"I'm never having kids, though. I'm sure my family will have more than enough for me. The fact of the matter is, I'm just too selfish to have them. I don't trust myself if I'm stuck between buying a candy bar I really want and a bag of diapers. I think that kid will be needing to be potty trained right after exiting the womb because well... candy bars are delicious and I don't have to change them." At least Albus was honest?
"Kids freak me out anyway," Although there wasn't much that freaked him out. "Pregnancy freaks me out. There's an old movie called Aliens. I watched it with me dad. Basically these creatures jumped out, attached to you and impregnated you. Then this alien just bursts through your body and kills you when it's ready to be born. It's just like pregnancy. No thank you. I mean think about it, someone has a baby and everyone is all ooh yay! Miracle of life is happening! But you know what it truly is?" He asked.
"A parasite. A living organism living and feeding off of its host. Typically you would go and get those things removed or have some heavy antibiotics be administered to you. Then after it's born, you're stuck with it for YEARS and even after it is an adult because it may not be mandatory but it's still an obligation to care for it. And I'm sorry I know how I was as a teenager with my parents. I fought with them. I hated them, I'd throw down what they got me. You know that teen angst era and if my kid ever went through that, he'd be knocked into a coma, not waking up until he was matured." Yeah Albus was not father material to say the least.
"The mere thought of even settling down scares me too but if I am going to do it, it'll be FAR off into the future and if Shaylyn is still around. Which she should be but..." Albus shook his head. "Yeah I definitely couldn't be in your situation. Now thinking about it, I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. You should have seen me when we were wearing promise rings. Talk about freaking the fuck out of the anti-commitment guy. So I propose this, when you start sprouting off offspring, name one after me and I'll be daddy number two and get him on weekends so I won't miss out on the experience." Albus said with a laugh.