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Diana Margaret Penrose ([info]secret_me) wrote in [info]afreshrpg,
@ 2012-08-27 21:45:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:character: eleanor branstone, character: isabelle dorny, time: 1998-08

WHO: Ellie and Isabelle
WHEN: Monday evening, immediately following this conversation.
WHERE: Ellie's parents' Bed and Breakfast, Cornwall
WHAT: An awkward conversation
RATING: Highish, girlsnogging and wandering hands.
STATUS: Closed, Complete.



Isabelle had never been so nervous in her entire life. The thought of what she was about to do was turning her stomach in interesting ways. She'd never told this particular thing to anyone. Ever. Now she'd committed herself to letting it all out to the first girl who had shown any interest. Was she insane? Desperate?

Maybe if she hadn't been taken off guard by a declaration of interest, she might have been able to handle it more level-headedly, rather than nearly blurt the whole thing out over journals and paint herself into feeling like she had to come clean.

In reality, it was more that she wanted to. This was just an excuse, a reason to say words that had been stuck in her throat for years.

It took her entirely too long to calm herself long enough to make the Appirition turn. She was still new at this whole thing, and it wouldn't do to splinch herself horribly. That would be attractive.

She finally made the pivot and disappeared from her bedroom to appear in the hallway outside of Ellie's. The sound of her materialization was probably loud enough to announce her presence, but she raised a hand to knock anyway.


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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 04:05 am UTC (link)
Ellie was having trouble believing what had just happened. She'd never had such a big fight with Laura. Ordinarily when they disagreed, it blew over after a couple of minutes, but this seemed... bigger. Ellie knew that she shouldn't have pushed, but once she started, she couldn't seem to make herself stop, and now... and now everything was ruined.

So she'd blurted out her confession to Isabelle, and now the girl was on her way. To let her down gently, she supposed. Really, this whole afternoon had been one error in judgement after another on Ellie's part, and she wasn't looking forward to facing the older girl.

By the time she heard the knock on the door, she was sitting on her bed, knees drawn up to her chest. She'd cried, when Laura left, but she'd wiped her face and calmed down a little since.

"Come in," she called softly, her voice dull. If Isabelle was going to turn her down, she just hoped she would get it over with quickly.

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 04:08 am UTC (link)
Isabelle opened the door to Ellie's bedroom and slipped inside. She closed the door softly behind her, keeping both hands on the handle behind her back. She leaned against the smooth wood and dropped her gaze to the floor, sucking in a steadying breath.

"Hi," she said lamely. She had no idea what she was doing anymore. Ugh, this was a bad idea. Stupid impulses.

"Do you want to talk about what's wrong?" Anything to delay confessing.

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 04:12 am UTC (link)
Ellie looked up. "Naw," she said. "I just... fought with Laura, and she went home. It's a long, dumb story." And I don't want to talk about it, she realized.

She sat up straighter, uncurling her legs and letting them dangle off the side of the bed. "Didn't you say you wanted to talk about something?" she asked, trying not to wince. She patted the bed beside her, indicating that Isabelle should sit down. She didn't want to have this conversation while Belle was towering over her and making her feel smaller than she already felt.

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 04:19 am UTC (link)
Ooooh, no, no, no. That was entirely too close. It was much safer over here by the door. Comfortable. There was a buffer. And it was, of course, the wrong place to be. She knew that.

With a little sigh, she pushed away from the door and took her sweet time in making it across the bedroom to sit on the bed, hands clasped together between her knees. She left several inches of space between herself and Ellie and stared at the floor.

"Yeah," she said slowly. Any moment now, she'd do something she'd never done. One second passed, then two, then ten. Fifteen.

"No one knows this," she said at length, her voice unsteady, "but you're wrong about me."

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 04:25 am UTC (link)
Confused, Ellie just waited. She shifted a tiny bit further away after realizing that Isabelle was uncomfortable, but she stayed close enough to reach out and touch, to stroke her arm or take her hand if the situation called for it.

"Wrong about you?" she asked, frowning slightly. "Do you mean you're... not nice?"

Oh God, what if she'd been wrong about that and it turned out Isabelle was really a blood purist and she knew who had stolen Susan and now she was here to do something to Ellie? Eyes widening in horror, she backed up a little and fumbled for her wand. "Are... are you secretly here to kill me?" she asked in a tiny, trembling voice.

