Log: Jubilee and Pyro Who: John Allerdyce and Jubilation Lee When: February 17, 2008; evening Where: John’s corner of the medlab What: Jubilee goes to warn John that Logan is about to murder him… which… isn’t true. And then they get into a bitchfight.
Jubilee could be a royal pain in the ass. She wouldn’t argue with anyone on that point. And, well, if there was anyone in the world wide world she wanted to be a pain in the ass to it was St. John Allerdyce. The jerkface. After all, she was convinced that he was some kind of shorter, less-terrifying version of Darth Vader, dragging her friends over to the dark side through… like brain washing or something. That was the only explanation for Rogue.
So since he was hanging around, eating their food and taking up their medlab space, she was going to be an enormous pain in the ass. And see if she could give him a heart attack in the process.
Knowing exactly where his little partitioned off room was, she slipped in without so much as a knock. And without even a ‘hi’ or a ‘get bent’, she hissed, “Dude. You have got to get your butt up and hide. Logan’s all climbing up the walls and says you’re on his hit list.” Hey, it might not have been entirely untrue… it was just greatly exaggerated. And, as far as Jubilee knew, Logan wasn’t planning on murdering anyone tonight.
John had been enjoying the peace and quiet, enjoying the fact that he was alone, he wasn't hooked up to any machines, and he was going home tomorrow. He was eating his sandwich when Jubilee came in, and his good mood was shattered. "What---?" Immediately, he went pale, jerking his head up and looking toward the door. It was a stupid thing to fall for, but John had a bit of a Wolverine-phobia when Wolverine was on the warpath. He'd been on the wrong end of those claws more than once.
"What the fuck----" It was practically a squeak, and he threw down his sandwich, shoved the tray table away, and went to leave the bed.
“I’m totally serious. Like --- gah. He’s super pissed.” Granted, Jubilee tended to call John names whenever she talked to him, so why on Earth she’d be helping him hide from a rampaging Wolverine was probably one of those things that didn’t make any sense. But she was sort of counting on him panicking and not bothering to question it.
Jubilee poked her head out the door like she was keeping an eye out for Logan, then looked back at John. “He’s still pissed about Rogue. Dude. You are so screwed.”
"For fuck's sake, I'm not even doing anything wrong!" John said, raking his hand back through his hair as he searched for a place to hide. There really wasn't anywhere except under the bed----and that was exactly where he went, ducking to the floor. "I'm not here."
“Okay, but I think he’s gonna smell you, dude,” Jubilee said with a shrug, fighting to keep from smirking when John hid under the bed. Wow. He’d fall for anything, wouldn’t he? Asshat.
She scurried back to the door, poking her head out again, saying in a hushed whisper. “Okay… okay, I think he’s coming. Oh crap. Yeah, he’s coming. Don’t breathe.”
John grimaced, poking his head out from under the bed. "Close the ---- close the damn door! I'm not here. Tell him I went home. I'm going home tomorrow, I don't want to die today. There's not even a good fucking reason, Jubi----" He stopped, frowning slightly. Why exactly was she helping him and not feeding him to the Wolverine?
By the time Jubilee turned back around, she was cracking up. Literally holding her stomach and doubling up with laughter. “Oh man. Oh man. You should see the look on your face.” Bursting into another fit of giggles, she managed to get out, “Seriously, look in a mirror. Classic.”
"You bitch." John crawled out from under the bed with a pained groan, and ended up collapsed on the floor, lying on his back and glaring at her. "Not funny."
“Yes it is!” Jubilee said, practically howling with laughter. “It’s freaking hysterical! Dude. Is that what they teach you in the Brotherhood? To run away and hide?”
"Shut the fuck up, you don't... ugh." John was patting his pockets for his lighter, but he didn't have anything. No lighter, so really, he was rendered useless. And after his experiences over the last six months? He couldn't mentally afford another beating. "Did you want to do something other than fuck with an invalid?"
Jubilee didn’t really know all the weird crap John had been through in the past six months but… even if she had, she probably would have messed with his head anyway. “No, I just wanted to see you squirm. Really. That’s all. I told Bobby I’ve give you a good kick but you sorta look like you’ve had enough punishment for the day.”
"Yeah. Thanks." John peeled himself up off the floor and flopped back down onto the bed. "I never liked you. I still don't like you."
“Sure you do,” Jubilee chirped cheerfully. “Everyone likes me.”
John snorted. "If I liked you I would have stayed at the school."
“For me?” Jubilee said wide-eyed and deliberately twisting his words. “You were going to stay at the school just for me?”
John smiled sweetly at her and scooted over toward her. "Oh, sure, Jubes. I'm a sucker for a cute, mouthy Asian girl with firepower."
Jubilee immediately wrinkled up her nose and squealed, “Oh gross. Gross gross gross. Don’t you hit on me. I feel all slimy now.” She shuddered to prove her point.
"What? Oh, Juby, don't say you never had thoughts about fucking me," John teased, hopping off the bed and stalking over to her, grinning. He invaded her space but he didn't actually touch her. "I remember that day a few years ago and it was the Labor Day picnic and you were traipsing around in that bikini and wiggling---mm----that fine ass all up in my space----"
Jubilee looked positively grossed out. “You are so disgusting, Allerdyce. No wonder we all celebrated when you left. Ugh.” She was going to have to burn that bikini now. Great. “Dude, seriously, I’m gonna paf you in the face and then start telling the long list of people I can think of off the top of my head that you were trying to get into my pants.”
"Dude, seriously, you paf me in the face and you'll have a broken jaw. I'm a big boy now and I'm not afraid to hit a girl," said John, a little more harshly than he probably should have. Then again, legal imprisonment and then being held hostage by mutant-hating psychos would do that to a person. He wasn't quite stable in that regard anymore.
