Aedan Vael (takeathief) wrote in angellogs, @ 2017-05-12 22:13:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, !trigger warning, aedan vael, elthina vael, noah fon ronsenburg |
Who: Aedan, Ellie, Noah.
When:.Friday
Where: Craigcrook Castle, Edinburgh
What: Noah’s expecting to talk about discipline and his opinions on children. Instead, Aedan’s talking about his past, mostly.
Rating/Warnings: Discussion of consent, Aedan’s past, fears of violence Specific Trigger Warnings for issues in Aedan's childhood, including theft, gangs, forced prostitution, abuse, Aedan's Mum,
Status: Complete
Noah suggested they do this talk somewhere that’s not entirely a room. The idea being, he explained, that Aedan might feel more comfortable if he picked a location, and something like outside the stables, or the halls might not feel like a place as much as neutral ground. If that appealed to him. He suggested that Aedan could text Ellie as well, or have her on the phone if he wanted. That way - Aedan could have backup. If that appealed to him.
Aedan’s wondered a bit about how Ellie feels about all of this, and the phone option seems like the easiest idea to him. She’s currently not really doing much these days with people, still, even though they’ve all been talking ways to ease her into the world slowly. Aedan’s personally hoping that the yoga class suggestion, the one that involves him going too, gets shot down, but some of the others aren’t bad at all. So, instead, he’s got her ready to pop onto the speaker phone if they need it, but for now, he’s approaching Noah seriously, a little fidgety as he shows up, a little ink stuck to his fingers from where he was studying inside.
“Did I keep you? I actually tried not to.”
Noah shakes his head. “Trust me. It’s warm enough out I’d likely doze off in the sun if you were late. Or even if you weren’t. My brother was talking about perhaps calling Balthier later and dozing in the sun with a book. I hate to say how pleasant that sounds, but I think he might want privacy.” He leans against the wall and sips the mug he carried out. It is still steaming a little. “Is Ser Ellie listening in? I feel like I should say hi to her as well.”
“There’s no saying you couldn’t find some other sunny patch to doze in now, is there?” Aedan eyedarts a bit. “You needn’t run into anyone you didn’t want to,if you think about it. I’ve a few spots in mind that may work well for that sort of a thing.” As for what they were going to talk about, he’s a bit nervous and it’s with a little relief that he nods slowly.
“I’m here, Ser Noah.” Ellie answers. “Can just spot the window, in fact, but it seemed it might go overwhelming if I’d headed out, for one of us.” She’s noticed that she tends to amplify Aedan for whatever reason which makes her react worse and...it’s something some magical scholar may be interested in actually, but not for today.
“If you need us to stop for a while, let me know. Ditto for yourself, Ser Aedan.” Noah says. “Shall we get started? I am at your service.”
“Right” Aedan draws a deep breath then. “So, getting things started, you and Da...are..it’s cute, actually. You’re good for him, first off. I don’t want to interfere in...well any of that. Which probably looks a bit...suspect, considering.” He shifts a little, glancing at the ground where some of the early grass is poking up a little. “I mean the fact I’m usually...well. I figured it out last week, when I wound up locked up again.. I didn’t realize...it’s one thing when you think you want to be left alone.It’s another when it feels like you’re not going to exist soon.”
“You’re not going to exist?” Noah shifts to sit down, since this sounds like something more serious than something like - oh - ‘will you make dad buy new drapes?’ Or whatever they worry about in Starkhaven. “In the sense that - I’ll distract Sebastian away from worrying about you? Or -”
“Not worrying, not exactly…” Aedan pauses. “It...sorry, it’s..an odd thing, finding the words for this. I didn’t even know I WANTED him noticing some of this until the chance came up he might not. One of those back of my head...you’ve not done anything wrong.” he adds, wanting Noah to get that part clearly. “And I know that you wouldn’t ever on purpose but I’d thought...It’s getting harder again. I think that may be part of why. I’ve been here for...a year and a half or so as he knows. Easy to put aside with good distractions. And you’re...you SHOULD be the priority.”
