InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Whatever floats your tuna-boat"

clarkesfirstlaw (clarkesfirstlaw) wrote in angelcomms,
@ 2019-11-04 11:24:00

E-mail to Jacob
Hey, Jacob.

I think Ms. Moore said you guys did some moving stuff? Haven't really talked to her in a while since she's kind of laying low when she's doing work related stuff and buying a house, last I heard.

But - I was talking with Emmett about him perhaps coming over, I think my place, while I cook. Doing some test Thanksgiving cooking, so I'd have opinions on things, and it'd make good leftovers.

He seems up for the idea, and was talking about James from rugby showing up, perhaps.

Also sounds like he's pretty sure you're not interested, but I think that's partially teenaged stress. I can try to talk to him about stuff.

But, wanted to run the idea by you before I got plans going.

-Tony

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haltthemachines
2019-11-04 07:16 pm UTC (link)

Oh Hello Tony,

We did a bit, yeah. More moving Evie's things over to Arno and Shay's until after the twins are born on our part. Which is better than I thought it would be, I'll admit. Easier as a transition than I'd imagined.

Oh that would be fine, if he likes. Might get him interested in gearing up for Christmas over here. I know Arno and Shay wanted to do some Christmas Eve thing that's a combination of French and Irish things for it, and Ezio's claiming Christmas Eve over HERE too, but that threatens to be full of fish. And only fish. I love him and I don't mind fish but options are good too.

Catholics, I tell you. Guilt and fishes.

And good that he is. He's been quiet since the season wrapped. Well, and lately, since we had a fight that I'm hoping he'll be over soon. Teenaged bursts of crazy fancy and all.

I don't think that he is much interested in ME showing up lately, but if he wanted, I could see. I haven't got that much to be doing lately. So, either is fine if it works out. Though someone else talking likely WOULD help.

He can't get over this idea of his that he's got a bee in his bonnet over and maybe someone else can gently get him to back off it?

Either way is fine with me though. Thank you,

Jacob

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clarkesfirstlaw
2019-11-04 09:19 pm UTC (link)

Hello Jacob,

And easier sounds good to me.

I think he's a bit - not sure you want him around, and worried about things. So offering to go might not go over badly, but I suspect he'd talk easier alone. Maybe you could get texted when the food's ready and join in on a meal? You know him more than I do.

And hah - aye. We'd do fish for Christmas. It wasn't the fairytale going to midnight mass after frying all your fish sort of thing, but - we did follow that. Not that my father was religious.

And don't thank me. I'm just being selfish and wanting company.

-Tony

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haltthemachines
2019-11-04 09:56 pm UTC (link)

Tony,

I'd thought for sure there would be nightmares and waking up screaming and the whole bit. So far, well, admittedly, the first happened, but it's more silent screaming as you try to rack your brain to figure out what's happening while what you just dreamed smashes around in your skull while you sort out reality and dreams. Em and Harry have both heard and come to help but...seems far less disturbing than I'd thought. And Bertie's not a support dog, but he IS good at support dog stuff.

That's...what he's been getting at lately, yeah. I swear, if you ever want to piss him off, just tell him that something he wants to happen can't. I could do that, if he'd like to. Hard to know what way he'd go for sure, but...

That DOES sound like would end up being slightly messy really. The whole house and everyone's clothes smelling of the oil sort of a thing. We weren't ourselves, and didn't exactly do a LOT of anything. Old George would come by on Christmas Eve, and for dinner, but George practically lived there himself,and helped raise US, if you could say anyone did that after Nain, so business as usual with better food and new clothes and books, and weapons, really.

And the Rooks had parties. I DO miss those, and most of the gang, but at least Harry's around now too. And Evie. It was hard, without her, at the holidays.

Can't say that's selfish really. Sounds normal to me.

-Jacob

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clarkesfirstlaw
2019-11-04 10:24 pm UTC (link)

Jacob,

That sounds . . . vivid, to be honest. I've had bad dreams like that, and honestly it's easier with people here, though usually when they're around, they're up at whatever weird hour I get up at.

Uh - did you talk about them? I mean with folks? There's some things they recommend trying, when you're grappling with waking up, and I'm terrible at them. Bucky of all people mentioned some stuff to me. I'm guessing he talked about ideas with someone, or he was looking up info.

