30th June 2005 • The Wizarding World's Beguiling Broadsheet of Choice • 5 κ
ST ATTACK IN LONDON!
By Elveric Dinton, Reporter
Junior Assistant Assaulted
LONDON -- In an ugly move for anti-Ministry sentiments, Junior Assistant Robert Stebbins was assaulted Friday by anarchist and known Suspected Terrorist Michael Corner. Prior to their obliviation, Muggle witnesses to the crime testified that Stebbins' evening stroll through Kensington Gardens, a Muggle Park in West London, was disrupted when Corner attacked him unannounced. Though Stebbins attempted to defend himself, it was only through the intervention of the Magical Army of Britain, alerted to Corner's movements by his post-curfew apparation, that the assault was halted and Corner subdued. Department of Magical Law Enforcement Officials have gone on record to state that this attack was undoubtedly political in nature, and though he has been charged for common assault,the attitude of the Department suggests that without Army influence a significantly more brutal outcome may have occurred.
Despite the shocking nature of this crime, representatives for the Minister and for Robert Stebbins told the Daily Prophet that they were pleased with the work the Department of Magical Law Enforcement has done. "Because of the steps taken to insure that Suspected ________________
Terrorists are carefully monitored," said one aide,"Corner was quickly stopped and apprehended. The Minister is grateful for the quick response to this crime." An insider to the Ministry reported that Corner was treated with all due respect, regardless of his actions, even being allowed visitation by esteemed healer Augustus Pye to see to a minor injury inflicted during capture. "We
certainly treat them better than they treat us," said our insider.
The maximum sentencing for assault is typically six months in Azkaban, but a Wizengamot scribe informed us that the Wizengamot was in talks with Minister Diggory to discuss a possible mixed sentence. "The Ministry wants to see these criminals rehabilitated," she said, off the record. "We'd like to see them give back to the community. I don't know if that's possible, but it has been discussed."
Robert Stebbins, recovering from his injuries, expressed his appreciation for the support of the Ministry and insisted that, in spite of the attack, he was not afraid to continue on as the Junior Assistant. "I love my work. It's unfortunate that politics have to be so volatile, but we have to persevere."