Noah shakes his head. “Not in Archades? You’re younger than I am, for one, and you’re - not of age yet, right? Or is that different here?” He looks thoughtful though. “I don’t think you’re easy to put aside. Your sister was good company, and devious about getting me to buy some coffee cake for nostalgia reasons. And you, yourself, was good company. I’d miss talking to both of you, if you were strangers who happened to live near, and not related to the man I’m befriending.”
He sips his coffee trying to gather his words together. “I’ve got a question for you - but it can wait. Go on?”
“Technically I think that’s sixteen here, and I’m turning eighteen,” Aedan says, thinking about that. “It’s eighteen in the states, so almost over there too, but...I don’t know, It feels so childish to think about it this way. Better than having to explain why I hit another guard though, when I realize exactly why I’m feeling so…” he glances down at his fists. “It’s as though I’m angry, but it’s not specific.” He sighs, shaking his head here.
It’s sort of a cue for Ellie to try hopping in. A little, maybe. “You hated me when I got here.” She points out. “Half’s because of what I am, but the rest…” She clears her throat. “Don’t hate me more for saying it, but it’s a bit of a competition, seemingly, isn’t it? I don’t...Ser Noah, you wouldn’t DO that, but there’s no accounting for how FEELINGS work, just finding ways to repair them, right?”
“What might help with that?” Noah asks. “I know I felt abandoned when Basch left home, even though it was a wise idea for him at the time. Most of my coping mechanism involved trying to - think I was on the right path. Which had its own issues.”
He looks at Aedan. “And - anything’s the right answer to that. Even if it’s something like leave. Because - we’re dealing with feelings. They’re not rational. The source of a fear is it’s own lurking thing in the darkness. Knowing how to combat it can help it not seem so big.”
“I don’t think that’d do it, all things considered.” Aedan says, seriously. “Not when you haven’t done anything for that, and it seems it’d make things worse. I LIKE you, I trust you even, and that was all before… all of this. If it’d started like this? I may be saying otherwise right now.” He might as well be honest. “But it’s more like, I need some way to reconcile all of this, and make SURE that things don’t...Time’s probably the best way of making sure. I don’t want to have you suddenly dropping out of things, or anything, but…” he considers. “Maybe making sure, if Da’s on board, that there’s specific times for...that I’m not just suddenly clamoring to get noticed stupidly.”
Noah nods. “We could talk about it.” He tilts his head. “Your - mother is a sensitive subject, I take it? I notice neither you or Sebastian seem to discuss her. I don’t want to evoke painful memories. Would it help if you could carve out time with me as well? Specifically something where it felt like I wasn’t just there, but you had my attention?”
“I...that’d be mostly because he wouldn’t know much what to say, I’d suppose.” Aedan admits, and it’s actually weird, knowing Ellie’s on the line for this. She doesn’t exist yet as even a thought in his world, but having heard about that future, she WAS actually legitimate, and wanted and that’s...a bit of a sore spot too.
“There’s not so much to say about her, I don’t think i’ve ever actually...I told one person maybe. Sherr knows a bit. At the time he was the closest person to me when I had to get it out, after the friend I’d talked to about some of this turned up dead.” Aedan doesn’t like to think about the Fleur incident often, only that it was deeply messed up as he understands these things,and it’s impossible to know where to put the responsibility and…
“Think I just deflected in my head there, a bit, sorry.” Aedan pauses. “We...nobody knew I was on the way til my Da was long gone off to the chantry, and my mother was…” He shrugs. “I didn’t know much different, but we got into an all right gang, the best that’d have a babe in arms at the time, since I wasn’t worth much until they’d been able to train me up. I always got the idea there was...that I should be doing more. She’d started taking sick when I was...pretty young still, and when you stop being small enough to handle certain jobs, there’s others that start bordering on attractive seeming.”
“Occasionally, we’d pull out for a while, when she wanted us back on our feet away from any of the influences” Aedan sighs. “But then, with the way politicking goes and the new prince installed after the coup...the cleansing, they all tried to call it, it never got all that far. It’s…” he frowns. “There was a point where there wasn’t much I could do that’d help. You can guess what happened next, where I turned. Not a bad means of support, but there were debts to get paid off and two people couldn’t always do it. So, one of those cycles.” He waves a hand. “Get out of debt, stagger back in when a problem comes up….It wears on you. On her. She wasn’t always…” he bites his lip. “In the end, she worked things out, had a mage check on things once the tides of power turned and dropped me off when it was clear. That was...probably for the best, though it was a nasty shock for my da.”
