Ron stood up sheepishly and grinned at Harry. He strode into the kitchen, clapped Harry on the shoulder, and poured himself and poured himself a large cup of coffee. He tried to keep the huge, rather smug grin off his face, but was finding it to be rather difficult.
"Well, so you and Malfoy went to the cinema, which is fine I suppose, but really - he was a complete prat to me for six years, and would have handed you right over to You-Know-Who, and I haven't forgiven him yet. Well, he hasn't asked for my forgiveness anyway. So the point was that I wasn't going to the cinema with you lot. Anyway, did you know that there's this whole other alley off Knockturn Alley? And there are rainbow wands everywhere? And everyone's really friendly? Anyway I went there, and I went to a bar, and I met this bloke Sean, and he was brilliant, just brilliant, the nicest bloke ever, and really nice and we became friends right away, and he told me that he thought I was cute which I thought was weird - a bloke calling me cute? - but I suppose I'd just never imagined fancying a bloke like that, but then it all made so much sense so then we went back to his place and you should see the things he can do with his mouth, and Harry, it was brilliant!"
By the time Ron was done, there were bits of food everywhere, as Ron never had the decency to wait to talk until he was done eating.