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 04:31 am UTC (link)
Isabelle very nearly laughed out loud at Ellie's last question because she thought the other girl was joking, trying to break the tension. When Isabelle turned to look and saw the expression of pure terror on Ellie's face, her heart melted and she felt something in her gut unclench.

"No!" She said emphatically, reaching out slowly to touch Ellie's wand hand and lower it. "Of course not."

She rubbed her forehead with her other hand. Well, positive side, this was an ice breaker.

"I meant how you think I like boys..." She blurted and then pulled her lips in, biting down on them, eyes wide. That was entirely too easy. She quickly had to look away.

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 04:34 am UTC (link)
On hearing that Isabelle wasn't going to kill her, Ellie heaved a huge sigh of relief and launched herself across the gap, dropping her wand and flinging her arms around the older girl.

"I knew it," she said, face buried in Isabelle's neck. "I knew I wasn't wrong about that, I knew you were nice. You can't fake that kind of nice, and I could tell that you were lovely, right from the start."

Classic Ellie. Leaping before she looked. Or in this case, launching before she listened... Too late, she heard Isabelle's last words and pulled back to look her in the eye. "You mean you don't?" she asked curiously. "How come you're only just saying so now?"

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 04:39 am UTC (link)
Isabelle, though surprised, recovered quickly and put her arms around the other girl. She closed her eyes and rested her cheek against Ellie's temple. She could not help but get caught up in the other girl's relief and joy.

When Ellie pulled back, Isabelle opened her eyes to meet Ellie's. She held that position for several seconds after the question before dropping her arms and scooting back slightly, creating distance.

"Because..." She looked down and fiddled with her shirt, straightening it. "Because I've never said it before."

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 04:43 am UTC (link)
Ellie considered that for a moment. "You've never told anyone," she repeated thoughtfully, mirroring Belle's action and shifting back a little. "Never said it before today... So then why would you tell me?"

Genuinely curious now, she reached out, guiding Isabelle's chin up gently until they were looking each other in the eye again. "And why now?" she went on, voice soft. "What changed?"

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 04:48 am UTC (link)
On instinct, Isabelle wanted to flinch away from the touch, to pull back and look anywhere else but at Ellie. She didn't, though. It was tough, but she didn't.

"I think because I needed to," she said with a shrug. There was so much more she wanted to say, to spill out how hard it had been for her, to ramble on and on until she felt emptied of the poisonous secrets, start from the beginning and purge it all.

Instead, she was quiet.

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 04:55 am UTC (link)
"So let me get this straight," Ellie said, more to herself than to Isabelle. "You're... gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and nice, and you like girls?"

Despite the fact that she knew it was stupid, her heart was already beating faster. She bit her own lip. Just because Isabelle liked girls, didn't mean she liked Ellie. "Y-you could talk to me, if you wanted," she suggested lamely. "I mean, I'd listen."

But what she really wanted to do was... She leaned in and brushed their lips together, just lightly, before pulling back and blushing furiously.

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 05:03 am UTC (link)
Isabelle looked down and chewed on the inside of her cheek, nodding slightly as Ellie sorted things out aloud. She looked back up, running her tongue lightly over her lower lip, preparing to respond to the offer of someone to talk to.

Instead of speaking, her breath was cut short by the sudden electricity of Ellie's lips on hers. That was something she'd never felt before.

She pulled back herself, skin going pale with shock while a dozen thoughts fought for dominance inside her head. Should she leave? Should she reciprocate? Should she talk about it?

She stammered for a moment before reaching out to gently grasp Ellie's shoulder and draw her in for a second kiss, this one firmer and longer, exploratory more than anything.

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 05:07 am UTC (link)
Sucking in a breath, Ellie kissed back. And maybe it was because of the fight she'd had with Laura over being pushy, and maybe it was a flash of awareness that Isabelle might be uncertain, but whatever it was, Ellie knew somehow to keep it low key. She returned the kiss but let Isabelle keep control...

But she couldn't help the whimper that escaped her throat. God, but she loved kissing. There was nothing quite like kissing, and Isabelle was, apparently, very good at it. She pulled back after a moment, licking her lips and gazing at the older girl. "That was..."

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 05:15 am UTC (link)
"Different?" Isabelle supplied. That was maybe not the right answer, but it felt like a good enough one for the moment. She turned so that she was sitting straight on the bed, facing outward with her feet flat on the floor and her hands on the bedspread on either side of her.

