Damned With You -- Spike/Xander Rated NC17 8/20
Title: Damned With You Author: amejisuto Fandom: BTVS Summary: An accident at Xander's construction site changes his life forever. Pairing: Spike/Xander Written for darkhaven's birthday in March of 2005. Rating: NC17 Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made. Warnings: Character death, bloodplay Beta'd by kitty_poker1, thank you! suki_blue cheerleaded on this fic too.
Notes: Yet another older fic. Enjoy.
Part Eight
Five minutes. That’s all it took for tempers to flare and all Spike wanted to do was rip some of these self-centered idiots a new hole and take Xander home and fuck him senseless.
Of course, that would only make things worse. Xander had to be the one in control of whatever happened to his friends and all Spike could do was support him, no matter what. If Xander could get the screaming harpies to shut up and accept his decision, that was fine with him.
And if his Childe got fed up and tried to kick the Slayer’s ass? All the better, the way he was feeling right now.
“You know, I think we’re getting a bit off track. I, for one, am glad Xander isn’t dead. Well, not dead-dead. And he is happy; if anyone here knows a happy Xander it should be me. We were together for over two years.”
Xander grinned at his ex. “Thanks, An. I’m glad someone is happy to see me walking around.” The last was directed at Buffy and Willow.
Spike was watching the entire group. Anya acted happy to see Xander but on the whole was rather bored of the situation. Tara had retreated behind the curtain of hair and was trying to make herself invisible. Even the air around her seemed…vague. Given enough time, Spike was sure she could weave a spell around herself to make herself totally unnoticeable.
Dawn wasn’t there. Wouldn’t want the Slayer’s little sister hanging around two vampires. Never mind that both of them would lay down their lives for her and one of them had a soul.
Willow was sitting at the table, trying not to look at anyone. He took a whiff of her scent and she smelled angry and guilty all at once and Spike hope she hadn’t tried any mojo on either one of them. He’d really hate to gut her; it would bother Xander.
What amazed Spike was the Watcher. Either going back to the Mother Country or boinking Anyanka had done him some good. Gone were the dress slacks and tweed jackets. The older man was wearing a faded pair of jeans and a sweater and when the light caught him just right Spike could tell that contacts had replaced the glasses. Guess the ex-demon bint brought out the Ripper in the Watcher.
Buffy was the one doing most of the talking, as usual. She was saying how Xander should have never trusted Spike; how Spike put ideas in Xander’s head about how cool it was to be a vampire. He snorted. Considering she’d been the one chasing him right before he and Xander hooked up, that was more than a bit hypocritical.
“Buffy, I really don’t understand what made your panties bunch. I was going to be dead either way, this way I’m dead and can still pay you that twenty bucks I owe you. Seriously, what’s the problem?”
“You weren’t dead, Xander! That’s my problem. You were just…asleep and you could have woken up at any time and people come out of comas! But Spike didn’t give it a chance, he just left and came back and then turned you! I can’t believe that you’d let him do that, that you would want him to do that. It’s just…that’s not you, Xander.”
“And how the fuck would you know?” Spike looked at his Childe then. Xander was holding on to his temper by a thread. Even from across the room he could feel the effort his lover was making to keep from letting his demonic face be seen. “You know, I really thought that when we did the big intervention things would change. I thought, hell, I thought we’d go back to like it was in high school and we were best friends and in each other’s pockets. Stupid, huh? For a while I kept on rationalizing things to myself. How we pulled you out of heaven and that was our fault. That Willow was still having problems with her magicks. But you know what? I see it all differently now.”
Xander turned away from his friends and looked at Spike and smiled before he deliberately brought his true face forward. Spike could hear Anya’s small gasp but didn’t smell any fear from her. That was good, he figured. Tara didn’t do anything but smile, which was even better.
But when Xander turned, there were three heartbeats that sped up, and while the Watcher was still watching the two women were beginning to stink of fear.
“You know what, Buff? I have an even better sense of smell than my Sire. I don’t even think Spike realizes it yet. Might have something to do with the hyena possession, might be something to do with the demon I became. I can smell so much, even with my human face showing. I can smell the food from China Wok from here and that’s four blocks away. Each scent has a feel to it, it almost makes them two dimensional.”
Spike was shocked. He hadn’t realized that but it explained some things. Xander had never complained about his smoking as a human, but it had bothered his Childe to the point where he’d given them up. A muttered “Good Lord!” came from Giles and he looked amazed. Spike could see him visibly restraining himself from asking questions.
Xander took a step closer to Buffy, who was standing in the middle of the shop, and she took two steps back. He found himself grinning. If something happened the Slayer would never have a chance against his Childe.
