Log: Pyro, Rogue, and Wolverine Who: Marie Allerdyce, Logan, and a cameo by a very disgruntled John Allerdyce When: February 18, 2008 Where: the boys’ wing of the school What: Contrary to the suggestiveness of the cut tag, there’s really nothing but his own paranoia here to make John disgruntled. But Rogue and Logan have another… I don’t even know what to call it. It’s not an argument, but it’s not nice conversation. And then John shows up and is all PMSy.
It was time to go --- finally. Rogue wasn’t sure if that made her happy or upset. Being in the school was a strange thing and brought back equally strange memories, but it had been largely uneventful. At least, no one had come down to the medlab to rant and rave or be a total bitch to her, so that was something. And Dr. McCoy had been pleasant. Even Jubilee had been… if a little twitchy. Especially the night before when she’d poked her head in to say hi before scurrying off.
But one person still hadn’t come back to talk with her and, while she probably should have taken the hint and left well enough alone, Rogue just couldn’t. It was Logan and even though she done some really horrible shit to him when she’d been out of her mind, she was genuinely sorry for it. But it didn’t really seem like he cared about that. Still, she managed to get herself up to the floor where Logan’s room was. The boys’ wing.
Balancing carefully so she could knock on the door, she half hoped that he wasn’t there. And then she could say that she’d tried.
He wasn't there.
Unfortunately for Rogue, he was there when she turned to leave and give up. He was just heading back to his room, an apple between his teeth as he rolled up his sleeves. He didn't seem to notice she was there until he was right on top of her. He jerked his head up, pulling the apple from his mouth. "Heard you were leavin'."
She gave him a long look. Obviously, he’d heard she was leaving and wasn’t on his way down to say goodbye. “Yeah, sorry. You almost got out of having to see me again,” Rogue said a little sharply… a little hurt.
Shifting her balance on her crutches, she sighed and shook her head. “So… never mind.”
"Didn't say I wasn't gonna come see you," said Logan around his bite of apple. "But you came to see me. You all right?" He looked her over, as if trying to sniff out her flaws.
“Well, you probably would have missed me, considering we’re leaving right after this,” Rogue said, dropping her eyes to study the carpet. “I’m great. Nothing that won’t heal after a little time. Just figured I should say goodbye. This time.”
Logan snorted. "This time." He sniffed, glancing away, and took another bite of his apple.
Rogue’s head snapped up and it was a good thing he’d looked away or else he probably would have caught the sharp flash of pain in her expression. “Fine, that’s not good enough.” She started to walk away, and it would have been nice to have not been on crutches because then she could have been able to make a decent exit, instead of one that was slow and awkward. “Have a great life, Logan.”
As she passed him, his hand snapped out and caught her shoulder. For a long while, he was silent, just taking in being near her. Whenever they talked, they argued, really, and not talking was helpful. Finally, however, he squeezed her shoulder and let go. "I'm glad you're all right," he breathed.
Rogue stopped, of course, when his hand clamped down on her shoulder, but she didn’t say anything, her head bowed and her hair falling over her face. She only looked up once he spoke and she swallowed, looking uncertain before she spoke again. “I wish you’d forgive me.”
Logan took a moment to look down at his apple like it was particularly interesting. "For what."
“What do you think, Logan?” she said softly. “Acting completely insane. Everything that’s happened since I left. For… for John. For leaving to begin with.”
"I forgive you, Rogue," said Logan. "It's the forgettin' that I'm havin' a hard time with."
“What’s the difference? If you forgive me…” If he forgave her then what was there to forget? Frustration crept into her voice… frustration and emotional distress.
"I don't blame you. I don't hate you." Logan looked off down the hall, sighing. "But that doesn't mean I can forget all about it and act like you're the same kid you used to be. You wouldn't want me to."
“How do you know? Maybe I do. Maybe that’s exactly what I want.” He had a point, Rogue just didn’t like his point.
Logan snorted, before he burst into quiet, rumbling laughter. "That's not what you want. You spent the last two years trying to convince me you ain't the same kid you used to be. That's not what you want."
“I haven’t been trying to convince you of anything for the past few years, Logan,” Rogue said, her voice dangerously close to petulant. “I’ve been trying… I’ve been trying to…” She pressed her lips together briefly before speaking again, “I never wanted to push away. I know I did and I’m sorry. But you pushed me away too. You…”
"I what?"
“You never asked me to come back. Not until a few months ago. You just pushed me away, Logan.”
"Don't do that. Don't tell me I never asked you to come back," said Logan with a scowl. "I'm not your keeper, but I spent those first months trying to get you back here, tellin' you you were makin' a mistake. Don't tell me----" He groaned, chuckling at the futility of it. "If I asked you nicely, would it make a damn difference? That ain't what you want. You don't want to be back here. You just want me to want you back here and I can't tell you how fucked up that is, kid."
