AMELIA: SAVE THE SECRET KEEPER, SAVE THE WORLD. (meliorate) wrote in ask_rose, @ 2008-06-14 10:52:00 |
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I've come across some bad luck recently or at least what I prefer to think of as bad luck. My older brother and parents died a week ago, throwing me into a spiral in which I've chosen to ponder the state of the world (although we all know that it's entirely fucked) and my current coordinates within it. Is there really any point? If so, what is the point? Will the world get better? Are we making the world better? Where is my brother - in heaven or is that all? When we bury him tomorrow will he just be gone forever in both body and mind? What will happen to me when I die? Will I always be alone? What will I eat for dinner tomorrow? I am on a need-to-know basis.
Next - while I love my job, or at least most of my coworkers, I'm not sure I'm willing enough to keep my mouth shut to take the constant criticism of stupid Prophet writers who seem to think that, while they cannot do our jobs better than us, we still aren't doing our jobs well enough. And then when my brother killed a man in self-defense, everyone thought I wouldn't do my job with an omission of objectivity. Which is not true - I just know him well enough to know that the situation must have required it.
And it's not my fault that I am sometimes the bearer of bad news. No one is excited about the curfews and I'll include myself in that group - who feels like takeaway before 8p? I thought the purpose of takeaway was so that you could, while feeling lazy and not wanting to move from your couch, order a meal at midnight or so. Regardless, I am human too and I hate this new rule. And I don't have the answers as I am epically flustered as of late.
Finally, I'm interested in a man who is much older than I am. Actually, that's not even the issue - he is my boss, which complicates matters a bit. I'm not sure if either of us is capable of carrying on a relationship or...whatever, but I think that he feels similarly (if I have any ability to read people at all), yet I'm not convinced that he even has the energy to pursue anything that isn't his work. I'm not sure if we would even be good for each other. But, should anything happen in the near future, would it be in poor taste considering the very, very recent passing of the majority of my family?
Also, how does one learn to cook? I only know how to make coffee, sandwiches and biscuits but I'd like to make a real dinner. And what is a way to show that I care without showing everyone that I care? I'd rather not have our coworkers find out at this point because I will be ridiculously embarrassed if I am incorrect.
I am eagerly awaiting your reply.