InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Wanna share my umbrella?"

"Wanda, dear? Are you there?" Nicole's hand waved in front of Wanda's eyes, bringing her attention back to the present. "Earth to Wanda..."

Wanda blinked a few times then looked up to see her friend standing right in front of her. Her head shook, zapping herself out of the zone she'd fallen into for who knew how long.

"Sorry," she smiled and tried to wave off any questions. She noticed the odd look of concern on her friend's face. Something between genuine concern and curiosity. "I haven't been sleeping well the last few nights, so I guess it's getting to me." She let out a light laugh that ended in a sigh. "I'm not sure where I went there for a few minutes."

"Honey, I think you need a morning cocktail to loosen up that brain of yours," Nicole laughed off, but the idea made Wanda frown.

"That's probably the last thing I need. Who knows what I'll do then. Maybe walk off the ship and float out into space," she said, trying to play off her own worry but knew it didn't hit as well as she'd like.

"Oh, come on, go take a rest by the pool, and I'll have a tray of something sent down by one of those cute deck hands. You'll feel better in no time."

Even if Nicole's fussing was all with what Wanda assumed was good intentions, something about the way she pushed didn't sit exactly right. She shook her head and stifled a half-fake yawn. "Honestly, I think I might just need to take a nap. Jonas and I did so much on Edenia while we were docked, I might've overdone it on top of the lack of good sleep."

There were dreams. Dreams Wanda never remembered when she woke up, but ones she felt she should remember. Ones that felt more real than even her waking hours and left a sense of dread at what might come next.

"You poor thing," Nicole said and rubbed Wanda's shoulder. "Yes, you go get some rest and I'll send a nice treat to your room for when you wake up."

Knowing better than to argue the point, Wanda gave a wary smile and nodded. "Thanks. I'm sure I'll feel better once I get some rest."

"That's right, sweetie. Then you'll be ready and roaring to go for a full afternoon of fun."

Wanda only half-smiled before turning away and made her headed towards her and Jonas' room. If one thing was for sure, Nicole certainly did everything she could to keep Wanda busy and occupied during the cruise. Always a new place to try out or an event or excursion to keep her busy. It was no wonder she was so tired lately.

If she was honest with herself, Wanda hadn't felt right for longer than a few days; the feeling had just grown more lately. She mentioned it once or twice to Jonas, but she didn't want to worry him and left it alone. The more it kept on, though, the more restless and worried she became that something really was wrong. What bothered her the most was not being able to remember much from the dreams. Small pieces came and went, almost as if she was living a completely different life when she was awake.

At some point while she slept, Jonas came in and slipped into bed next to her, then a while later, Wanda woke up with a flash of such intense and vivid red and black, and everything felt different. Everything felt wrong.

She was wrong. The ship was wrong. This cruise was wrong. Everything she thought about herself was wrong, but worst of all? The man sleeping next to her was wrong.

Oliver.

Hand over her mouth, Wanda crept out of bed silently and went to the bathroom, leaning against the counter. Her hand still covered her mouth as if holding in the scream that threatened to build up and release. Little by little, but still far too fast, she remembered more and more. The pull to the life she'd lived these weeks was there, strongly, but Wanda knew it wasn't real. She knew none of it was real, but more importantly, she knew why.

This was her. She couldn't quite remember the important how or why, but this... all of this was her. She remembered everything of Westview; of Vision, Tommy, and Billy. She remembered taking down the hex there which meant she could do it here too. She'd fix it, and no one would have to know. It wouldn't be like before.

Even though constructed memories of this new life were tucked away in her mind, she remembered the feeling of safety. Of seeing Oliver sleeping in the bed and knowing everything was alright and as it should be. The first real memory of whatever this was was nothing more than a feeling of contentment and safety.

Hands stretched out by her sides, Wanda called upon her magic as much as she could, willing herself to change everything back. If it started in this room, she could finish it here too. The magic wasn't gone, but it wasn't as powerful as it should be as if she couldn't quite reach her true potential. Red swirls sparked from her hands and flashes of another ship in another lifetime flickered in and out. The sink and mirror turned into a desk and pictures on a wall. The bathroom door into a heavy, metal door, yet none of it stayed in place for more than a second or two at most before turning back into the cruise ship housing.

Why leave this life? An inner voice asked her. You have everything you could ever want. You're safe here..

Wanda's eyes closed shut. She couldn't do this.

Quickly pulling herself together, Wanda wrote a quick note to Jonas— to Oliver, telling him she had to step out but would be back soon. Unless she found a way to reverse everything... if she decided to reverse everything.

Not really knowing where she was going, she ended up walking through various parts of the ship and taking in all of the changes. From the restaurants to the areas to relax to the entertainment, everything was so different. Wrong. Everything was so wrong.

You're safe here. No one will ever bother you or take what's yours again.

In the back of her mind, Wanda knew it was all a lie. If the new memories of home taught her anything, it was that she was never given the chance to hold onto what was hers.