rose tyler (ex_rosetyler358) wrote in aternaville, |
The trembling was something she was wholly and completely ashamed of, something that she would have done her complete and utter best to hide from him, because the last thing she wanted to show him - or anyone - was any telltale sign of weakness. Rose had been through and seen so much, there was so much that she had endured and now to think that she was caving inward to the downfall of tears across her face, it was almost humiliating. And she hated herself for it, detested everything about that part of her which was still completely and utterly human, not simply in mannerism and nature but in being. And what did you think you were? Somehow invulnerable? Did you really think that being in the presence of aliens and Time Lords and all of those things no one else would ever believe somehow made you greater? More powerful? You're nowhere near what you think you are, Rose Tyler, you're still human. A human girl. Nothing more.
It was amazing how self depreciating a person's downfall could be in the confined walls of their own mind, with no other voices present to contradict. So much more dangerous than a room full of chaotic voices all screaming and vying for attention at once.
Swallowing on back a ragged, hard breath that might as well have been made of broken glass for all of the pain it felt in her throat, Rose took the moment in time to bow her head down and away, consequently obscuring her eyes from his line of sight. She didn't want him to see the tears, they were damnable and telltale, and she hated giving forth that kind of vulnerability. Hated showing it to him, even though it was, she knew, nothing with cause to really be ashamed of.
"No," she said quietly, "no, that isn't true and you and I both know it. I should have done something else. Anything else, that's why you left him with me, because I was supposed to make him better. But I didn't. I didn't.."