Josh nodded against his lover's back. They all had their needs. Though he'd since mostly grown out of it, Kevin still retreated more than was strictly necessary. He had a tendency to take everything too personally; becoming overly emotional and unbalanced as quickly as if he had a switch. His partner's alt was endlessly offended, feeling constantly on the defensive. And his other half was the most stubborn one of them Josh had ever met. Their little alts - for all their progress - were still reclusive and unstable. Their twinned alts kept mostly to themselves. And Josh...Josh distanced.
Knowledge and familiarity did not make for a fair trade in understanding, but they managed. Somehow. Some days, Josh wasn't quite sure how. Some days, he was convinced if not for the bond they all shared, it would have fallen apart long ago.
"As much time as you need," he replied. He'd love for Josh to be present at the wedding, but he understood why it could be an issue. He and Kevin weren't marrying to hurt anyone. They were marrying because they were madly in love and couldn't bear to just let convention lay anymore. They wanted what they'd fought so hard, for so long for: Their happy ending.
And one person's happy ending, was someone else's misery.
He dropped his chin to Josh's shoulder, suddenly melancholy. It felt too much like a separation for him not to be upset by it. Even though he knew it was selfish to want it all. What made it bearable was knowing that by respecting Josh's needs, he would be helping him in the only way he could. Much as he disliked it, it would have to be enough.
Sometimes he wondered what would happen if he pushed more. But, he loved Josh too much to risk ruining their relationship that way. Some days, he would close his eyes and try to remember how Kevin might have reacted. But it always hurt too much. With Kevin gone and Josh pinning, and him not enough. Never enough.