Her heart was fluttering somewhere in her throat and she had to close her eyes to calm it down. "That was my first," she said quietly, "with a girl, anyway..."

She took a deep breath and looked toward the ceiling. "It's been a rough few years." She was grinning, barely holding back laughing. She felt light.

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 05:19 am UTC (link)
The change in Isabelle's mood was infectious. Ellie grinned back. "Did you like it?" she asked, though the answer was reasonably clear. She leaned back, resting on her hands and crossing her legs in front of her.

"Tell me about it," she urged. "Just... tell the story you want to tell." She wanted to sit closer, hold her hand, kiss her more, but she resisted. If that was Isabelle's first kiss with a girl, she might also want it to be her last. She waited, therefore, to see what the girl would do.

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 05:36 am UTC (link)
Isabelle nodded an affirmative to the question, but did not elaborate. She was still processing. She plucked absently at the bedspread for a moment until she realized that it wasn't her bed, so she clasped her hands together and set them in her lap.

"I was fourteen when I figured it out," she began, the words tumbling out, each faster than the last until it became a word-dump that felt more like pushing venom out of a snakebite than talking.

She didn't know how long she talked, but by the end her throat was dry. She talked about how scared she'd been, how lonely, how she felt like she was broken and wrong and how terribly long it had taken her to accept herself for what she was. She talked about her reasons for keeping it quiet, how good Pureblood girls are supposed to marry good Pureblood boys and have good Pureblood children, and to stray from that was to lose everything she held dear.

By the end of it, she was staring at her hands and her voice had gone shaky. She felt good, though.

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 05:41 am UTC (link)
Ellie left the room silently, though she gave Isabelle a reassuring smile. She padded down to the kitchen, and begged a snack from William, batting her still slightly red eyes and managing to coax a bottle of wine out of him.

By the time she'd got back to the bedroom, she was nervous again. "Here," she said awkwardly. "Thought you might like a drink, after all of that." The snack was one of William's specialities, mini quiches with cheese on top. She took one and nibbled at it, waiting for as long as she could before asking the question burning inside her.

"So... um. Was that... something you'd want to do again? W-with me?"

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 05:49 am UTC (link)
Isabelle lifted her gaze and watched Ellie leave the room. Her mouth dropped open slightly with surprise and a little bit of hurt that vanished at the sight of that smile. She waited patiently, hands together in her lap, breathing slowly. She felt a bit dizzy, but in a good way.

She smiled her thanks at the offered food and drink and accepted both, going for the wine first. She did need it.

She held the wine glass in her two hands, looking down into the liquid. She shrugged at the question. "I don't know. Maybe." She didn't want to do it if it was just because Ellie knew and was interested. That wouldn't be fair.

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 05:58 am UTC (link)
"Maybe?"

There was a twinge of hurt in her stomach, but it wasn't entirely unexpected. Just because Isabelle liked girls, it didn't mean that she would automatically like Ellie that way. Pouring her own glass of wine, she took a long swallow and sighed.

"So do you at least feel better for having for it off your chest?" she asked finally. She wouldn't push, because she'd learned her lesson. For today at least. Still, she couldn't help the slightly hopeful look in her eye as she regarded Isabelle.

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 06:01 am UTC (link)
Isabelle turned her head to meet Ellie's eyes. "Even though it was... wonderful," she said, "if we do it again, I want it to be for the right reason." She gave the other girl a half smile, hoping that it would be received well.

At the question, she nodded. "Yes. A world of yes." She was suddenly serious.

"You won't tell anyone, will you? No one at all?"

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 06:10 am UTC (link)
"I won't tell."

Despite Isabelle's good intentions, Ellie suddenly felt slightly used. She visibly deflated, clutching her glass and swallowing fitfully, trying to hold back the tears that were springing to her eyes.

"No one at all," she assured the older girl with a slight sob. Twice in one day, she'd put herself out there and been put firmly in the friend box. Perhaps it would be best for everyone if she just stuck to asking celebrities for copies of their more risque photos, like she had with London the night before.

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 06:14 am UTC (link)
Isabelle couldn't understand she'd done wrong. She frowned at Ellie's reaction and set her own glass aside. She scooted over, closer to the other girl, but refrained from touching her just yet. Her hand hovered, though, ready to offer comfort.

