A place to allow anyone to post anything that randomly passes through their heads

11:38pm 03/12/2008

mood:

drunk

music: happy?

i often wonder about the nature of reality..i wonder if like that buddist
line i am merely a butterfly having a really really strange dream..but i think thats wishfull thinking
i want it to be someone else's life a dream a nightmare..because i dont like my life much
its old and worn out its a disappointment an embarrasment,
i wish it were just some phantom staring out from a screen
walking floating about in the wind and snow..
people stare at me they scowl, if they are real,
if i'm not imagining it
my existance meets with their disapproval
especially after a few drinks when i sing too loud
i'm aqualung
mothers grab their children
young women scowl at me as if they know what i'm thinking without me saying a word
so i try not to look at anyone..
i wish i WAS a butterfly having a very strange dream
then i wouldnt have to worry about the rent
and my harddrive
and that strange noise the refrigerator keeps making
my thoughts are not poems
they are cries they are moans..
reminding me how disappointing it all is
iF i were a butterfly i would not have to say i'm sorry for any of it..
if its not real will you please wake me up?
i dont use my own words because they are too painfull
they hurt
my life is not a poem
my thoughts are not poetry
they are cries they are moans they are screams
i'd rather listen to my i pod and drink lucid..

11:32pm 03/12/2008

there are no orignal words...its all been said

y'know i bet its that lsd i did in 81 coming back to haunt me..

08:52pm 03/12/2008

mood:

lucid

music: whiter shade of pale

We skipped the light fandango
Turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kind of seasick
The crowd called out for more
And the room was hummin' harder
As the ceiling flew away
And when we called outfor another drink
But the waiter brought a tray

And so it was later
As the miller told his tale
That her face at first just ghostly
Turned a whiter shade of pale.

You said: "There is no reason,
And the truth is plain to see."
But I wander through my playin' cards
Would not let him be
One of the sixteen virgins
Who were leaving for the coast
And although my eyes were open
They might just as well been closed

And so it was later
As the miller told his tale
That her face at first just ghostly
Turned a whiter shade of pale.
A whiter shade of pale
Turned a whiter shade of pale
A whiter shade of pale

You don't know what I feel

08:32pm 03/12/2008

mood:

i cant feel my soul

music: You don't know what I feel

How many times do I have to try to tell you
That I'm sorry for the things I've done
But when I start to try to tell you
That's when you have to tell me
Hey...this kind of trouble's only just begun
I tell myself too many times
Why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut
That's why it hurts so bad to hear the words
That keep on falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Tell me...
Why
Why

I may be mad
I may be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you're thinking
And I've heard it said too many times
That you'd be better off
Besides...
Why can't you see this boat is sinking
(This boat is sinking this boat is sinking)
Let's go down to the water's edge
And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out turning inside out
Tell me...
Why
Tell me...
Why

This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I'll never tread
These are the dreams I'll dream instead
This is the joy that's seldom spread
These are the tears...
The tears we shed
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent
And this is how I feel
Do you know how I feel?
'Cause I don't think you know how I feel
I don't think you know what I feel
I don't think you know what I feel
You don't know what I feel

be happy...

08:09pm 03/12/2008

mood:

barely made it home

music: bobby mcfarren dont worry be happy

Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry, be happy.
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy.
Don't worry, be happy now.

CHORUS: Don't worry, be happy. Don't worry, be happy.
Don't worry, be happy. Don't worry, be happy.

Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry, be happy.
The landlord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry, be happy.

CHORUS: (Look at me -- I'm happy. Don't worry, be happy.
Here I give you my phone number. When you worry, call me,
I make you happy. Don't worry, be happy.)

Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ain't got no gal to make you smile
Don't worry, be happy.
'Cause when you worry your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
Don't worry, be happy.

CHORUS: (Don't worry, don't worry, don't do it.
Be happy. Put a smile on your face.
Don't bring everybody down.
Don't worry. It will soon pass, whatever it is.
Don't worry, be happy.
I'm not worried, I'm happy...)

http://www.drinklucid.com/lucid_flash.cfm

Stick this in your pipe and enjoy the cool crisp blend of Mt. Dew and Marlboro Smooths.

05:46pm 03/12/2008

Twas the 3rd of December
And for 24 hours
Not a person had posted
in this place that is ours

The boards, they were littered
With sorrys, and excuses
With silence taken over
The voices of muses

The mods were all busy
With their rules and time changes
With applications and tags,
Problems of all ranges

The players all stuffed
With their gravy and turkey,
With holiday worries
Making them all quirky

Or bedridden with illness
Fighting sniffles and flus
With their coughing and retching
And tearful boo hoo's (sorry, it felt too Dr. Seuss not to do.)

And where were the healthy?
Why it's finals time!
With their noses in books
To be at their prime

And the workers all working
As Christmas time approaches
All this commercialization
On sanity encroaches

And the projects need doing
The books all need keeping
The bonuses signing
The kids they are weeping

For this and for that
And for some other thing
Why it's surely no season
For anyone to sing

Or to post, and so now
Understandably so
All you people are missing
And I too must go.

C'est pas à toi, non de dieu, à me parler de révolution.-Memorable quotes for Giù la testa (1971)

08:12pm 29/11/2008

music: Giù la testa (1971)

I know what I am talking about when I am talking about the revolutions. The people who read the books go to the people who can't read the books, the poor people, and say, "We have to have a change." So, the poor people make the change, ah? And then, the people who read the books, they all sit around the big polished tables, and they talk and talk and talk and eat and eat and eat, eh? But what has happened to the poor people? They're dead! That's your revolution. Shhh... So, please, don't tell me about revolutions! And what happens afterwards? The same fucking thing starts all over again!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Fistful_of_Dynamite

Whose woods these are I think I know.

