Texts: Thea and Roy QueenOfHearts: One Flew East, One Flew West QueenOfHearts: And One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. QueenOfHearts: So, I saw what's been going down on the network and all. QueenOfHearts: And seriously. Talk To Me.
NotASidekick: Hi. Here to bitch at me like the rest of the internet?
QueenOfHearts: You're kidding, right? You've got every right to be upset right now. QueenOfHearts: Cancer Guy's suffering a lot right now. QueenOfHearts: But Cancer Guy isn't the only one. You've been through Hell QueenOfHearts: You're still IN Hell. You're allowed to acknowledge when things suck. QueenOfHearts: and it's not like you denied his suffering or acted like yours is any worse.
NotASidekick: Heh. Thanks. NotASidekick: It's good to know I'm not some kind of evil asshole here. NotASidekick: Apparently the internet thinks that just because I'm not falling at Cancer Guy's feet begging to be allowed to, I don't know, mop up his puke or something.
QueenOfHearts: LOL don't let Cancer Guy see that. I don't want him to feel bad or anything and the cancer's already shitty for him.
QueenOfHearts: But Holy Overeactions, Batman. I'm not sure what set him off at all.
NotASidekick: I don't get it. I mean it's not like I told him anything I'm dealing with is worse. NotASidekick: It's like I'm not allowed to have bad days or acknowledge that my life's dangerous right now and scary. NotASidekick: And that my life sucks. Because this isn't normal and it's wrong and I'm allowed to hate it and stuff, right?
QueenOfHearts: Unless somebody's talking on their private blog and you come in and piss on their floor, and you're not violating any policies they laid out for this, sure.
QueenOfHearts: You have been through Hell, my friend, and the fact that you wound up here only to get pulled back into it again...
QueenOfHearts: Well, it's just as much shit as having cancer. Maybe more than. He's got even a little hope and you...
NotASidekick: Those people come after me and I'm dead. The people here get it into their heads to do more than collect samples of everything that they can think of, I could end up on someone's table being vivisected while I watch.
NotASidekick: They want to see how I work, everything about me. I...it's fucking scary. I'm shaking right now, thinking about that.
QueenOfHearts: If anybody here's got a right to complain, it's definitely you. That's...
QueenOfHearts: It's fucked up and wrong and you're allowed to talk about it and have it taken seriously.
QueenOfHearts: Like I'm sorry Cancer Guy can't find his favorite scarf but he's allowed to complain about stupid stuff like that with no one bitching him out about how lucky he is, and you're not allowed to talk about the fact you're being kept a research project totally against your will,
QueenOfHearts: Or that you're massively underweight because you were homeless and couldn't afford to eat before all this.
QueenOfHearts: Not that you'd even say the homeless part, and not that it makes much of a difference.
QueenOfHearts: My friend, you've been through enough shit that you're allowed to feel bad about it, and to try to reach out for support.
NotASidekick: Apparently I hurt the guy's feelings when I told him he could block it if he didn't like it. I think I was supposed to fawn, yeah.
NotASidekick: I mean, geez. He's allowed to cry and be afraid and post about it. Cancer's a scary thing, but it isn't the only scary thing out there, and I don't think it's right, or fair, to expect anyone to censor themselves just because somebody thinks they have it worse.
NotASidekick: Isn't there not meant to be any objective worse? Learning his situation's bad doesn't make mine any better. It's like apples and oranges, but he doesn't see that.
NotASidekick: Apparently, I'm meant to build a shrine to Snowflake and fall on my knees regretting that I said I have a life I'm struggling with.
NotASidekick: I mean WHAT? This is because of what I am somehow. Some karmic reminder I shouldn't exist and have no value when it comes to actual humans and not dollar store knockoffs Made In China.
QueenOfHearts: FUCK. THAT. You're allowed to disagree, you're allowed to feel bad and you ARE allowed to talk about it.
QueenOfHearts: You're allowed to feel and to express, and share and you...you're worthy and have every right to protest what is happening to you and to be taken seriously instead of blown off. I'm sorry Cancer Guy's a jerk.
QueenOfHearts: I see why he's so self absorbed right now; that's obvious. But he doesn't have to dismiss everything you say by pointing out the way he has i soooo much worse. Like I feel sorry for him, but it doesn't mean he's got free reign to be an asshole either.
QueenOfHearts: and it doesn't mean that your "sitch" isn't fucked up too. You deserve the right to be upset with how things turn out, the Ollie who betrayed you, and everything else.
QueenOfHearts: It's Okay To Be Upset. It doesn't negate anybody else's feeligs or situation. Talk about it all you want. I'm your friend no matter what. Just...you keep that in mind, okay?
NotASidekick: Thanks.
QueenOfHearts: So, onto more important news...what DO you want for dinner?