"Well you could do it my way and just head out to the club," she teased. However as Susan quieted down and started studying her pizza, a move Lavender was all-too-familiar with she raised a brow. "What's that all about? Oh look at me! I've been blubbering on. How are you? Merlin."
Lavender snorted and gave a nod of her head. "No kidding. Though I think Mikey is the only one in our year I've slept with in a long time..." Not that that really made things better.
"But I really messed things up. I wasn't thinking right. I've tried to tell him and he- I thought he was listening but I don't know, when I saw him after the hospital he didn't seem- things weren't okay. And now-" Now it wouldn't be the same ever again and now she wanted it to be more than ever. It was slowly turning into something that she was bearing quietly though, as if she'd resigned herself to loving him without him knowing or caring for the rest of her life.
Lavender shook her head. "I don't want to trap him. I don't want to give him more reasons to resent me." She took a deep breath. It was all complicated. "I think I want to be a single mum," she told Susan. "It's really the only way. I'll tell them. They deserve to know, but this is it, yeah?"