Noah nods slowly. “My . . . mother was ill. Not in the same way, of course. We had a small house, and she had money from my father’s pension. The war wasn’t kind, but trying to say my experience was like yours would be like calling a splinter a log.” He frowns slightly. “I want to offer to put an arm around your shoulder, mostly because when we were younger, Basch tended to feel better for a hug. But - we have not negotiated something like that.”
And from what he’s seen of Aedan, the kid probably doesn’t want to get touched. “It sounds rough though. That crushing debt you can never escape, and the sort of - you can get lost in the day to day survival, but in the quiet of the night, things swoop back in. It’s probably why I still occasionally react like I would as a bodyguard. I was that for years, and only here for a little while.” He trails off. “Or as a prisoner, but that was days.”
“It’s funny. I’m not too sure how that’d go.” Aedan says, thinking out loud. “It’s...I’d probably not mind, but I don’t have enough experience with that in the platonic sense for it to be not...slightly weird most of the time.” Even with Sebastian, at first, there were times when they’d wondered how to go about the contact thing. It’d gotten a little easier, after the second time he’d run away and come back, during the whole debacle over his career choices which had sent him away for a few months and…
“Probably best not risked just yet.” He decides. “Though, yes, it’s...I don’t know that you ever figure out what way you’re going, and there’s times the wrong people are the ones who come along and it’s all you can do...I had to look out for us.” he explains, knowing Noah will get that of anyone, considering he’s the one who stayed with their mother. “Always the things creeping around, you know, until the latest changed the way I look at food, I actually had a ton of it hidden all over the place? I’d have to sneak down and make sure I could get at things, AND keep them hidden,and was terrified of anybody finding out. Which…” He trails off, since the inevitable HAS to be clear here.
“I was surprised, though, about all that came of him finding out was Da deciding that I needed one of those small fridges and some of the plastic containers that keep things from going all stale. I think that me would think *I* was ridiculous.” he makes a little face. “But...things that stick with you. I’ve got that.”
“When -” Noah trails off. He doesn’t want Ellie to hear this. He’ll just have to put up with that. “After the Republic of Landis fell, winter rolled in. Which was probably smart. You didn’t really attack Landis in winter, because the snow would get you if the people didn’t. Instead - the soldiers and the . . . the citizens were all in pretty bad shape. I took another winter to decide that I was going to join up. They were already asking, you know, because my mother had passed, and it was clear I wasn’t doing well. It was that or try to head toward some bigger town. There were a lot of people who were hungry when they got into the army.”
This - wasn’t something he wanted to discuss with Basch. It sounded like Basch blamed himself already for leaving, which was stupid. What was he, at seventeen, to do? Magically produce work for them and food? With interest in arresting him afoot? If Noah was smart, he would’ve moved their mother before winter rolled in, and gotten some kind of work to pass the time until winter, but instead he tried to stay at home as long as possible. Everyone kept offering him little jobs, but he couldn’t get any scribe work, and paying you with nothing was still nothing.
“Either way. I did the breaking up a fight because some idiot poked someone’s plate thing. More than once.” Noah hesitates. “On the - platonic thing . . . nothing would be happening without talking it out. You’ve got plenty of reason to find shadows unnerving, let alone the person attached to one. My brother was pretty -” He trails off. “Apparently you posted something that I didn’t see, and he could, and it worried him.”
“What’s...Oh. THAT.” Aedan nods slowly. “That was a bit after...Well, I’d kind of gotten into some trouble and I wasn’t sure if anybody’d notice.” He paused. “I might’ve said that and...didn’t want you to think it was about you.” Even though it definitely HAD been. “I’m...it’s stupid. I didn’t KNOW I needed that level of involvement. I’m not gonna come out and say it’s something I shouldn’t need, I’m not too sure what’s normal with stuff like this, but I’ve had, you know, two years. It isn’t long. Maybe I’m still MEANT to be ironing this out. Glad it’s with you.” he adds. “The last time, I mean I don’t know if he’s mentioned, or it’s weird to, but there was a doctor and it all sort of...I didn’t want it coming to the same ugly head with you coming down to help get me bailed out and having to deal with me being a spoiled shit all the way back.”
