Damn, Rita Skeeter would be the one to spread the most asinine gossip possible. The bint was ridiculous. However, he wasn't opposed to using her to spew his poison. Why not have a little fun, while they were at it? If Umbridge did live, he at least wanted her character to be suspect. Besides, who best to know what she was hiding than the one who had to rifle through her office in order to plant the egg?
"Yes. I like the dong story. Especially if I insinuate that Draco has to use dongs on her, because his shrank in a freak potion incident." Perfect. Besides, Umbrdige was a hefty old bird. She probably needed something bigger than a needle. Hell, perhaps larger than a giant's dick.
Ugh. Disgusting turn of thought. No more of that.
"Maybe Draco sent her a pair of his lacy knickers so she can sniff them once in awhile. Perhaps it's all that gets her through her day. That, and the sour mash hooch she keeps around. I'd say she has a distillery in the dungeons, but that would give her too much credit. Unless it was made from something like urine."