She was expecting this. What else could he have to tell her that he couldn't say on the journals. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt any less. She didn't know what to do, he whole body went numb at his words. She closed her eyes, and this time she couldn't stop herself from crying. She wanted to say it was okay, that she understood, it was fine...but she wasn't fine. She was heartbroken. She was 29 years old and she couldn't go past hand holding.
Her face was burning, hot tears sliding down, and she covered her face. She tried nodding, wanting to say something but there was nothing. She had pushed him and pushed him, and this was the result. She pushed him right away from her. She tried not to think of Portree, and her head on his shoulder and the stars. But no matter what she did, she couldn't stop herself.
"Oh," she said at last, through her tears. She should get up, should leave, but she was embarrassingly frozen in place.