And yeah. We'd get the occasional feast of the seven fishes when we were doing stuff, but mom and . . . and Jarvis and his wife were really the only ones cooking, and not that often. Rich family, busy.

I didn't cook much either before I got here.

-Tony

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haltthemachines
2019-11-04 10:35 pm UTC (link)

Tony,

Well...

They...are not the easiest to get through, no. Understandable, of course, but still not easy. It was good when Evie was here, because she'd take of it. She slept in my room for the first several months following, and then, well, we all have a suite so her room and mine shared a partition and door and she would always listen and come. These days we have to use the internet instead, but she's as fast at replying as ever if she's not up. She's had a LOT of insomnia for some reason.

And oh, that. Not with just anyone, but I've been seeing someone since I got back here and since Em arrived. We've both got our own now, though we did a few group sessions with Evie and Harry involved too, as we were sharing a space and all.

And there were SOME good therapist suggestions.

Oof that'd do it. Harry's father's rich, and he describes visiting those people as being very busy doing absolutely nothing. Which I have to admit I laughed for longer than was warranted at.

It was mostly chips and egg for Em and me if we were cooking. Otherwise, well, it was easy to grab jellied eel or fish and chips on the way in of an evening.

-Jacob

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clarkesfirstlaw
2019-11-04 10:46 pm UTC (link)

Jacob,

Yeah. Mine are usually - stuff about when I got hurt, or when I was hurting. So I know if I'm achey that I should probably set up stuff to make coffee or hot chocolate, and have an easy breakfast, because I may have an early morning stuff.

And I'm seeing someone. And talking to doctors here, but that's more - I get the feeling some of my stuff wasn't dealt with great before I got here, so there's some stuff that needs re-done for the records and also some stuff that no one asked about. It's interesting. And well - alt!cool daughter from another dimension is here. Need to take care of myself.

That's why I ask?

And hah! Well, my parents did things, but they were very busy at them.

Isn't jellied eel that frightening looking stuff?

-Tony

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haltthemachines
2019-11-05 02:24 am UTC (link)

Tony-

That makes a lot of sense, given all you've said. Mine are uh...The dark. I don't do well in the dark, embarassingly enough. It sounds and feels so STUPID, but hell with that.

Hey, good for you on that. I'm sleeping with someone, which is nice. And the therapy thing's honestly more because Em was so badly adjusted when he got here, and had a lot of weird ideas about proving himself to me. Though mine's talked about the Jack thing and the trauma one, after all. Not that I think much about that. I hate that I did what I did to make him that way, whatever it was, exactly.

Ahh tips? I can do tips.

Sounds a lot like my father.

Well, I like it. I suppose people from NOW might be scared off...

-Jacob

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clarkesfirstlaw
2019-11-05 02:48 am UTC (link)

Jacob -

Yeah, the shades thing was hangovers, but when I got back, it was a nice thing to hide that I was a bit light sensitive. And nothing wrong with that? A lot of my issues are things I couldn't control, and seeing was a part of that.

I heard you were doing well with someone at the Vaels? Noah was talking about how it had family implications in Archades. He's so - serious that I keep expecting him to crack an awful pun or admit he's laughing at me.

And - I can share tips if you want? I meant more that I'm checking in when you said nightmares, because well - my kid worries about me. The me she had isn't there, after all.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jellied_eels - well, wikipedia doesn't really make it look lovely.

-Tony

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haltthemachines
2019-11-05 07:27 am UTC (link)

Tony-

Light sensitive was a thing for me for a month or so after I was back. The eye with the scar's not exactly useful or useable now, but the one that works had a lot of problems in those early days here, getting myself acclimated to the light again. It was dark, in my cell and...I won't go on because neither one of us needs that imagery in our head.

Things you couldn't control huh? Those COULD cause people issues. I think Evie wouldn't be able to stand much of that for very long. She's always better when she's in control of a situation, or taking it.

Aye, well, as they'd put it. Iomhar and I are getting close. I'm fond of him, but we're not quite using those terms yet.

Emmett and Meghan don't seem exactly pleased by what's developing. They've not complained and accept we're together, but they obviously don't like it either. Family implications are a nice part of it though, and make me feel good about the fact there's someone who can step in if Em needs them.