Noah nods slowly. “It’s - to be honest, I’d probably be very worried, and suggest you talk to a therapist, and fuss at you more than you wanted. You’d probably think I’m terrible and that I should soak my head sort of things.” He trails off. “The context I meant though is that - I didn’t see what happened? Basch did. And it involved your - friend? Damien, I think? A medic or something like that? Apparently Balthier met him.”
He pauses. “Prior to showing up here, Balthier was arrested in Nalbina’s dungeons by his father. Remember how we looked a mess? Basch was out of the place, and I had not seen the worst of it. From the talk of things, Balthier had. So you can imagine, Damien saying something to you, while you were drunk, and it sounding unnerving to Basch - how he’d worry? Apparently he went to some man named Fawkes and asked for reassurances that Balthier’s safe, and that’s the last I heard of things.”
“Quite possibly.” Aedan admits to that. “If you tried to force it, even if it WAS for the best. I’m none too great with the...suggestions that are more like demands.” That’s something Noah’s likely learned just from watching things by now. “One of those resisting some things just because…” He frowns. “It took a while for me to go back after they let me out of...I was away for treatment for a while. Court ordered and going back took a lot of thought. The few times Da tried forcing that didn’t go well for either of us.” He might as well be totally honest on that front.
“And...it’s probably why I can’t do...other things just yet, with the current one. I LIKE him, even, but…” Aedan shrugs a bit. “It feels more like I’m being forced. I’ve not done well with that since...ever. As for Basch and Damien bits, he’s raising an eyebrow, then.
“Oh. OH. That’s what all that’s been about. Jacob had mentioned things were a bit...tense around there when I was wondering about potential updates since I’m not likely to get out of here alone this weekend. Something to do with Damien coming on strong, which I’m not going to deny, he does. I’ve maybe encouraged it with me. Being upfront’s easier. I can see though where...all the negotiation bits...to go from that to being flirted at the way he…” Aedan slowly nods.
“I don’t much see the concern for anything else, happening.” He admits, “I mean, Damien WOULDN’T if you flat out said no. But if Balthier wasn’t feeling heard, and then your brother picked up on…” He stops there, frowning. “Fawkes is a good bet to sort things out. Bit of a bastard and a hardarse, which’ll have him at the bottom of things soon, if you ask me.”
It makes him feel safe, in a way, knowing the assassins have their rules they’re functioning under, and a leader who’ll enforce them. Doesn’t mean he won’t push hard, when he has to, or feels like he has to, but…
“Honestly the context in mine’s….you’d be annoyed if you knew the specifics probably. Or worse. And that’s part of all…” He starts, then shuts up quickly.”I don’t need to be annoying more people, or making them mad enough to strike out at me, you know? I just don’t like...My family’s already had the chance to have their go, but not all of them took it, so I’d be in shape enough to withstand it maybe, especially since nothing’s actually physical besides the fact I got sentenced to house arrest yet again, but that’d be…” he stops again. “Sorry, I’m not trying to influence a thing, I’d just prefer NOT convincing you to hit me when you hear the whole thing.”
“How about you ask me embarrassing questions about the negotiating thing instead?” Noah offers quietly. “I think your father’s in charge of whatever’s afoot. All Basch is worried about is that you’re happy and safe, so punching you would be an idiotic plan to help with that. And he wants Balthier to feel safe, and punching you won’t do a thing for that either.”
It’s - a bit unnerving to hear someone just bluntly mention that someone hadn’t hurt Aedan so someone else could. Noah doesn’t see that kind of physical violence as being a normal thing, here, (unlike Nalbina’s dungeons,) but that doesn’t mean Aedan’s talking about normal things involving here, versus his childhood.
