Zacharias Hevel Smith (gaysmithee) wrote in ageofdarkness, @ 2010-05-17 00:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | tracey davis, zacharias smith |
Being self-homophobic and gay makes so many things awkward
Who: Tracey and Zach
What: Awkward conversation, least for one of them
When: Thursday night (backdated)
Where: Zach's Room
Why: Clubbing with T is the next night.
Warning: TBA
Status: Incomplete
So, Zach knew he was going clubbing the next night, with T, in a gay club, with gay men, gay boys, gay gay gays. And Zach. Zach was going to be there. And he'd given up casual shagging - well casual shagging for him, basically - without Tracey asking because he didn't know what effect a casual shag would have on their relationship, and casual sex wasn't that important to Zach. But well, he was going to be going with T, and while Zach knew - logically - there was almost a zero percent chance of that going anywhere besides the dance floor, and not naughty things on the dance floor either, he still...a small piece of him hoped for more.
But he couldn't do more, even if he hoped for it, if it weren't okay with Tracey. Anything with T, that was going to be just it, whatever they did. He knew that, knew T was generally-ish with-ish someone, though it wasn't exclusive to his knowledge (or he wouldn't have bothered doing anything that made this hope seem real). And T didn't like boys, even if they had snogged that one time. And it had been incredible. Of a snog.
But right, he was trying to concentrate to try to ask Tracey. It was made all the more complicated by the fact that he knew if anything happened, like really happened with T, T was going to be taking the ... less gay part in it, and that meant Zach was taking the .. more gay side, and that was not something he was comfortable thinking about at the time.
"I'm going to go clubbing with T tomorrow night," Zach set his journal down, which was where he had gotten the news.