Who: Tony Stark, Steve Royama When: Current Where: Tony's apartment above the shop What: Tony's expecting the worst when Steve said they needed to talk, but instead Steve basically wanted to discuss formally dating just with the two of them. Rating/Warnings: Status: Complete
Tony wasn't expecting Steve to want to talk, but he had tea and food on the table, and an apple cake from the bakery.
A few things had become clear to Steve lately and he had decided, after really thinking it over, and, admittedly, after talking to Clint about things too. They’d both had a few things on their mind and Steve had gotten the encouragement to just go ahead.
He DID bring along some flowers, since the moment called for it, he thought, and one of those moving photo frames that you could program from a phone or computer. He’d uploaded it with photos of him and Tony together, mostly. Some had other friends in, but the point was pictures of Tony and Steve together. Well, and some with Morgan because FAMILY.
Hopefully at least. He had no idea if this would work or NOT.
Tony blinks at the flowers and grins. "Hey. Let me get some water for them. Anything that I forgot?"
“Hey.” Steve smiles. “I uh, think this is about perfect. Well, there’s a thing to make it MORE perfect but that’s kind of what I want to get at tonight. Nothing is wrong but I just..have something I need to say.”
Tony blinks again. "Okay, that's kind of worrying, but - is this a post dinner talk?" He got a vase and dusted it off a bit before getting the flowers in water. It's a pressed glass thing, fairly chunky with a chip in it, but Tony liked the color and no one wanted it instantly, so he got it.
“Less worrying and more…” Steve pauses. “Well, it’s about a thing that I hope is good, that I’d like us to have. That’s all. But it probably CAN wait til after.” He smiles. “I love you.”
"I love you too." Tony sits down. "Let's eat and you can tell me about this? This is kind of - chips and veggies, dip, and sushi, because that's what looked good."
“Oh that sounds nice.” Steve sits across from him. “Thank you. It does look good.”
Tony slides the packages over. "This one's desserts? Little things for tea, and this one is little cakes. I was thinking we could do coffee and watch something later if you wanted." He picked up a fancy stripey piece of sushi and nibbles. "Okay, this is lovely."
“Ooh I like the thought of that, definitely.” If, after Steve says what he has to say, Tony’s not weirded out or anything. He doesn’t get the impression it’ll make Tony back away from him or anything, just that he MIGHT be being a little sudden here.
"So, what's on your mind?" Tony's nibbling his way through food. "I'll fret at it if we doing talk about it, so can we?"
“Sure.” Steve says. “It’s really not something to be worried about. I’m just not sure if I’m doing this too soon or anything. I don’t want to move too fast for you, or anything.” And he takes a breath. “I don’t know if you’d even want this, but I mean...I have to ask, I guess. So I can know.”
"Yeah?" Tony tried to sound suave and cool about the question. It isn't working. "Something good. Are we talking get engaged without overshadowing Basch's wedding?"
“I mean…” Steve laughs. “Not overshadowing anything yet. “ And he pauses. “You know promise rings? That people do before that sort of thing? It’s too bad they got overshadowed with that whole purity culture thing. I mean, not that I don’t think if someone WANTS to make pledges about keeping their virtue they shouldn’t, but the way some cultures do it, and use the term, it’s just...no girls should feel like they have to pledge that kind of thing to their DAD and...anyway, promise rings in the sense that when a couple wants to get engaged SOMEDAY but not yet, not...that other connotation.”
He takes a deep breath because he’s babbling.
“ This is kind of me asking if...I think we’re kind of old for promise rings but the idea of that..that I do want to be with you forever, and to get engaged and then married SOMEDAY. It...would that be too much, knowing that I want there to be an us forever?”
"Have you . . . talked to Bucky about - is this a just us, or - do you want other people?" Tony frowns. "I'm up for promise rings. I just - wasn't sure what you were liking."
“Oh right.” Steve says. “You and Bucky had a kind of thing possibly. Honestly, I was pretty sure, at least I’ve gotten the impression in about as many words that as far as I’m concerned, and as far as he’s concerned, the two of US aren’t anything.”
And he looks thoughtful. “I’ll check with him, about your stuff. I do know that he and Raven seem to be getting close.”
"He said that we were - uh - we were dating?" Tony sighs. "He - yeah. I haven't seen much of Raven. I don't think she likes anyone other than Bucky that I've been around."
“She seems to spend a lot of time with the younger Vaels.” Steve says. “The assassins a little. And I can talk to Bucky and see what’s happening with that, then. He might be being nice to the new kid. I’m not sure what he looks like, when he’s being flirty.”
"I think he's fond of her? I haven't asked. I mean - he deserved a chance to find his normal, after all that, right?" Tony looked down at his food and leaned to fill his plate again. He'd kind of accepted that Bucky was having a lot of fun with people that weren't him, but - well - Bucky hadn't left. Just - found more people. That was a good thing.
