While Jon spoke his lengthy, downright eloquent (for him, at least) piece, Robb pointedly fixed steady gaze on their joined hands. Nodding slowly throughout as he absorbed every syllable, every breath pushed across lover's soft palate. All this time he'd been pretty well clueless Jon often felt so upstaged in the relationship. He never meant for that to happen, of course, automatically assuming Jon was happy to let him run the show, every hour of every day. A problem left to fester too long already, and now they had to endure the nasty draining of infection-filled sores.
Several times he really wanted to interject. It was all verbose Scotsman could do to keep mouth clamped tighter than a frog's bum sitting atop a lilypad and not blurt out "No! No I'd never! I never once considered you a fusspot. I'm just fucking dim sometimes, is all. Got so wrapped up in planning and scheming I forgot your needs matter more than mine in the long run..."
But that would all sound so ridiculous now, wouldn't it? Backpedaling and making excuses falling flat as a deflated party balloon would get him absolutely nowhere except further down stinking cesspit.
Words, once spoken, could never be taken back. Oh, people often said it was no big deal, waving a hand and dismissing the topic altogether but deep down... especially those of Jon's mental persuasion would file it all away, every last detail painstakingly noted and categorized. A sort of emotional dagger scoring huge rents into an already damaged soul and Robb wanted no part of it. His job was to build Jon up, not tear him down. Make him feel he was an equal and adored and wanted.
Yet here I am, a right twat punching holes left and right.
"I won't let that happen. I love you too much and I want this-" Robb pressed their clasped hands to his heart, dropping a kiss along roughened knuckles, "-me and you to work." I want this to stick just as much now as when I told Mum. Believe me, Jon.
"I promise from now on I'll not be so pigheaded and insensitive to your needs; and if I do you have permission to clobber me senseless." Bravery found in promises he'd carry to his grave, Robb felt he could honestly, sincerely look at Jon with azure eyes wide and unflinching.
"You mean everything to me - you're my whole world and I'm a complete mess without you."