“That’s the one more likely to do some good.” Aedan has to admit,nodding. “And aye, that’d be a bad time to punch somebody. It’d be more due to the whole resisting arrest, punching security officers sort of thing. One was a lass….ah a lady maybe a few years older than me. I’m told people frown on all that, old fashioned ones, and he IS a knight.” He might as well bluntly throw the rest of this out there. Not because he necessarily feels much safer, but gettng everything out now that it’s got started seems a way to go.
“But helping Balthier feel safer….I could maybe actually do something about that one.” Aedan doesn’t think talking to Damien is maybe the best of ideas, better let those in charge do that, but he CAN talk to Balthier, maybe give out some Damien advice, and the like.
“You’re probably scaring him.” Ellie says into the silence after Aedan speaks. “Don’t worry about...just because it’s not officially illegal doesn’t mean it’s something that happens all that much, Ser Noah. Violence is one of those things that’s...the official family line is that it’s crude as a way to solve your problems and we’re wanting to avoid it.” There’s a bit of a pause while she seems to be gathering her thoughts. “Just so you’re able to sleep tonight without imaging, I don’t know, the beatings continuing until morale improves.”
“Mostly I’m picturing that growing up on the streets in Starkhaven was miserable, to be honest. And that I should offer both of you lunch after this.” Noah tries, but his voice is a bit shaky. “It’s . . . thank you though. It’s good to know.” He wants to hug Aedan. Well, he can just survive not doing it. He can hug Basch when he gets back in, once he has permission. “It might not hurt to talk with Balthier. I think -” He trails off. “You might find him annoying.”
“You see -” Noah tries to think of how to describe things. “Balthier grew up - fairly rich? He was sort of a scientist mostly. Pilot. Glib and tended to banter with people. Which means if there was anything upsetting him, he tended to just - try to bluff his way around it. Or make quotes that kind of imply the things he doesn’t want to talk about while sounding like he’s just joking. Or just jokes in general.” That probably doesn’t make sense. “Picture . . . picture Iomhar, who decided to talk instead of picking up a sword? That’s the best analogy I can imagine.”
“We could do that,” Ellie muses, “Might be a good idea, you know,a little, well, downtime, aye? Something without the...issues floating round the place.” His voice IS shaky, and Aedan had looked pretty anxious when he’d left earlier, and she probably should look for something like a calming influence before things have gone too far out of hand. “I think that would be pleasant, actually. And perhaps accompanied by something distracting as well. I’ve found a few books on CD’s that might be pleasant enough for something short.” She finishes with the offer,not too sure how that’ll likely go.
“That’s…” Aedan winces, and he nods. “Aye, I know that feeling. I’d...challenge most everything tossed at me, if I knew how,and even if I didn’t.” He ducks his head, looking sheepish, slightly. “There’s a lot to be said for laughing through the pain, or even smiling only, if you have to get away with being not SO convincing” And he smiles in a way that obviously can’t be real, even though it LOOKS fine, anyway.
“There’s something to be said for making a scene if you’re going to go down as is.” he adds, and then, “That approach does sound novel. I see where people might be annoyed, but..not before I’ve properly met him anyway.”
Noah nods. “I think he kind of -” He shrugs. “I doubt it was easy, growing up for him. He looks a lot like his father did at his age, and he doesn’t have the same interests.” It still sounds like Aedan’s bracing himself. “It sounded like, earlier, you were a bit curious about the - Archadian standard rules for things. It’s a bit embarrassing to discuss, but I’d be comfortable doing that before heading up to a book on tape and some food. If you have questions.”
He really should make it clear. “I’m not thrilled, Aedan, that you punched someone because you were afraid you’d get forgotten. Or got arrested. Or got drunk and ended up in house arrest. But it’s not my duty to do anything about it. I’m not going to punch you. Basch won’t punch you. I’ll say I don’t think it was a good idea, but you know that, so there’s no point. I will ask if you’re okay, but we’re working on that. I’ll talk to Sebastian about arranging time with you, and I’ll see about doing the same with me.”