“We can figure that out, in that case.” Steve says. “I mean it’s not like they’ve been out. They’ve hung out at group stuff so...If that’s a problem…” Then he’ll deal with it. He didn’t WANT to, but there’s not a lot he can do if Bucky’s still involved, is there? Give them space when Bucky’s around, he guesses.
"I mean - I'm just trying to not have opinions on anything. I don't want to screw things up." His therapist would probably say that's a good thing, talking about feelings. "Don't like Raven being scared of everyone, and it sets off a lot of my - you know - stuff about being abandoned or having to live up to stuff feelings, but that's my head problems, it's not on them."
“Well, the Raven thing…” Steve says. “If it’s what I think, it’s the kind of thing she WOULD be freaked out about. She’s one of...did you guys have a Professor Xavier? He gathers mutants and stuff. I haven’t actually met any of them but he takes in kids and sometimes adults who’ve been persecuted because of being so different. If she’s had enough bad experiences, I think it makes sense. It’s not nice, but…”
He frowns a little.
"Yeah, and remember, I'm reacting weirdly because I've got issues, which is on my end to deal with? Just - it's sort of - I guess I feel weird because you and Bucky have been great to me, and the dating's been eye opening and all." Tony sighs. "But . . . it's weird having Wanda act like I'm offensive because I exist and Raven kind of doing her thing, and you guys seem - okay with stuff. And Wade's off being loud, and armed, and telling you how hot you are, and I'm just . . . there. It's a me issue."
“I mean,” Steve says. “Wanda I can’t really say anything about one way or the other. She hasn’t really involved herself in stuff where I’m concerned. And Wade’s...I can ask Wade to back off. I tended to assume we all knew he was just doing his thing, but I can talk to him about it. I mean, there’s not a lot I can DO about other people besides that one, is there? Genuinely asking here.”
"I'm fine with him doing his thing. It's more - just the feeling that you're the highlight and he doesn't care that it's kind of weird flirting with you, and I'm - an audience for the cool kids being cool stuff. That's a me thing. There's not much you can do other than just - be you?" Tony smiles. "But I'm complaining about feeling a little like if I lost you two, I'd be just really alone except for when Clint had time free. What'd you want to talk about?"
“I mean, I’m not going anywhere.” Steve says. “And it was that, The whole exclusive thing. That was the thing I had in mind.” Which obviously is sounding like something that needs to be put on hold now, at least until they get Bucky in on stuff. Still, he’ll talk to Wade about things, in case it helps. Which it might.
And Bucky...he can handle that part too.
"Are we talking - just me and you?" Tony tilts his head. "With rings and plans to marry later?"
“That WAS under the assumption that other stuff was no longer going, since I hadn’t heard, but…” Steve shrugs. “It was what I wanted to bring up as a discussion topic. Just, you know, as a thing. Going exclusive if there was no reason not to. But if it doesn’t work…” Then it doesn’t.
"I'm . . . up for that idea. Are you?" Tony hesitates. "I don't know what exclusive is like in your mind, but I trust you, if that makes sense."
“I mean, just you and just me. Obviously if Bucky’s still invested it won’t play out and we keep things as they are, but otherwise…” Steve shifted. “Well...I think about it a lot, the possibility of a future with you.”
"I just think you should talk with him? But thanks for letting me know. And -" Tony thinks about it. "I'm up for the idea? If that's what you want."
“I can do that.” Steve says, nodding. “I definitely WILL. And I’m glad you don’t think it’s automatically horrible. Not that I thought you would but..I wasn’t sure if you’d be ready to take you know, this, ME, seriously.”
"I do? I just -" Tony frowns. "Did I ever make you feel like I thought you were a joke? It's more - I wanted to take it slow until you knew what you wanted. Not have me pushing you into stuff."
“I mean…” Steve says frowning too. “More that...less that I feel like you think I am a joke as...more than one...it’s not quite as serious with those odds is it?”
"I was about to say that I can't picture you going 'I want it serious' but -" Tony grins a little. "It does seem like a you thing. I do love you, and I'm happy. I'm sorry it didn't work out with Bucky and you, but - that doesn't mean I'm gone." “I mean, to be honest with Bucky…” Steve shrugs. “I think it was more about you from both of us then. It was like...a good thing to try, but you’re the one he liked so...you had more to lose. It’s not like he’s not...we ARE still friends, naturally. Just not romantic ones. It’s not like...other people here. I swear some of the break ups are just painful to watch. With Bucky it’s less broke up as realized for us two it wasn’t working.”
Tony nods and has that expression that probably says he's thinking something not great about himself.
Steve looks at him with that expression and frowns a little. “Look, I don’t know how it is with you two and I know he DID like you a LOT. I’ll see what’s going on there, but…*I* like you.” Does that mean anything? He’s suddenly really not sure.
"It's fine? I mean - I'd sooner that he go do stuff with Raven and have a good time. I should probably check how he's feeling. Encourage them to do whatever." Tony trails off. "And yeah. I like you a lot too. You're amazing, Steve. You know that right?"
