22nd May 2005 • The Wizarding World's Beguiling Broadsheet of Choice • 5 κ
PLOT DEFOGGED:
PROMINENT PUREBLOODS NAMED
By Rita Skeeter, Senior Investigator
Last week, our brave Aurors courageously put their lives on the line to protect our beloved Minister Diggory. Thanks to an anonymous tipster, the Department of Magical Law Enforcement was cued in on the existence of a twisted scheme to assassinate the Ministry of Magic's prominent figurehead. Their timely intervention snipped the head of this flowering nightshade plant before it could bloom, but the wizarding world was left with one looming question -- just who could have conceived such an unthinkable act?
A week later, the murk surrounding this dark plot begins to clear. Through my own tireless efforts to get to the truth, I bring my sweet readers answers. The Ministry has trusted me to release the names of two conspirators thought to be involved in this ill-conceived attempt on Minister Diggory's life. Witches and gentlewizards, brace yourselves for the betrayal. Despite the Minister's generosity and understanding in all things, two ex-Hogwarts graduates are so snide and so arrogant to think themselves untouchable. Let it be known that I, along with my coworkers at the Prophet and all of Britain, have just one thing to say to that:
You are wrong, Blaise Zabini and Daphne Greengrass. Very, very wrong.
In what is becoming a disturbing trend, we find that the two culprits on the top of the Ministry's short list of names are both from so-called pure lineage. As an invesigator of a more well-documented
professional pedigree, this witch has to ask: are the rumours true? Are Pureblood witches and wizards incapable of the same level of compassion for humanity? Are they deranged or somehow mentally and emotionally handicapped? If so, perhaps we must take caution not to hasten to conclusions. Perhaps these young witches and wizards, like Mr. Zabini and Ms. Greengrass, need our sympathy. Perhaps they should be promptly relocated to the care of the wonderful staff at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries?
My contacts at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement are sadly unable to pin any direct involvement on these two young miscreants at this time. But I am assured that every measure is being taken to see that justice is served. To better protect the community, both delinquants have been safely transported to the Ministry for detainment and further questioning. As the fog clears, the Prophet will continue to cover this wretched tale. But one thing is certain -- Mr. Zabini and his lovely assistant (as we at the Prophet can only assume that Ms. Greengrass was not the brains behind this scheme, considering her N.E.W.T. marks) were too daft for the brilliant minds at the Ministry.
Not this time, our pure would-be villains. Not this time.
This Saturday: Minister Diggory will address the plot against his life and other concerns at a special programme in front of the Ministry.