“Och, one of THOSE situations.” Ellie sounds incredibly sympathetic when that comes out. “I think that’s part of the problem with Uncle Cal, if you were to ask someone on the outside about it.” Well, and a woman. There are things she’s noticed living around these people that she’s pretty sure they never would pick up on themselves. Someone professional obviously could, but… “At least the not sharing an interest with his athair and...I’m told it’s probably a good thing I never got the chance at meeting my grandparents because my magic would be enough to make them uncomfortable, but that kind of not being what your parents are wanting...He gets that.” They’ve talked about it a little,actually.
“I am, at that.” Aedan says, nodding. “The negotiation process for one. Is there anything it doesn’t cover?” He’s honestly curious if, say, it applies to random bathroom visits in someone’s house, or what passes for one there,anyway, and if the rules ever change due to anything at all.
And there comes Noah’s opinion on the subject, which, he doesn’t like that it seems to be disappointing to him, but he can handle hearing it anyway. It’s similar to how Sebastian had reacted when the news, a boiled down version got to him. Though he’s relaxing as it comes to the last bit there anyway.
“Bit of a terrible idea, if I’d been thinking clearly,aye.I don’t even know I can call it an idea, though, considering how...I was a bit,a lot, messed up at the time.” He winces. “Worst hangover ever, so there was that. And arranging time with you...I’d like that.” It’d be fair, considering.
“Negotiation is kind of a catchall term. Think of it like the social grease of handling things. The general concept is that it’s serious in the sense that it’s actual honest discussion, but in a low key non-serious situation. You’re not doing that kind of negotiation at a peace table. You might do it with a sibling over who gets the corner pieces of a cake sort of thing.” Noah clears his throat. “Sharing a bed is usually the first step in deciding if someone’s going to be your friend. That can be in a totally platonic sense, or a non-platonic one. Typically, people in your house might know it’s going on, and who’s there, but it’s not - you don’t pry until you’re checking in later.”
This sounds so weird, outside of Archades. “So, let’s say your father went to me, and suggested we share a bed. In the - Archadian sense. I’d negotiate with him. Where I’d be sleeping. How long. What’s okay to happen, or not. If anywhere hurts. And the - the test of it is how well we each manage. Can we sleep? Do I listen to the things that are his hard refusals? Do I gossip the next morning.”
“I”m sure a great many people out there’d hope you did gossip.” Ellie can’t help but come up wit there, sounding amused. “Though I’d suppose social lives and all of those aren’t so big of a concept for someone if these are the rules everyone’s got.”
“So, it’s a bit more like…” Aedan’s considering here. “A literal negotiation, but tamer than the sort I’d be thinking of. I didn’t realize it applied to all friendships going on here.” He admits, a little curious about how that might play out. “Still the case once you’ve a romantic partner but you’ve met someone who could well be your platonic best friend ever? Would that be strange for partners and anyone else in the bed?”
“There’s a bit of classism afoot as well,” Noah points out. “You’d tend to share the bed with people you wanted to feel safe and equal to. Your - oh - Prince asking someone to share a bed with him without negotiating things first would be seen as manipulative, but part of the privilege of rank. Still, there’d be frowning. It was the usual horrible - the people that the rules got enforced the strongest were the ones with the power.” Since - well - he can’t pretend Archades was great. It was just what he spent half his life living within the rules.
He sips his coffee. “And yeah. If there’s a platonic friend getting invited into a relationship with a non-platonic partner, you’d want both of them to meet. Unless it’s a relationship with a firm rule that they don’t care, and still, the platonic partner would want to hear that from the other side of things. I tended to be in relationships that were mostly - massages. Sharing a bath. And sometimes I had the unpleasant time of sitting down in some cafe to meet someone’s wife or the like. Obviously, people didn’t grab a toddler and demand they not wake them up in the night, and me negotiating with you wouldn’t involve us sitting in a bedroom looking incredibly awkward. It’s not the - problem at play.”
“That’s a good thing.” Ellie says firmly, on the social thing. “That...knowing that people’d respond that way to someone trying to force their way in on you’s helpful.” She might as well tell some of her story here. “There was a while here, after I’d been around a while, some of our evil clones, alternative versions of them turned up. I’d had a teacher for a bit, but the evil version of him decided to talk me into things. Or try. It’s how I knew it wasn’t him. Master Dorian would have NEVER… It did get me thinking how I was lucky that was the case. How many people aren’t that lucky.”