Noah tries so HARD, like you, to make things good for everyone. And he IS very bloody serious. Sweet, really.

Oh I'd assumed that was asking for us to share some. We could easily check in with each other, I think. My kid worries as well, so, probably good that the two of us, who understand each other, should establish things like that, hmm?

Maybe it's a you have to have lived through it sort of a thing.

-Jacob

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clarkesfirstlaw
2019-11-05 05:35 pm UTC (link)

Jacob -

Yeah. I had - uh - I've got bits of my sternum gone and some of my ribs. It honestly doesn't look that bad, so I tend to get the - you know the x-ray tech all "yeah yeah" and then they get a good look at your mess?

And well, improvised surgery while a hostage, by another hostage. Came out with some issues.

Well, it might not be bad to talk to a Vael about how they'd handle relationships like that? It sounds like Noah's trying hard to not get in the way, or involve his assumptions, but Meghan might have some? It can be scary when your parent gets busy and you've got no idea what that'll mean for you.

Hey - I don't feel like I'm trying hard, but thank you.

And trust me - my poor therapist hates how fervently I try to deny stuff. I don't want to force people to deal with that unless they want to. Probably also kind of - not good? I mean, if we share similar triggers and I'm all "Boy I suck for this trigger triggering" and you've got the same? So - checking in, but carefully? Your kid's good, you're good, but - don't let my mess be annoying.

And maybe? Bucky gets it, and he didn't have the same.

-Tony

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haltthemachines
2019-11-07 12:26 am UTC (link)

Tony-

That's...ouch. A definite problem. I've got the eye that doesn't work now, and the scar over that, but it looks normal enough I don't think most picked up on it and I'm not going to go blabbing it to everyone either. I mean you know, and Evie does, and Shaun needed to, but... The others don't need that.

Other than that, well. My left hand was...it'd have been unusable for detail work at home, but they were able to fix it to where I can use it for basic things here. Climbing and using a blade and such, and I have a SMALL bit of a limp in the cold, but those feel more like age injuries I may have gotten eventually. Perhaps not at forty, mind you, but...it is as it is and I can still work, and do it well, so I can't mind too deeply. When I have an apprentice again, it won't change my style, which I'm glad for.

Yours sounds far more likely to have lingering effects. Are those painful? You needn't do details but if there is anything in the way of help I can give, I"m glad to when it comes up.

Well, true. Between her and Emmett, it's obvious the kids are...not pleased. Resigned but they'll not exactly be joyful about it should we move in with them. Not that it's been asked, mind you. Talking's not so bad as ideas go. Maybe even have Evie go approaching Meghan if she's more likely to...I've got the feeling she's the opposite of Ellie, spent more time around mostly women. And...suppose it can be. We succeeded in driving off most suitors our father had. Only two were on purpose, but they'd have been dead awful as stepmothers.

You are more than welcome.

Mm point, I suppose. Bit of a blind leading the blind type of thing? Checking in's reasonable.

Oh I'd meant about the eels. You'd have to have lived through THOSE. Good to know with Bucky, though. Having someone helps. In my case, The Traitor....er, Shay, gets a lot of things that I feel are my fault.

-Jacob

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clarkesfirstlaw
2019-11-07 01:50 am UTC (link)

Jacob,

Well, it's more - I can't drive a car (airbags could hit just hard enough over my heart to risk killing me. Sleeping wasn't fun. My blood pressure is a little low. I'm getting the extent of how things are looked at here, just to be safe.

Ache wise - I guess I'm kind of numb to some of it? It's still hard for me to put a finger on "don't want to" and "can't" and "shouldn't" if that makes sense?

Hah! I think I'll pass on living with eels (isn't that a saying thing? Modern, I mean. Something about a hovercraft.)

-Tony

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	haltthemachines 2019-11-07 04:05 am UTC (link)
	Tony- Oh I could see that being something of an issue. I do love driving here, it's one of my favorite things, but Shaun has issues with me doing it. Has more with Evie though. If it helps, Em won't be driving either? Something to keep in mind. That does. There's different degrees, I suppose. Monty Python, I think. -Jacob (Reply to this) (Parent)