“I mean, he still, if he wants to spend other time with us, should say, right?” Steve asks. “It’s worth me seeing what’s going on for sure.” And he looks relieved at that. For a second there, it was sounding, well…
Sounding a LOT like Bucky was the preferred party here. It’s kind of nice that it’s not the entire case.
"I'd never want to make you guys unable to spend time if you wanted it?" Tony leans to refill his glass. "I mean, I love spending time with just us."
“I mean I just think that...different contexts and all.” Steve says, and relaxes, visibly after the last part. “I...you do? I’m glad then. I DID start to worry.”
Tony laughs. "You need to tell me these things, love. I do like you a lot. I know I've been a kind of terrible boyfriend at the start of the year, but - is there stuff I should be doing?"
“I just assumed that, not that you were terrible.” Steve says; “But that me alone...you would never want that. Like I wouldn’t be enough or you’d just want more than I am.”
"You're really wonderful though. You are really good for me when I'm not doing great, and I love talking with you. You're an amazing artist and I love the - you listen to me." Tony smiles lopsidedly. "And none of that is the serum. That's you."
Steve takes a breath. “It’s..that helps. Thank you too. I worry. About a lot of stuff. But hearing it...that DOES help. It sometimes feels like, I don’t know, to most people it IS all that, and down to details, well. Who’d want to get involved with this? I’m...a lot, romantically.”
"You mean a brave guy who kind of agreed with me that we don't want to immediately go back to fighting but we don't want to do nothing? And flirted with me without realizing it until we figured it out?" Tony waves a hand. "I'm missing a fourth of my chest cavity here and there, and I'm a nightlight. With bonus PTSD."
“I mean the fact that everyone about me that’s all that special’s out of a test tube.” Steve says. “Otherwise, I’m just sort of...rapidly out of place. And sure you’ve got that stuff. They’re not problems for most people who would get to know you. I just…” He frowned. “It feels like it’s sort of wrong, to want just you, I guess.”
"I know the other me somewhere said that, but you're still the guy who looked at a prison camp and decided you wanted the serum." Tony reaches for his hand. "You're more modern than me. I'm out of date compared to the present you were in. And that's - some people just don't do poly stuff? Or they do, but it's only under certain circumstances."
“That’s the thing, the last one. Is that actually okay?” Steve asks. “Just that...I don’t know. I’m glad it works for people and I’m not trying to judge that. Maybe I’m just really selfish?”
"I bet people would say it's selfish to want to try anything other than a guy and a girl of about the same age who are in the age range where they can have kids. And we both know that's a pretty narrow minded description of how dating can go." Tony takes a deep breath. "I just - I've never done that kind of stuff. But sometimes, people come with a close friend, and you need to know how to - I guess - Rhodey's like that? For me. We're in it together for each other. He knows me at my worst."
“That IS pretty narrow, yeah.” Steve agrees. “The thing I’ve learned is it’s not a one size fits all deal. I guess just...I worry if YOU are going to be happy with this or not. And Rhodey seems like a good guy. I hardly know him yet at home, but..”
"He's great. Brilliant, really good at seeing how I'm lying at myself. Immediately got told to handle me for military contracts, but he never made me feel like I was just a production factory. I was his friend first." Tony squeezes Steve's hand. "We can find out? I mean, it's not a major change."
Steve smiles. “Sounds like a good friend to have.” He squeezes back. “Yeah? I’m happy then. Thank you.” He gets this is going against how Tony usually works, so he IS grateful.
"For - what?" Tony blinks. "I mean - I'm enjoying this. I'm not sure if I'll screw it up if we go - what is it - steady? But - you want it, I should try it. I know I want you."
“For being okay with just me.” Steve explains, squeezing his hand again. “THAT was harder to...even put into words in my head.”
Tony was pretty sure it was stupid to even offer, but Bucky and Steve seemed so - hooked together figuring out how they were and Steve seemed so lonely that he tried. But well - worrying about the past was just his anxiety brain. "I'm happy with you."
“I’m glad.” Steve crossed around to pull Tony into a hug. “I’m happy with you too. That’s why I wanted to do this. I’m just..wasn’t sure if I was..well. I’m glad that isn’t true...that I AM enough.”
"You definitely are." Tony leans into the hug. "You okay?" He hugs Steve back.
“I am.” Steve clings a moment. “I got a little scared, that I was...well that without someone else, you didn’t want me at all. I’m glad to know that’s not the case.” He HAD been scared, really scared, but that’s better now. “Are YOU okay? I get the idea I sort of...rocked your world.”
"Yeah. I'm . . . ." Tony leans against his shoulder. "It's me, you know? You tell me we've got to talk, and my mind has a book and two sequels before you get actually talking."
Steve smiles at that, and leans closer, tightening his grip on Tony’s shoulder. “Well, let’s hope we can write better ones together.”