"I... What is it?" She asked, fretting slightly. "I'm not... I'm new at this, did I do something?"

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 06:16 am UTC (link)
"I just..." Ellie hesitated. the last thing she wanted was to make Isabelle feel pressured into anything. "It's like I said. I fancy you. And I invited you here the other week and took you out to my island, and we swam together and I cooked for you. And then you came here today and you trusted me with this, and I just thought..."

She wiped her eyes. "I thought that maybe, for once in my life, someone might fancy me back, was all."

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 06:22 am UTC (link)
Isabelle was silent for a full minute. The hand that hovered near Ellie slowly drifted down to settle back in Isabelle's lap. She thought this over, studying the bedspread.

"Oh," she said at last, her voice quiet. "It's..." She ran her tongue over her lower lip. "It's just not easy for me, you know?" She looked up, seeking Ellie's gaze. "I'm not sure I can just... jump right to the next step. I'm not saying that I never will, I just... I altered the entire course of my life, it feels like, and that's huge..."

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 06:29 am UTC (link)
"I get it," Ellie said softly. "I mean you barely know me. It was a little much for me to expect that you'd just want to jump into being my girlfriend after one kiss."

She looked Isabelle in the eye. "Look..." she began nervously. "You liked that. I liked it. We both know you're... not ready for anything more. So if you wanted to just... do that again, while we're here... we could." She shrugged. "It's not over until you leave, after all. Nothing would change. We'd still be friends, and I'd still know everything you told me. There'd just... be a handful of extra kisses, is all."

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 06:36 am UTC (link)
Isabelle chewed on the inside of her cheek as she considered. She gave a nervous little laugh. It wasn't a bad idea...

"I just... I don't want to hurt you, you know?" She said quietly. "I don't want to take advantage of you..." She let out a slow breath, searching Ellie's expression. The offer was so tempting and she should probably say no...

"Though... since you know that..." When had she gotten so close?

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 06:40 am UTC (link)
"I'm fine," Ellie breathed. "I get it. I understand. I just... want to be close to you for a little bit."

She was leaning in closer at the same time Isabelle was, almost meeting her in the middle. "Since we're here," she continued. "And since it already happened once..."

Taking matters into her own hands, she closed the distance and kissed the older girl firmly.

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 06:48 am UTC (link)
Isabelle's brain wanted to say no. There were logical parts of her that thought this was wrong, diving into the arms of the first girl who showed interest simply because she could. Hurt feelings lay down that road.

For the moment, though, there was nothing but rapid-fire nerve impulses in her body. Years of repression, loneliness, and need had been stirred up with her earlier monologue and were driving logical thinking away.

She returned Ellie's kiss with enthusiasm, wrapping her arms around the other girl's shoulders and pulling her close. Her lips worked, tasting, exploring. It remained chaste. Part of her was afraid that, if she let herself go, she might not know when to stop.

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 06:55 am UTC (link)
Ellie knew she shouldn't let things get out of hand, but she couldn't resist parting her lips and attempting to deepen the kiss. She shifted closer in response to being pulled, finally losing her balance slightly and half straddling Isabelle's lap.

"Sorry," she mumbled, taking a risk and pressing her lips to the girl's neck gently. "Isabelle," she murmured, between soft kisses. "Maybe... maybe you should go."

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 07:09 am UTC (link)
A sound of pure need escaped Isabelle at the deepening of the kiss. She wound her fingers into Ellie's hair and matching the intensity. She could feel the growing warmth in her belly that urged her on.

She tilted her head back, allowing Ellie more room at her throat. She made a nonsensical sound in response to the apology. She groaned a bit at the suggestion that she go, but she really couldn't disagree with it.

"You're probably right," she mumbled.

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 07:16 am UTC (link)
"Probably," Ellie agreed, kissing her way up from Isabelle's throat to the soft skin behind her ear. "You sound... really hot when you do that."

She went in for one last kiss, crushing their lips together. For as long as she dared, she kissed the older girl with passion, tongue darting out and tasting Isabelle's mouth before she sat back, panting.

"Nngh," she said, slightly dazed.

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 07:26 am UTC (link)
As Ellie's lips touched the skin below Isabelle's ear, she made the sound again, though louder. Her hand tightened in the other girl's hair. She did not want to stop touching her.

