Theodore. (unlight) wrote in ageofdarkness, @ 2010-05-18 02:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | neville longbottom, theodore nott, zacharias smith |
Who: Theodore, Zach, Neville
What: Going to see Neville again.
When: Monday evening/night.
Where: Evan's rooms.
Warnings: TBA.
The universe was conspiring to make Theodore do something stupid, he just knew it. With every new development, he was getting more and more reckless, pushed farther and farther away from his comfortable neutral zone. He missed it immensely, but he wasn't sure he could ever go back.
Although he didn't have that safe space in his own head, the infirmary was comforting as it always when he had it all to himself. The two patients staying the night were asleep, and he had come straight up here after seeing Vera settled into his house to overwork himself as much as he could, hoping that he'd wear himself out. Instead of getting tired, he'd just run out of things to do. Theodore wasn't going to complain about Rosier being gone and the Matron being asleep, wasn't going to complain about being alone for the moment, but he hated being idle. That was the problem, really.
There were so many reasons not to do what he was doing. Not to care about the welfare of the servants, not to take such risks to heal them, not to do anything that involved putting a toe out of line. And yet, and yet... ever since his father's death, Theodore had been overcome by the need to do things. To take some sort of action.
It was like he had jumped on a broomstick and hurtled himself forward, towards some sort of goal far in the distance, the shape of which he couldn't see very clearly. Watching Luna die had increased the speed of the broom, out of his control, at least for the moment. Soon enough, Theodore thought vaguely, he was probably going to discover that the far off goal he'd imagined was going to be a brick wall, and he was going to crash into it headfirst. He hadn't taken any precautions, hadn't thought out the consequences, and that was not his usual style. He needed a wake-up call, and he needed one before he got himself in serious trouble.
But he dreaded it, too. Because then he'd have to rein himself in, figure out some way to live in this world again, with all its horrors. He didn't quite know how to do that.
Feeling almost as though he was about to be sick with the sheer amount of emotion he was trying not to feel, Theodore busied himself by cleaning every inch of the infirmary a second time. The nonexistent dust and stains would just have to occupy him until Zach arrived.