“You know what I’ve been smelling on you all night, Buff? Both you and Willow? Jealousy. It’s not green, like the saying goes, but feels like an oil slick. You’re fucking jealous. You don’t give a shit that I died. Died! You’re just upset that Spike got over you. And Wills, I kinda bet you're more than a bit pissed that I asked Tara to make sure to give me back my soul. Sad to say, but after your misuse of magic I trust her more. You both read your letters; you know this is what I wanted. Now you’re going to have to accept it.”
Xander turned and came to stand in front of Spike and he opened his arms and embraced his Childe gladly. It had been hard keeping his mouth shut but he knew it was something Xander needed to do.
“See! This is what I’m talking about! Spike comes first and you forget about the rest of us. I thought you said you weren’t going to be in anyone’s thrall anymore!”
Spike let go of Xander, stepped in front of him and growled at Buffy, furious. “Listen here, you empty-headed little bint! Xander might be my Childe but I’ve never even tried to control him. It would be bloody impossible; his head is as thick as stone.” He heard Xander’s “Hey!” and felt his Childe thumping him on the arm but he ignored it. “Like Xan said, you’re just jealous that I jumped his bones instead of yours!”
“That is enough!!” Giles’s shout stopped all of the yelling that had started. He stood now in the center of the room and, by the set of his jaw, Spike could tell he was having a difficult time keeping his temper. Anya left where she was leaning to stand behind him, her hand on his arm, and Spike spared a thought that they looked good together like that.
“But, Giles…” This didn’t come from Buffy this time but Willow, and Spike could smell the salt from her tears.
“No, Willow. I have sat here and listened to you and Buffy for the past three days. I’ve listened to everything you’ve said and what you haven’t. It’s more than enough.” Giles sounded tired and Spike saw him make an aborted attempt to push up glasses that were no longer on his face.
He walked towards them and Spike found himself meeting his gaze. It was like the Watcher was looking to see if he really cared about Xander and for once Spike let his defenses fall just a bit. Giles nodded and then turned to Xander.
“I am so very glad to see you walking around. Rather shocked, though. It seems like it was just last week when Tara told me on one of our conference calls about you and Spike. I wasn’t aware that you had gotten so…attached so quickly. Still, that’s my own fault, I suppose. In the rush to distance myself from Buffy to give her room to grow into her life, I distanced myself from you and Willow as well.”
He embraced Xander and after a few moments of awkwardness Xander returned the hug. Spike was caught in-between growling at someone else touching what was his and laughter at the slightly shocked look on his lover’s face. About halfway through the embrace, Xander had replaced his human mask.
“Giles! You can’t mean that you’re okay with this! Xander is a vampire now and that’s just…wrong!”
Giles finally pulled away and faced Buffy. “It’s not wrong if this is what he wished, and after talking to Tara and both of you I feel sure that Spike did nothing more than follow Xander’s wishes. What is wrong is the fact that you and Willow are pushing him away with your attitude and if you aren’t careful you will lose Xander for real.”
“But…but we’ve already lost him. He’s not ours anymore. He belongs to Spike.”
Willow’s voice was so small and sad that Spike would have felt sorry for her if it wasn’t for all the shit she was putting his Xander through. Xander, however, rushed to kneel on the floor beside her.
“Damn it, Willow, don’t you get it? I was Spike’s before this happened. Being Spike’s Childe, being a vampire doesn’t mean I can’t be your friend, unless you make that impossible.”
She looked at him and then looked away but Spike could see her mask cracking. Xander gave her a quick hug and stood up.
“I went to my funeral tonight and was kinda surprised at who turned up and who didn’t. Not you guys, because you knew what was going on, but people from school I thought I didn’t matter to and guys from work and even a teacher or two. Rob, this older guy that kind of took me under his wing, he figured it out and came to talk to me. He used to be this big wig corporate dude that did an about face and became this everyday guy who worked with wood.”
“He told me why tonight. Seems he was in a real bad car wreck and died. Really died for, like, ten minutes. He didn’t tell me what happened, but he said that when he came back he knew that being here was a second chance and that he wasn’t going to waste it doing things he didn’t like or dealing with people that didn’t like him. He told me my life may not be that short now but that didn’t mean that I should take any crap from anyone.”
Spike laughed at that. “Knew I liked the looks of him. Sounds like something I’d say.”
Xander came up beside him and Spike ran a comforting hand down his back. The others might see Xander being all cool and collected but he could see the tension in Xander’s neck and could feel how anxious he was. His Childe was hurting but putting on a brave face.
“So this is it, my new life. I’m still Xander but I’m Spike’s Childe now and I’m happy. This is what I wanted. If you can handle that, well, that’s great. If you can’t, well then, you weren’t the friends I thought you were.”