| [Apr. 8th, 2017|11:38 pm] |
Kakashi laughed quietly, wrapped up in a glow that filed the sharp edges off the world.
Ryouma asked, “Do you regret the rest of it?”
It was a lifelong habit to twist away from a straight answer, but Kakashi had been answering honestly since the rooftop. Maybe even before. Making an effort, like Rin had begged him to, back before they’d all gotten bloody at the ANBU Trials. Just try. It was easier with a blur in his veins; he didn’t have to pry his teeth open. He just said words, and they were truthful.
“A little.” He tipped his head against the doorframe, looking at the flourescent light gleam reflected in Ryouma’s sweat-damp hair. “But I’m glad you stayed with us.”
Ryouma was silent for a moment, eyes thoughtful, which made Kakashi wonder what he was seeing. A shinobi, a mask, someone else’s clothes.
“I’m glad you’re glad,” Ryouma said. “An’ that you liked the drink.”
In a lesser moment, Kakashi would have pointed out, vindicated, that see? Sometimes expensive was better. But tonight he just smiled, warm all the way down, and said, “Are we having a Moment?”
“Not unless you want one.” A crooked smile tilted Ryouma’s mouth, shading his expression to ironic. “You already passed up the option for Mortal Enemies, but I guess we could pull back to Reluctant Comrades in Arms instead…”
“Or friends,” Kakashi said carefully. “I hear that’s a thing some people do.”
Ryouma’s smile changed, broken by surprise into something real and relieved. He put his hand on the doorknob. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Today. Soon.”
Kakashi pushed himself off the doorframe. “Three hours and counting.” He dropped his voice to something approximating Raidou’s baritone, “Drink water.”
“You had to say it,” Ryouma complained, and vanished inside his room.
“You said it first,” Kakashi told Ryouma’s door, fuzzily amused — and maybe just a little disappointed that he hadn’t been invited in. Not to pull Ryouma’s clothes off, just to… be.
Ryouma flirted like a reflex, because sex was easy for him and everything else was hard. He’d meant it, whether he knew it or not, when he’d said he didn’t know how to be on a team any more than Kakashi did.
The last time Ryouma had offered (pinned Kakashi to a counter), Kakashi had taken him seriously and it had ended in blood on the training field.
Kakashi knew better now.
Maybe Ryouma would follow through again if Kakashi said something stupid, but if Kakashi said the right things, did the right things, maybe they could know each other without anyone getting their hearts or heads broken. Be teammates who survived. Or friends.
Kakashi laughed very softly to himself. “I’m five,” he said, except that he hadn’t managed to make friends then, either.
He rested a hand against Ryouma’s door, petted the brass number, then weaved his way gently back to his own apartment. |
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