“Anything to help inspire your creativity, my cranky dandelion fluff,” Katsuko said, once again raising the question of whether morphine was assisting her mood, or if she was just… being herself. She reached around Kakashi’s back and touched Ryouma’s shoulder. “Tousaki, I already told you you’re my hair assistant. No getting out of it now.”

Definitely morphine.

Ryouma snuck a quick, wary glance at Kakashi, and shook his head. “I’ll pass this time. You didn’t say when.”

Did he expect Kakashi to bite?

Actually, that wasn’t a thought without appeal, but the whole point of this stupid exercise was fostering team morale (and killing time), and kicking Ryouma in the head would make the captain pull terrible faces. Plus, Ryouma had offered a striptease only ten minutes ago, which had been one of the most entertaining bunker events so far.

And he’d technically saved Kakashi’s life.

He deserved points for that, Kakashi realized. When Kakashi was sober enough to do math again. That might even put Ryouma ahead.

Kakashi scowled, shifted sideways, and interrupted whatever unimportant thing Katsuko was saying by dropping his legs across Ryouma's lap.

“I’m declaring you a footstool,” he announced.

Ryouma gave him an incredulous look.

“We’re building team spirit,” Kakashi said. “You’re helping. Stay still.”

Ryouma strained a long, slow breath through his teeth. “You are so incredibly high.”

“And you’re an unpredictable jerk,” Kakashi said. “I’m giving you the chance to make up for it, and I’m also being nice and not pointing out your hypocritical lapses, Mr punches-people-who-mess-with-his-important-things. Ueno, you’re not braiding my hair."

Ryouma stared at him for a very long moment. Then he shrugged one broad shoulder, gave a short oh, what the hell bark of laughter, and pulled Kakashi’s feet more comfortably into his lap. Katsuko buried her face into the unbraided quarter of Kakashi’s hair and had quiet hysterics.

“I have absolutely nothing to say,” Raidou said, sounding like a man very far away.

Genma was doing the lieutenant face again, but none of them appeared to have crossed the line enough to warrant chastising. When Katsuko wound down and began to breathe like a normal person again, he leaned across the gap and gravely offered her a rubber band.

Well, that explained where they’d been coming from.

Kakashi pulled a set of blankets across himself, bundling into their warm (if dusty) layers. Katsuko’s hand snuck back into his hair. Kakashi tipped his head against her palm and tried to think of good lies.

“Do they all have to be about me?” he asked.

Ryouma said, “You don’t— Huh.” He frowned, dark eyebrows pulling together. “I think it has to be something you know about personally. Like you were there when your genin teammate got his head stuck in a beehive, or something.”

Katsuko snickered.

“You can’t just use random facts,” Genma said. “Like ‘the capital of Clay Country used to be called Owl City in their local language’, or whatever.”

And nothing that made anyone cry, Raidou had said.

Katsuko created three more pigtails while Kakashi mulled things over, and was starting on a fourth, fingers sliding gently through Kakashi’s hair, when he said, “Okay. One, I learned to swim by doggy-paddling in the river with real dogs. Two, Minato-sensei once forgot it was Valentine's day until just before he was supposed to meet Kushina-san, and tried to steal my personal plant as a present for her. Three, last year I got offered the elderly discount for a spa in Tea Country."