How many times Aedan wouldn’t have been lucky, she thinks,but doesn’t add. “It’s good to know it doesn’t just come down to what somebody said.” She smiles.”I think I could feel safe in Archades.”
“I wanted to punch him for you at the time.” Aedan agrees. “It was good that we figured all that out pretty fast. And that sounds like it could get either awkward or hilarious, meeting the wives.” He snickers. “Makes sense, though. That’d it’d vary, depending.”
“Well - if we were in Archades -” Noah makes a face. “Right - you can’t see that. It’d be muggy almost year round. Really warm and humid. That’s part of why the sleep thing mattered so much. If you worked until it got late enough you could sleep because it was the temperature of someone’s armpit and about as cozy in your room, and your potential partner crashed as soon as the sun went down, it’d be hard.”
The consent thing. No wonder Basch reacted like that to whatever Damien said. It was probably internal talking about things they both knew, but -
He looks at Aedan. “But - pretending if we were, and we were in a party, and Ellie suddenly thought that Balthier would be a good friend for you, Aedan, she might bring all her uncles and herself over to Balthier’s friends or siblings. And they’d ask questions. Banter. Banter with Balthier as well. Get a feel for rumors about him, and get a feel for what kind of person he was. That didn’t happen with me, as an outsider, but usually once I started a relationship, the siblings might come over and ask some questions. Then, you or Balthier might bring up the idea of negotiating whatever you’re interested in. And - you might even say you want - oh - Ser Iomhar perched on your dresser all night to be certain everything’s fine. And that’d be normal. People might balk at it, but - it’d be normal.”
“Ah wow.” Ellie blinks a little, even if they can’t see her. “Sorry, I’m taking a moment of silent realizations.” He’s explained these things well enough, but they’re so… “That sounds so….oddly freeing, besides that seeming like a fair amount of scouting, at first.. It’s nice to know, that idea that it can stay safe.”
“Especially that you get to make the choice of anyone staying or going and who they might be.” Ellie adds, “It’s nice knowing that I COULD ask someone else to hang around a bit. Not that I think we’d have needed that at home, but, good to know I could have asked, or Ainsley could have, under these rules and…”
“Ooh.” Aedan’s voice takes on a bit of a teasing tone there, but only slightly. “Really, though, if I just wanted for you to...stick around while I was falling asleep if I’d had a really traumatizing moment? Or potentially one, I could ask and it’d only involve that? It’s….that idea’s a good one.” It’s not necessarily something he’s keeping in mind for here, he doesn’t think, but…
“Exactly. You could go ‘I want you to sit in that armchair until I doze off and then leave or leave by a certain time’ and I might demand that I get a dim light and a book, and we’d be fine.” Noah shrugs slightly. “The first time I shared a bed with your father, I ended up with Ser Iomhar and Ser Calum there. Mostly because neither of them could sleep, and they agreed that knowing that Ser Sebastian was safe might help. I woke up to about - four, I want to say, knife hilts near me, but it was cozy enough. And we actually did manage to sleep.”
He pauses. “And before the jokes start, they were knives. Only knives.”
Aedan snorts. “You take away all the fun.” He has to point out. “Now even the most creative commentary’s going to sound like I’m belabouring the point. A bit. But that’s...Did you all four really?” He’s taking a minute, picturing the moment, and then smiles a little. “Glad that worked. He could use the sleep. All of you could.”
“And if we do it again, I’d mostly be checking in that the rules haven’t changed and work from there.” Noah tilts his head. “I know it sounds a bit odd, but it’s - I spent half my life with - Picture a pile of soldiers just suddenly going ‘In Archades, there’s something called sharing a bed’ because a tent is damned cold and laughing their way through figuring out the logistics.” He drains his mug and eyes Aedan. “So - lunch? I was thinking perhaps we’d see what looked good in the fridge or the counter, and make a plate, and you could send photos to your sister? And we could bring a plate to her, and sit near enough to hear that book?”
