Ginny (am_ginny) wrote in aftermath_rpg, @ 2008-11-21 20:46:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | * november 1999, - complete, ginny weasley |
RP : Locking it all away
Date: 21 November 1999
Characters: Ginny
Location: The Burrow
Warnings: Fairly emotional
Summary: Ginny locks away her pain
Open/Closed: Closed
Status : Complete
The silence in the Burrow was deafening. It was Friday night, and everyone had gone home. Arthur had taken back to his bed. Ginny Weasley sat in the living room, staring at the fire. She hated the Burrow. She hated how empty it was. She hated that she got left all alone to take care of her father. Most of all, she hated how every sound that echoed in the silence reminded her that her mother was gone.
Ginny pulled her knees up to her chest and sighed. She hated this feeling of emptiness and guilt that was constantly eating at the pit of her stomach. She tried to get angry, but the only person she could be angry at was herself, The past few weeks kept blurring through her mind, and she wasn't entirely sure which direction was up, down, left or right. It seemed every time something happened in her life, she barely had time to register it in her mind. The accident, then Draco, then Ron and Harry, then the potion. Those enough should have driven her to madness. The addition of her mother disappearing, her fights with Draco and Blaise, and Ginny knew she was lucky to still be standing.
Was her relationship with Draco a mistake? Ginny wasn't entirely sure. She knew she wasn't in love with him, at least yet. She was stuck in the state of intense infatuation. Merlin, she did care about the boy. She adored his smile, his cockiness and his disregard for almost everything. She loved the way she felt when she woke up in his arms.
The thought, however, that he was a Malfoy and she was, no matter what her aunt did, a Weasley did not escape her. The angry words she had exchanged with her mother before her death twisted in her insides. Ginny didn't want to deal with those pains anymore. She was so tired of pain. Pain was weakness, and weakness would get her killed. Blaise had told her as much. She couldn't do this. She couldn't be weak.
She closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. She slowly began taking the memories, the fights, the heartbreak and the disappointment and began slowly filing them away, just as Kingsley had taught her. She didn't know how many hours she sat there, in front of the fire and simply locked her pain away.
The last thing she remembered before falling into a deep, dark, dreamless sleep on the floor was a feeling of numb emptiness. It was the first real sleep she had had in a week.