I know that this letter is past due and I’m positive that you don’t want it but I can’t stop myself from thinking that there’s something that I’m missing when you’re not here with me.
The first time I saw you, you were helping Chris move into our room and I was too shy to say anything to you; the memory is pretty vivid to me. You had on that awful green shirt and I thought that you were so hot but you were my roommate’s brother so I let it go because I knew that she was going to be my best friend. For a week I thought about asking her about you but was too proud to admit it. You were my new friend so I ran with that and expected to only see you when you came by to pick her up for vacation. It was going to be easy, that is, until I went to my first practice for the team and you were there. You looked perfect and when you smiled at me I thought I was going to throw up. You were always so nice it felt like no matter what happened to you, you would pick back up and move forward. You still do, and I like that about you.
Do you remember that time that I almost fell off my broom but you were there to help me get steady? I was so nervous that I couldn’t speak and it made me feel like the biggest idiot but you were there. That week was when you said that... You were the super hero to my damsel in distress. Shining armor, horse, shield, sword and all. Five days later we kissed for the first time and as crazy as it sounds, it changed everything. You changed everything. I know that it’s a lot to say because it was just two months ago but I loved that night and the way it felt when I was next to you. For the first time in a really long time it felt like everything was going great in my world. I was so happy with you.
I know that I messed up everything and I know that it’s too late but if I had the chance to take it all back I would. I would have made you talk to me when Kenzie was gone, I would have held you when you were sad. Drew, things would have been so different. I’m not going to shy around it because I learned my lesson about not telling you how I feel. If things were different I would have loved you. Maybe I still can but personally the thought of loving someone who will never love you back is just a waste of time. I don’t want to be one of those people who can’t get over someone but you’re hard to get over.
Maybe you’re just going to destroy this letter and if you do, I don’t blame you. What I did was unforgivable and childish. The words ‘I’m sorry’ don’t even match how my heart feels right now. Drew, I miss you. Sometimes I feel like my heart is your home and you just sleep in it when you want to. I’ll try to move on, you have my word, but if you catch me looking at you on the pitch or when we pass each other in class... Just ignore it. Chances are it’s just me hoping you’ll see me and want me again but after the other night, I just.. I know that. Nevermind.
I.. Don’t think I have anything else to say.
I miss you Drew. Please come back to your home in my heart, it’s so lonely in there when you’re not here. Even if you throw this away, please just tell me you got it. I promise I won’t bother you ever again if you want, I just had to get it out.