and she couldn’t help sneaking a glance at Spider-lad before she smiled to the men at the table.
“Boys,” she said as she stopped but did not sit. “Did somebody say my name?
"Hi, my lawyer," Tony said with a smirk. "This is my lawyer. Mrs..."
"When my personal assets get defrosted by Uncle Sam, I'll pay you five times what he does," Hammer interrupted, openly oogling. "Six times that if I can call you Sweetheart, hehehe."
"Whoa. This?" Tony turned to Spidey, sounding like a sarcastic TV dad giving a public service announcement as he wagged a hand around. "Is what a future sexual harassment lawsuit really looks like."
“Miss,” she corrected Tony with a sweet smile. Oh yeah. She was good at undercover work. She had passed for high ranking HYDRA after all. “Miss Hunter.” Sometimes her ex’s name came in handy. She missed Lance, but she was glad he wasn’t here. This place would have driven him batty.
She tilted her head at Hammer, that smile remaining in place. “It’s also called bribery. If you’re looking to add more time to your sentence then by all means…” she placed a small recording device on the table, “...please continue.”
Peter was trying to narrow his focus on the things he couldn’t see - the invisible strings that tugged at his sixth sense - but Hammer was such a creep he felt his attention briefly scatter. He felt slimy just from listening to him. “Gross, dude. Grosser than your epic fail of an expo.”
He couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t web the guy’s mouth shut if he objectified Agent Morse again (so not cool), but Peter was a little more concerned he’d have to hold Mr. Stark back from lunging across the table before any of that happened.
"Hey. The Expo was awesome until Cadillac Man over here went and effed it up by hiring Comrade Psycho," Tony protested, at peak sarcasm.
It was Hammer's turn to take offence, scoffing loudly.
"Please. You should be thanking me. I unknowingly produced a fireworks finale to an otherwise snooze worthy event." He then leered in Bobbi's direction. "Pity you didn't bring Pepper, Anthony. I'll settle for second best. What're you here for, sweetheart? Guessing it's not for a conjugal visit."
Hammer mock pouted. It was a face that Justin Hammer's own mother would punch.
Speaking of, there was a profound moment of tense silence from where Tony was sitting. And then he suddenly lurched forward, the table between them the only thing stopping him just short of punching Hammer in the face. Frustrated due to the table being bolted down (so he couldn't flip it, and yes, he's trying), Tony sat back in his chair and looked at Hammer like he was trying to mentally will the other man's head to explode.
"All right. First, no. You don't talk to my lawyer like that. Second. See Spider-man here? He found some weapons some criminals were using. And we think you might know something about them. So my lawyer is here to ask questions, and Spider-man's here because he knows the people he got the weapons off of. And I'm here cos I know weapons better than you do, you hack."
"Until you decided to stop and I filled the niche you left behind," Hammer pointed out, looking at Bobbi again. "In case you guys didn't get the memo, I'm in jail." He paused, showboating, waiting to see if he had everyone's attention. "So I don't know squat and you can't pin more crap on me."
Oh SHE was going to ask the questions? Eek. Bobbi was a bit unprepared for that. She had thought she was just backup with a side of intimidation. Fortunately, SHIELD trained their agents how to wing it. So she gave it a shot.
It was difficult to say if her smile warmed or got chilly. Her eyes locked onto Hammer. “Bullshit,” she said as she leaned onto the table...giving Hammer a spectacular view down her blouse. “I’ve known cartel bosses who have continued to run their operations from within solitary confinement in a high security facility. So come on.” Bobbi straightened back up. “Tell us what you know.”
In what also might be an impending sexual lawsuit, Tony thought that throwing Bobbi in first would disarm a sleazy horn dog like Justin Hammer, and he was right. Hammer looked like his mind was boggled when the sexy lawyer switched to season pro in the blink of an eye. The smile was scary, even if the bod was hot.
Needless to say, Hammer couldn't stop staring at that tantalizing sneak peek at the boobage. Only he didn't seem sure if the piss was getting scared out of him, or if he was thirsty. Thirsty probably wasn't the greatest thing to bring up, considering pee was just mentioned. Even if it was a metaphor, here we are. Your brain can't unsee this.
"She's gotta good point," Tony said, looking over at Spider-man to see if he was going to get a thumbs up or a thumbs down if any heebie jeebies were felt on the spider radar. It was worth it to test out the kid's instincts on more than quick dodges. "It's not like he's got smart weapons with microchips, with research funded by the feds or anything. So what if some of it goes missing, falls into the wrong hands...you know, there was that whole thing about that Kingpen guy running his own mafia type thing from jail...."
Hammer tensed, even as he was doing a tennis match between Bobby's boobs and Bobbi's cold hard eyes. He could only look at the eyes for so long before it got too off putting, and his eyes went back down to the comfort of the bosom once more.
"Cartels? Nuh uh," Justin Hammer told them, almost stammering at this point. "You...uh...you can't prove nothing. So what if we were doing smart weapons? Who isn't? There's a chip in everything. Go talk to my temp in charge of the company."
Tony raised his eyebrows at Spidey, and gave Bobbi a shrug to keep going for now, while the worm was wiggling on the hook.