“We could do that. Might even be able to persuade her to come all the way out and bring along the speakers for it.” Aedan muses. “I don’t think anything terrible’s gone on so much as she’s avoiding the whole….stimulation of it all.” It’s something that he’s going to need to pay more attention to, he realizes, since he’s assumed all along. “At least, I’m pretty hopeful nothing specific happened. I’d probably have noticed.”
As far as foods go, he’s nodding there. “Sounds like a decent method. It turns out I can add a couple more things to my list of things I tolerate too. I’d wanted to mention I’ve been trying some out.” he pauses. “Well, alone, I didn’t want to get caught looking stupid in front of anyone, but when I got the chance to sneak stuff and was actually hungry to try….I took my time, the way you’d said I should.”
Noah perks up a little. “The internet keeps saying that barley or grains like that would be good. I’d love to hear about that. Apparently Balthier’s kind of doing a bunch of small meals because he was on short rations to none for a while there. I’ve been trying to send him ideas.” He looks at Aedan. “We covered everything, right? I suspect there’s questions, but - we hit the main points?”
“There’s a culture based here. Well. religion to some, culture to others, I don’t presume to guess too much.” Aedan says quickly. “They have a few foods that use, well, bread that doesn’t have the leavening agents for...some reason or other, and make these balls of dough that go into a broth. I did like that, when I saw there was a delli. Uh Quinoa, whatever it is…” He’s tried to pronounce that like it looks, since he hasn’t heard anyone use the term. “If you put that with broth it soaks things up and makes it soft enough to be able to eat without too much trouble…” He’s trailing off then, meeting Noah’s eyes and nodding. “I think we have. I...thank you. I do feel better.”
Noah hesitates. “And for your sister’s question - your father was very kind to me. I’m very happy with him. Beyond that - well - you’d have to ask him.” He smiles. “Let’s see what we can do. The class I took on food safety said the queenwah? That stuff had a little tail that waved at you when it was cooked. I assume it was some kind of metaphor, versus a literal thing.”
“I didn’t notice any waving.” Aedan pauses. “That would nearly be disturbing. You’ve got me thinking about how prawns arrive now.” And he twitches a bit, clearly disturbed. Cleaned prawns are one thing, but straight out of the butchery case? Eurgh.
“There’s an author, you know, who was terrified of shellfish. It’s odd to me. I’m used to seaside towns being this mess of weird things I’ve never seen before, compared to river or lake fish, but being terrified that somewhere, a prawn might exist is odd.” Noah digs out his phone to message Basch in case if Balthier’s over there right now.
“I wouldn’t say I’ve heard of anyone who has it so bad as that entirely.” Aedan muses. “I mean so long as they’re prepared and not waiting to greet you still dressed for a dip in the sea. If they’re busy over at yours, you could as easily come through our way. I’m not sure what happened on the grocery run, but it seems like my uncle managed to pick up real foods.”
“Real foods then. Let my brother doze in the sun.” Noah smiles at Aedan. “Should I offer to shop with him?”
“Real foods.” Aedan nods,confident he’ll at least be able to try something they come up with.”And hmm that might not be a bad idea. Or, I don’t know, maybe...it’s been suggested I learn a bit of how to manage in the kitchen and the shops. Could you...would you be willing to show me a bit of that? When I’m allowed out again, that is.”
“I haven’t gotten the sort of training in managing a household. I bet Balthier did. But I did do military cooking, and we had lessons on managing surplus in the class I took.” Noah smiles at Aedan. “But, we can learn together. I know I got asked to pick up a little tea for a friend, so I have an excuse to visit a few stores. Perhaps Ser Ellie might be our backup on the phone, if the stress level is high that day. I suspect we may be obliged to pick up a book or something in repayment.”
“That could do it.” Aedan agrees, “Sounds worth the attempt too,” It’d be worth it, being able to manage things again. And getting out at all is one of those good ideas that should probably help both of them, considering he hasn’t personally seen much of the area in any great detail. “It’s a good idea.”
“Remind me about getting a hold of Balthier. I think he just met his sister. She managed to show up here.” Noah hesitates. “I haven’t told you about Mistress Bunansa much, have I?”