Jean Grey (withmymind) wrote in ageofmarvels, @ 2016-05-08 20:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | phoenix |
Narrative/Open: Mother's Day
Characters: Jean Grey (OT Xavier's folks)
NPCs: ---
Location: Xavier's School - Outside
Timeline: 5/8 (morning)
Description: Jean meditates for guidance.
Rating: PG
It had been a month since Warren's party, since the last time Jean Grey had seen Pyro. (She'd taken to calling him that, in her mind, unwilling to think of him as the person she had know long ago.) In that period, she had spent much of her free time as she was now, meditating and communing with the thing inside of her. She had long ago decided to stop fighting the Phoenix as she had in her younger years. She had insight to the nature of humanity that it needed, and the Phoenix...well, it had eons of perspective that she desperately needed.
She relaxed, cross-legged, eyes closed, on a yoga mat on top of the lawn. It was the first day in weeks that was warm and spring-like instead of gloomy and damp. She was grateful that the students inside wouldn't be quite so cooped up anymore (they all tended to get stir-crazy and it was a literal headache for Jean), and she was also happy to be out in nature. She could feel a breeze blowing through the blades of grass. They rustled at her thought, swirling and bending at the will of her mind. Being close with the Phoenix had the added benefit of putting her more deeply in touch with her telekinetic abilities and with the molecular makeup of reality around her. It was a soothing, grounding sensation, and frankly, she needed that heavy anchor for her mind.
The usual Hallmark greetings leading up to Mother's Day hadn't gone unnoticed. She had her usual plans—buying a gift for her mother and driving out to have dinner with her, but this year, the holiday had her tied up in knots. Motherhood had always been something Jean wanted for herself, but she wasn't close at all to achieving that goal. Pyro had shown her a vision of another possible reality, one in which they had a beautiful daughter, a world that could never be. She had thought for weeks on the words of Charles. He had always encouraged them to be strong but also have empathy for the people who hated them, who fought them and didn't understand them. How could she have empathy for Pyro? How could she get through the day without finding his current hideyhole and making him hurt as much as she did? Wasn't there a great balance to that? After all, he'd knowingly stopped a life from existing in this world. She took in a deep breath, releasing it slowly.
Charles wouldn't want her to have this kind of anger in her heart, but he wasn't here anymore. The peace that he'd given her all her life was becoming a distant memory. As for the thing inside of her that she was trying to commune with, it didn't have compunctions about emotions like anger or concepts like violent justice. The universe created, and it destroyed. Mothers were special for their ability to create life and see it prosper. Even her mother, who seemed to always fear and revile the strength of her powers, was responsible for the powerful woman she was today. If Jean couldn't be a creator, did that automatically make her the other thing?
She felt a hot flick of flame inside of her mind, and she opened her eyes. Suspended all around her were tiny rocks her mind had collected from the ground. She dispelled them with a shaky wave of her hand, and they scattered to the ground. It wasn't doing her any good to go down this dangerous line of thinking. At the end of the day, the world was greater than just Jean, even if she had the power within her to radically change it.