04:53pm 28/11/2008

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

I think all the heretics I have known have been virtuous men

12:37pm 28/11/2008

I think all the heretics I have known have been virtuous men. They have the virtue of fortitude or they would not venture to own their heresy; and they cannot afford to be deficient in any of the other virtues, as that would give advantage to their many enemies; and they have not like orthodox sinners, such a number of friends to excuse or justify them. Do not, however mistake me. It is not to my good friend's heresy that I impute his honesty. On the contrary, 'tis his honesty that has brought upon him the character of heretic.
Letter to Benjamin Vaughan (1788-10-24)

Tonight Im gonna have myself a real good time

12:25pm 28/11/2008

music: queen 1978 dont stop me now

Tonight Im gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world turning inside out yeah!
And floating around in ecstasy
So dont stop me now dont stop me
cause Im having a good time having a good time

Im a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
Im a racing car passing by like lady godiva
Im gonna go go go
Theres no stopping me

Im burning through the sky yeah!
Two hundred degrees
Thats why they call me mister fahrenheit
Im travling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

Dont stop me now Im having such a good time
Im having a ball dont stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Dont stop me now (cause Im havin a good time)
Dont stop me now (yes Im havin a good time)
I dont want to stop at all

Im a rocket ship on my way to mars
On a collision course
I am a satellite Im out of control
I am a sex machine ready to reload
Like an atom bomb about to
Oh oh oh oh oh explode

Im burning through the sky yeah!
Two hundred degrees
Thats why they call me mister fahrenheit
Im travling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic woman of you

Dont stop me dont stop me
Dont stop me hey hey hey!
Dont stop me dont stop me ooh ooh ooh (I like it)
Dont stop me dont stop me
Have a good time good time
Dont stop me dont stop me ah

Im burning through the sky yeah!
Two hundred degrees
Thats why they call me mister fahrenheit
Im travling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

Dont stop me now Im having such a good time
Im having a ball dont stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Dont stop me now (cause Im havin a good time)
Dont stop me now (yes Im havin a good time)

Out where the river broke

09:29pm 25/11/2008

mood: psYcho drunk

music: midnight oil

Out where the river broke
The bloodwood and the desert oak
Holden wrecks and boiling diesels
Steam in forty five degrees

The time has come
To say fairs fair
To pay the rent
To pay our share
The time has come
A facts a fact
It belongs to them
Lets give it back

How can we dance when our earth is turning
How do we sleep when our beds are burning

Four wheels scare the cockatoos
From kintore east to yuendemu
The western desert lives and breathes
In forty five degrees

(live - on scream in blue
The time has come
A facts a fact
It belongs to us all
Lets give it back)

NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS DRUNK

08:21pm 25/11/2008

mood: no one has ever been this drun

music: boy george

Give me time
To realise my crime
Let me love and steal
I have danced
Inside your eyes
How can I be real?
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Precious kisses, words that burn me
Lovers never ask you why
In my heart the fire's burning
Choose my colour, find a star
Precious people always tell me
That's a step, a step too far
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Words are few I have spoken
I could waste a thousand years
Wrapped in sorrow, words are token
Come inside and catch my tears
You've been talking but believe me
If it's true you do not know
That this boy loves without a reason
I'm prepared to let you go
If it's love you want from me
Then take it away
Everything's not what you see
It's over again
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Do you really want to hurt meDo you really want to make me cry
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry
Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry...

Caffeine makes me happy

05:55pm 24/11/2008

Whee!!!!

I thought I should post something since it's been a while. But life has been hectic and I've become addicted to Fallout three and simultaneously playing a character trying to save post-nuclear Washington D.C. and destroy it. Quite entertaining.

Now then, since I can't focus on my key-board anymore I'm going to leave it at that. Give me time and something will come. You can't rush chaos you know.

10:16pm 23/11/2008

SO SAY GOODNIGHT TO THE BADGUY...

i can't feel my nose - and i love you..

11:38pm 22/11/2008

mood: i cant feel my nose

music: beatles fool on the hill

Day after day alone on the hill,
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still,
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see that he's just a fool,
And he never gives an answer,
But the fool on the hill
Sees the sun going down,
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

Well on his way his head in a cloud,
The man of a thousand voices talking perfectly loud
But nobody ever hears him,
Or the sound he appears to make,
And he never seems to notice,
But the fool on the hill . . .
Nobody seems to like him
They can tell what he wants to do.
And he never shows his feelings,
But the fool on the hill . . .

http://www.drinklucid.com/lucid_flash.cfm

Let it Be

11:08pm 22/11/2008

mood:

blasted beyond redemption

music: beatles let it be

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blessed_Virgin_Mary

religion

01:54pm 19/11/2008

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion--several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven....The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste.
- "The Lowest Animal"

jabberwocky

02:06am 14/11/2008

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

02:29am 13/11/2008

Given enough time, all ordered things descend into chaos.

This is the law of atrophy.

Such has my life become. As it should be.

But not chaotic enough to inspire thought yet.

In time.

12:54am 13/11/2008

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil, Aphorism 146
German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

	atrophicthought
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