"So I went into therapy all - on edge. Didn't like the idea. Didn't think my stuff was - you know - that bad, or it'd be just a saga of how I'm a jerk on good days, and a really annoying one on bad days. Self centered egotist who loves too much but all for the wrong reasons. Just to puff myself up." Tony's looking off in the distance. "And I walk in, and once we got into talking, the therapist is telling me I need to look at how I don't really - expect people to listen when I ask them to stop."
"Sort of - that people who care about me should listen when I ask for preferences or accommodation, when it comes to irrational stuff or health or just - we didn't even get into the PTSD stuff. Just stuff like - Obie should listen when I don't want to have a fun time, or back off when I find a joke not funny. That it shouldn't be that hard to look at a mirror and say decent things to myself without parroting my dad or the like." Tony trails off. "And that - it was true. I do have trouble thinking people without having a debt involved, will listen if I say no."
"That I kind of have to ramble and run and take the choice out of the question, because they'll not care as soon as they don't like me, or they'll not see why they should listen." Tony waves a hand. "I've got junk that's - traumatic responses that it helps to know how to recognize them, but that's the thing that clicked for me. That here I was, all raring up for a fight - and the thing they noticed was something else."