At the kiss, the most glorious, magical, electric kiss to date, Isabelle let out a groan of pure need and pulled in close, opening her mouth and returning the deep kiss, her own tongue joining the ballet.

It was maybe seconds, maybe hours before Ellie broke the kiss, leaving Isabelle gasping and whimpering in disappointment. She could only nod her agreement. She reached up to wipe delicately at her mouth with her fingers.

She really should go...

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 07:30 am UTC (link)
Eyes wide, chest heaving, Ellie regarded Isabelle. "So... you're going, right?" she asked uncertainly. "Like... leaving?"

She bit her lip. "Cos if you don't, I'm going to do that again," she declared boldly. "That was... that was hot and I want to do it again, so if you don't disapparate in three seconds, I'm going to kiss you again. A-and maybe even... touch you."

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 07:37 am UTC (link)
Three seconds was not a lot of time to decide. Especially when the decision was between going home to her own, empty bedroom and less confusion and staying here with a warm body who wanted her.

"I don't think my legs will work," she managed, "I may just have to stay..." She shifted forward, slinking onto hands and knees to approach Ellie, that wild look of need in her eye. "Even if I know I shouldn't..."

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 07:45 am UTC (link)
"Too late," Ellie giggled, and she let herself fall back against the pillows, tugging Isabelle on top of her for another smoldering kiss. Tentatively she let her hands drift down Isabelle's back to her backside, squeezing gently.

Every moan, every whimper out of Isabelle's mouth left her feeling out of control, needy and hot. Really, she knew they should have stopped after the first one, but Ellie hadn't ever had this, had someone who was just as anxious for contact with her, as she was with them.

She sucked on Isabelle's lower lip, grazing with her teeth lightly before releasing it. "This isn't stopping," she remarked unnecessarily. "This... this is more like... continuing."

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 08:02 am UTC (link)
If she didn't stop soon, she probably wasn't going to, and Isabelle wasn't sure she could deal with the emotional consequences. Stopping, though, was easier said than done. Ellie's hands were everywhere, touching and manipulating, driving Isabelle forward.

She straddled the other girl, pressing close and opening her mouth for a deep, heated kiss while her hand tentatively explored up Ellie's ribcage.

"Mm," Isabelle agreed. "We really should quit.." She broke the kiss to shift and latch onto Ellie's neck, tasting the soft skin there.

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 08:08 am UTC (link)
"Yeah. I mean... we'll see each other again," Ellie said, letting out a high pitched whimper at the lips on her neck. "We're still friends, even though we're not dating, right?. We're just... friends who made out a little, that's all."

She arched her back a little, unconsciously pressing herself into Isabelle's hand.

Something about what she'd said stuck in her head though. Just friends. Just like Laura had said to her. And then she'd pushed, and Laura hadn't wanted to be friends anymore. "Isabelle," she said softly, squirming underneath her. "Stop. We need to stop."

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 08:12 am UTC (link)
"Right," Isabelle agreed, removing her lips from Ellie's neck long enough to let the word out before returning to work on the soft skin. Her thumb was exploring upward in slow circles, searching, kneading. She was losing herself to the sensation of it.

At the sound of her name, she initially grinned and pulled a bit of Ellie's skin between her teeth, thinking it encouragement. But then Ellie was protesting, doing and saying the thing that Isabelle should have ages ago.

She broke the contact with Ellie's neck and pushed herself up onto her hands, still straddling the other girl. "Right," she said, gasping. "It's... not a good idea..."

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[info]elliebee
2012-08-28 08:21 am UTC (link)
Ellie struggled to sit up, pressing soft kisses against Isabelle's mouth. "You're... the best kisser I've ever kissed..." she said softly. "But... we have to stop. It's too fast, too much."

Finally she just ended in hugging Isabelle tightly. "We can be friends, right?" she said hopefully. "Even if you... don't like me like that?"

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[info]secret_me
2012-08-28 08:26 am UTC (link)
Isabelle kissed Ellie back, gently and tenderly, much different than the last few minutes. "Agreed. On all counts," she murmured.

She remained sitting astride Ellie as she received the hug, returning it tightly, more a gesture of friendship than lust. "Of course," she said, "absolutely."

She pulled back to kiss Ellie on the forehead before reluctantly sliding off and getting to her feet. She really hoped that they could be friends and that this little adventure wouldn't ruin things somewhere down the road.

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