Lavender hadn't expected the anger but she wasn't exactly surprised by it. "No! I don't know! I'm saying it because I don't deserve to be here like this! I don't know where I am and I'm not treating you right! You should be letting me! You shouldn't be letting me crawl into your bed when I've been out searching for Michael for hours! I'm in a fucked up place right now and I told you I can't give you what you need and you just don't believe me!" She could feel the tears coming to her eyes and she hated herself for it. Emotional though she was, she hated people who cried to manipulate people and feared it would be perceived that way. Her next words were still just as emotional but less angry and more desperate. "You have been so good to me and I hate myself for it. You have done everything perfectly and you have stood here, been here this whole bloody week from hell and I'm out- I'm treating you like this. It's not right." Her voice was growing hoarse from emotion and yelling and she sounded strained at best.
"Well I won't! Not if we're together. Probably not if we're not together. I'm not that kind of person. I may do some horrible and selfish things but not that. I don't cheat. Ever." Finally her eyes raised to his, determination and stubbornness shining from behind their wetness.
The question wasn't as easy to answer as she thought it should have been. "I want you to do what's right for you. I'm a mess. You shouldn't drag yourself down with it." That didn't mean she wanted him to leave. It meant that she thought he should.
"I told you you didn't want to come here tonight," she said bitterly.