Rogue flushed and turned her face away. He was right that she didn’t want to be back here. After so long, it just didn’t feel like home anymore. And, of course, she wanted him to want her back here. Of course she did.
“You acted plenty like my keeper until I did something you didn’t like,” she managed to get out around the lump that felt lodged in her throat.
"And I tried to bring you back until you pushed me off and made it clear you weren't a little girl anymore," said Logan, exasperated. "You wanna tell me what your point is? Wanting you back here----letting you know I want you back here----is only gonna make it harder. You want it like that? You want it harder?"
“It’s harder to think that you don’t,” Rogue said, lifting her head and wincing. Part of her knew he was right. If she could just let go it’d be fine. And still, almost two years later, she was still fighting, futilely, to somehow keep Logan in her life, even though it only caused arguments and pain.
Logan laughed softly, and he lifted his hand like he was going to touch her cheek. "Things ain't so black and white, kid----"
"Rogue? Hey, babe, I was just----" John knew she was there, he'd heard her voice, and it was the last place he'd thought to look for her. Skidding to a stop, he frowned, taking in the sight of Logan and Rogue together. What was it Jubilee had said..? He felt his stomach twist and he cleared his throat. "Rogue. C'mon." Stronger, a little harsher, like he had to assert dominance.
She opened her mouth to argue the point, lips pressing together and starting in surprise when she heard John’s voice. “What?” It took her a second to turn, both from having to maneuver n her crutches and because she was so absorbed in her conversation with Logan. “In a second, John.”
John's eyes flickered from Rogue to Logan. "No," he said. "No, I don't have a second. It's time to go."
“We’ve been here for a week and a half. You can’t give me five minutes?”
John scowled at her, rubbing at his sling, and glanced at the floor. "Two minutes." Like that was a good way to barter.
Rogue sighed, glancing back at Logan, then back to John, who didn’t seem to be about to give her those two minutes and privacy. “Are you planning on waiting right there for me?” It wasn’t like there was anything… bad… about the conversation with Logan. But it felt… private, somehow. Something she didn’t want to be having in front of anyone. Especially John.
Logan opened his mouth to say something but John jerked his head up, looking paranoid. "What, is it something I can't hear?" he asked sharply.
“No, it’s not something you can’t…” Rogue let out a sharp breath, sounding frustrated. She probably wouldn’t have gotten riled up so easily if her nerves hadn’t already been rubbed raw from the conversation she’d been having with Logan.
Logan coughed, patting Rogue on the back. "He thinks you should get outta here," he said quietly. "Go on, kid."
She glanced back at Logan looking at him like he’d betrayed her. Perfect. The one time that Logan and John had to agree on something was when she wasn’t agreeing with what they were agreeing on. “Fine.” Steadying her crutches under her arms, she shook her head slightly at Logan, pausing before saying a quiet, “Bye.”
"See ya 'round," Logan said softly, but before he could say anything else to her, John was taking her by the arm and practically dragging her out of the hallway.
“What is wrong with you,” Rogue hissed under her breath, practically tripping over the rubber ends of her crutches as she tried to keep up. And that? That she didn’t care if Logan heard.
"Nothing's wrong with me," John hissed in return, his grip tightening on her arm. "Come on. I wanna go home. Now."
He managed to tighten that grip on a still-healing bruise and Rogue made a pained sound in her throat. “That hurts.”
"You know what? This hasn't been fun for me, all right?" John turned to face her when they got to the elevator. "This might be fun reunion times for you but it's not for me. You know why? Huh? Because you left this goddamn place and everyone misses you. Everyone thinks that I beat you into submission and dragged you off to the motherfucking Brotherhood and tricked you into being my fucking wife. I leave this place and I'm an asshole. You leave, and I'm still an asshole. I wanna blow this joint. I want a cigarette and I want a lighter and I want to go to a place where I'm not being glared at all the time. I almost miss the torture."
Rogue opened her mouth to say something. Shut it. Stared at him. Opened it again. She didn’t think now was a good time to point out that she hadn’t really received a warm welcome back from anyone either, or that he sounded like he was talking nonsense, with the beating her into submission and all.
It took her a few seconds to figure out anything to say, and she finally settled on, “Don’t say that. Being here isn’t as bad as that.”
John looked at her, and it was more than obvious that something had happened that made it that bad. He didn't dignify her with an answer and instead stormed into the elevator as the doors opened.
“John.” In that tone of voice she had when he was being frustrating and confusing. “We’re leaving. Okay? Alright? We’re going.” And followed him into the elevator before he could either yank her into it or have the doors shut in her face.