It was a good thing Peter had the mask on because or else Hammer would be looking at a very repulsed teenager, and that was hardly intimidating. All of his words raised red flags, some more than others. Cartels, nuh uh. Peter sat up a little straighter, the back of his neck prickling. He gestured with his hand beneath the table so only Tony could see, a signal to convey that Hammer was full of it.
“I mean, I’ve talked to the cartels.” Peter hadn’t, but that wasn’t the point here. “They had a lot to say about you, so…” Hammer seemed like the kind of guy who might want to spill the beans right back.
Bobbi had been coming up with ways to make Hammer talk that were less pleasant than giving him a free peep. They were growing steadily more painful...and more likely to blow her cover which would be bad because she was kind of growing fond of Miss Bobbi Hunter, Esquire. Then Pete chimed in, and Bobbi could just hug him!
“You don’t like the cartels, do you?” Bobbi put a little more silk in the tone of her voice as she shifted her weight over one hip. It made just a pleasant curve against that pencil skirt. “I’ll bet you probably pissed one or oh...seven...off at some point. And I’m willing to bet that there’s a standing order in this facility to put you into protective custody in case a cartel member gets placed here, but I have a secret.” There was that smile again, but her eyes went dead like a shark’s.
Once more she leaned on the table, but this time only to put herself closer to Hammer, not to distract him. She wanted his full attention as she lowered her voice. “I used to date one of the C.O.s in this place, and a D.A. owes me a favor. A quick leak of your location and I’ll bet I get incarcerated cartel members lining up for a transfer.” It wasn’t a real threat. She never actually said she’d do it OR ELSE. She just planted the idea and stood up to let Hammer’s imagination run with it.
Tony caught Peter's tip off and ran with what Bobbi was selling. He slapped a hand down on top of the table, and grinned with cruel glee when Hammer flinched.
"Wow, Justin. You really don't want to drop the soap in here, huh?"
It was plain to see that the former weapons manufacturer was sweating bullets. Pun intended. His brow was covered with beads of sweat and wide eyes were darting from Bobbi, to Tony, to Spider-man, and then back again in reverse order. If only his glasses were of the coke bottle variety, they'd look comically magnified. Sadly, they were not.
"All right! All right. Heh heh, let's not do that, ok?" He tried to hold up his hands in a gesture of surrender. The cuffs snagged metal on metal, and he winced at the reminder he was effectively in chains. "His name's Thomas Green. He used to work in weapons dev, funded by the government after that alien invasion. Look, I'm not involved. I've heard he took off with some of the weapon tech, wanted to go test it out or whatever, and then I guess he decided to go gun running."
Hammer leaned forward to emphasize a point, although he still seemed pretty twitchy about it.
"I'm not part of it. Got it? Not. Part. Of. It," he insisted, like he was part of something. "My guys were on him, trying to get back everything he ripped off. Tommy boy's got a major grudge with Wakanda. A lot of people are pissed off that they can't get in on that sweet vibranium market that Wakanda's cornered. Started selling weapons to some sketchy groups, ex HYDRA, that sort of thing, and to a lot of poorer countries around Wakanda.
"My interim CEO was going to fire him for starting an anti-Wakanda hate group on Facebook. Ripped us off and bolted before it happened. Got wrapped up in some of those superpowered fight club rings. Good way to move weapons, good way to do weapons testing on people like the Avengers. No one asks questions. He's top research and dev, has government contacts, and he's looking for a way to start shit with Wakanda. So, duh? Find places where he can make weapons quietly and ship 'em out. He's pimping out gangs and upstart terrorist groups. And he's overseas. He's selling somewhere in the Middle East and around the Ukraine. If he's not selling, he's moving around Poland, England, or Canada. With my shit."
"...glad we all agree that Hammer Tech is shit," Tony stated, sitting back in his chair with his arms folded over himself.
He looked between Spider-man and Bobbi to see if they both seemed satisfied.
For as little experience Peter had with consciously using that sixth sense for a specific purpose like this one, the line between Hammer’s truths and lies was blatantly evident. As soon as the smarmy man broke and began to talk, Peter’s tingle of unease lessened until it leveled out into silence. He glanced over at Tony and offered a thumbs up beneath the table - they might just have something to work with here.
Tony peeked over and then put his hand under the table a little bit, giving Bobbi a discreet thumbs up. He passed it on, to let her know it looked like they got what they needed. Once he got a nod from Bobbi, he stood up and gave Peter a pat on the shoulder.
"Ok, thanks for those beans you just spilled," Tony said with a bright smile. "And good luck. I'll send you one of those Hillshire Farms summer sausage gift baskets. You can share it with your cell block buddies."
"Waitaminute," Justin said, his voice rising up and the cuffs rattling against the restraints, "are you guys gonna keep the cartels off me? Hey! HEY! Hello? Cartels?"
"If this checks out, maybe. Otherwise? Good luck with that," Tony said with a wink as he closed the door.
Bobbi was going to type out and hit send on that intel, popping it over to Fury, and they had an after work party waiting at a Shake Shack.