InsaneJournal

finvampire (finvampire) wrote in angel_pairings, @ 2007-08-31 15:46:00

Current mood:	bored
Current music:	Bleak - Play

Fic: Pain is so close to pleasure - Part 7
Heading: Pain is so close to pleasure Part 7/?
By: finvampire
Beta: Ash C.
Pairing: William (Spike)/Liam(Angel) Xander,Willow,Wesley,Anya,Buffy and Giles mentioned
Fandom: AtS
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, angst, SLASH,human AU
Disclaimer: I do not own characters of Angel, Spike Xander,Willow,Wesley,Anya,Buffy or Giles Credit goes to Joss Whedon and Co. Story concept is fully mine.
Summary: William gets a “brother” Liam , when his mom decides to invite her new boyfriend to live with them ;) and what’s funny is that William is gay, but his mom doesn’t know that ...and William just found out it himself a while ago, and even worse Liam isn’t gay (or that’s what he says).....
Warnings: angst, SLASH, M/M sex, strong language, involuntary sex,violence,incest
Feedback: pretty please *flutters eyelashes*

A/N: This part contains dark and grim stuff...so..be warned!






"My soul is poisoned from within"
~Cradle of Filth~



Part 7



It all made him feel like the colors in the world had faded to just a blinding flow of various shades of grey; threatening to swallow him whole. Spike had never felt this way about another person – this strong, unbelievably intense force, which had no reason or couldn’t be reasoned with. It just took hold of you, making your mind and body obey – turning you into a willing slave.

He was afraid what the future held in its grip for him – afraid of the fact that his love for Angel was so strong that it even frightened himself. Spike knew he had to come out sooner or later – for his own good and for his loved ones. He had been hiding the truth for far too long; it was starting to eat him from the inside, all the lying and the constant stress for having to hide his true self. His mother would never understand though – being a homosexual was, in his mother’s eyes, a sin; an ugly and disgusting thing. He didn’t notice the class ending before he heard someone speaking to him.

“Spike....would you stay for a while? I’d like a word with you.” Giles was looking at him with a concerned expression on his face. He’d been watching the boy for a while now. It seemed like the kid had problems and what kind of teacher would he be, if he didn’t try to help? Spike was his favorite student from the drama class – always putting 100% from himself into the play; he was an artist, ready to blossom if someone would give him a push to the right direction.

“What? Yeah...okay” Spike muttered, wondering what this was all about. He had no bloody time for soul searching and all that shit – the desire for intellectual conversation with professor Giles was zero, not to mention his lack of self-restraint right now. He soddin’ well didn’t need any psychologigal mumble at the moment either or he would loose his wit altogether.

“I’ve noticed your lack of interest to the subject lately....is there something going on? Something you’d like to talk about?” Giles enquired cautiously, trying to sound as encouraging as possible.

“No....nothing’s going on....I’m just tired....can I go now?” Spike snarled, not even looking at the older man. All he wanted was to get home, as soon as possible; knowing that he’d left Angel there, and that he might be in danger. Mum would leave to work at four – she had the night shift – and Gerard would be at home, alone with Angel. Even the thought that he would be late, that something would happen while he was gone, was unbearable. Spike had promised he would protect Angel and that’s exactly what he would do – no matter what, he would make sure Gerard couldn’t hurt Angel anymore.

“Are you sure? You seem so distracted these days...and there’s no passion in your performance any longer,” Giles stated, searching for some kind of answer from the younger man’s face.

“I’m sure,” Spike muttered, heading out of the classroom – he had no desire to answer any more questions.

~*~



It was beautiful really: a stream of water making its way down the golden skin, dribbling along the smooth spread of muscled back; swirling and flowing to reveal the perfect shape of a firm buttock – tender and soft at the same time – following the line of long legs to finally land on the floor and swirl down the drain.

Gerard was standing behind Angel in the bathroom, steam from the hot water blocking Angel’s view as he turned around, finishing his shower. The events with Spike earlier that day had made him confused – the blond had kissed him. Had slid his tongue around Angel’s mouth, making him feel unspeakable things, bad things – things which were forbidden and filthy, unnatural. But the real problem was that he had liked it; the taste of the other boy – his body pressed against his, heat spreading all over his body and down to his crotch.

Was he gay? He’d never felt such things before – not even with a girl, and he liked girls, right? This was all too much – it would be so much easier to just take off, to go somewhere far from here. Away from his father…and Spike, who had made him feel such an abnormal things. Angel was Catholic, raised to believe that homosexuality was a sin – an unnatural thing, a sickness which should be eliminated.

Only then did he notice his father standing before him as he was stepping out of the shower. Angel felt a hard knot forming in his stomach, making his heart batter faster as the panic tried to force its way in. ‘Not again....no...no....please,’ he repeated over and over in his mind, trying to step past his father; eyes closed, breathing heavily through his nostrils. He felt a strong palm grip his wrist, hauling him backwards and slamming his body hard against the tiled wall. Stars were dancing before Angel’s eyes, ripping pain overrunning his frame.

The next thing he knew, he was waking up from a very bad dream – he was lying on the floor, spread open, blood dripping from his ripped hole. His whole body was screaming in pain; legs trembling as he tried to get up, only to fall down again. At that point, he gave up – mind shutting down completely, not trying to get up anymore. The Angel was broken.

~*~

Spike felt cold shivers creep up his spine as he entered the silent house – there was no sign of Gerard or Angel anywhere; only whispering silence filling his head with morbid images. The athmosphere was thick with something evil, something Spike caught lurking in the corners; waiting to be revealed. His heart was pounding hard in his chest, a feeling of haste quickening his steps as he reached the top of the stairs. It was awfully quiet upstairs as well – the only sound coming from the bathroom. It sounded like dripping water, daunting in its intensity.

Spike stepped into the bathroom, something in his subconscious telling him the way. The scene before his eyes could not have been more horrific or heartbreaking. Angel was leaning against the tiled wall, sitting in the corner, his eyes staring straight ahead – breathing coming in a slow and violent drafts. He was naked and Spike caught something red beneath him: blood.

He felt all the color escaping his face – he was late: no matter how hard he’d tried, he was late. He had never seen anything so terrible – Angel’s eyes were blank, like there was nothing there. He didn’t see Spike – just kept staring with empty eyes. Spike fell to his knees before Angel, crying openly and taking Angel into his arms. He would bring his love back – whatever he had to do, he would bring him back…and then he would kill Gerard.

TBC

Previous parts here