“Ooooooh, Johnny-boy’s all grown up. I’m sooooooo scared.” She rolled her eyes at him. “Anyway, you break my jaw and Wolverine really will shish kebob you, dickwad,” Jubilee snapped back, crossing her arms and glaring at him. Well, maybe Logan wouldn’t, but he might.
John scowled, but the threat was enough to get him to back off, because Logan was always looking for an excuse to skewer him. "Whatever," he grunted. "I'm goin' home tomorrow, I'm not looking for trouble just because you decide to be a mouthy pain in the ass."
“I wouldn’t have to be a mouthy pain in the ass if you weren’t cocky douchebag,” Jubilee retorted. She wasn’t typically mean to people --- thoughtless, yes. She had a tendency to take a joke a little too far without realizing she was causing any harm. But she was clearly pissy with John and holding a grudge. Hence the name calling.
"I wasn't doing anything! I was lying in the medlab minding my own damn business! What the fuck's your problem?" John tugged her away from the door and slammed it shut. He was going to get answers out of her and Hank wasn't going to interfere (and, on the off chance that Logan was out there, closing the door wouldn't hurt).
“Ow! Ow! Hey! Kidnapping! He’s trying to kidnap me too,” Jubilee yelled when he grabbed her and started manhandling her. She also didn’t much like the door being shut, but, hey, she was the one with useable powers here.
John leaned back against the door and folded his arms. "Shut up and answer the question. What's your beef with me?"
“Shut up and answer the question,” she mimicked, doing… really, a pretty obnoxious approximation of his voice. “You’re a dickface. Do I need to have more of a reason to want to kick your ass?”
Glowering at him, she clenched her hand into a fist so she didn’t start accidentally shooting off sparks and encourage him to actually break her jaw. That wouldn’t be any good. “Dude. You’re all… Mr. Big Bad Brotherhood member and then you go and drag off more of us from over here. I figure you must have gotten a telepath or someone to screw up her head. Sicko. Not. Freaking. Cool.”
"Dude." John frowned, rubbing at his bad arm. He was staring at her incredulously. "I didn't drag anybody. What the fuck, Jubes. Wh----are you talking about my wife?"
“That’s another really sick move. Brainwashing someone into marrying you.” Which made it obvious that, yes, she was talking about his wife. “I mean…that’s gross enough. I don’t even want to think about the sort of… of…” What was a good euphemism for sex? “…wife stuff you’re having her do. Ugh.”
"Excuse me?" John was pretty tolerant and took a lot of abuse for stuff, but nobody talked about his relationship with Rogue like that. Nobody. He stopped leaning against the door and took a small step forward.
“You heard me,” Jubilee said, thrusting her jaw forward in a ‘you just try to argue with me’ move. “No way she would have… have run off and… ick… if you hadn’t brainwashed her or something.”
"I didn't brainwash her, you deluded bitch," John snarled. Though... hn. If she'd never touched him, if she'd never drained his life force like she did, would she have fallen for him? Maybe not. He didn't know. "Don't you even start on that. You just can't handle the fact that she's with me and with the Brotherhood. It's her choice, not yours. Don't blame me."
“Don’t you tell me not to blame you. It’s your fault,” Jubilee retorted with a scowl. “Please. Everyone knows she’s always been crazy over Logan. Yeah, I really believe she would have just taken off because she wanted to.”
"She's been gone for years! Get the fuck over it. She made her decisions." John looked ready to smack her, and if he had his powers to back him up he probably would have.
“Because you brainwashed her,” Jubilee practically… well, really, she did sort of scream it. “Oh my God. You can’t even admit it? Why? Because you know Logan’ll rip your head off?”
"Because it's not fucking true!" Instead of hitting her, John slammed his foot into the bed. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself it wasn't true as much as he was trying to convince her. "I didn't brainwash her! You just can't handle the fact that she'd make this decision on her own."
But Rogue had started acting weird when she took on Max's life force. She took on John's personality when she kissed him and he'd often used that to his advantage to smooth over arguments----not on purpose, but it still happened. He'd been in love with her since he first saw her... had he fucked with her head and brainwashed her? Really? Had he? He didn't know.
Jubilee squeaked when he kicked the bed. That could have easily been her face. Oops. Bad Jubilee. Don’t poke the zoo animals.
Still. “Whatever. I don’t buy that you didn’t do anything. Not for a second. We’re talking about Rogue. You know? The girl who dated Bobby Drake for three years? That’s longer than she’s been with you, by the way. The one who was an X-Man? The girl who always went ga-ga over Logan anytime he walked into a room. That girl?” She jabbed him in the chest, finger sparkling a little. “You are one sick puppy.”
John grabbed her wrist and twisted it, and he felt like he could have broken it if he'd done it at a slightly different angle. Jubilee's words had genuinely rattled him. Really, seriously rattled him. Freaked him the fuck out. "Get out."
Jubilee looked like she was on the verge of screaming bloody murder. And, if she did, someone would come barging in here. And then she’d probably get in trouble for picking a fight. So, instead, she swallowed a squeal and managed, “Screw you, Allerdyce.”
John squeezed harder. "Get. Out."
“Then. Let. Go. Asshole,” she said with a wince.
John released her and stepped back, tugging the door open. "Bitch."
“Shithead,” she muttered, barely restraining herself from throwing a handful of fireworks into his face on her way out the door.
He practically shoved her out and slammed the door shut, leaning back against it and covering his face with his hands. Fuck. Fuck. His thoughts weren't good. Not at all.