Aeotha was staring down at her hand, it felt weak even as she tightened her hand into a fist around the bandage. Aeotha would have given just about anything to use magic right now, even if it was pointless against a bunch of immortals. Simply having it made her feel useful, here without it Aeotha was feeling bare. Naked in a way that she couldn't get around. Without magic what was she? Was she still a Priestess because she felt like praying? Was she still herself without it? Aeotha had been using magic for nearly all of her life. Those few years without the aid of magic were those she could hardly recall. The memories that lingered of that time were those of her mother and the warmth of the hearth in their home. Spending hours cooking, or hours mending something. They were not unpleasant memories, but they stung as much as any memory of her family did. She hadn't gone back.
She kept making excuses. That her mother wouldn't want to see her because she was the reason she was missing a son, and a husband. Her brother wouldn't want to see her for the same reason, he was missing a brother and a father because Aeotha had gotten in over her head. Seeking out greatness in the court of a King when she should have sought out the closeness only a family could provide. Without magic she could remember what it was like being nothing but a common girl without a cause, without a mission. She did not like that. Did that mean she did everything for greatness, or glory? Aeotha didn't think that's what it meant, but anyone could have easily drawn that line if they knew her thoughts.
Aeotha looked up as he laughed.
"It feels as though I've lost something dear to me. Magic is.. I won't lie, it's a force, and it can be dangerous and helpful. But I've nearly always had magic, always used magic, and without it I feel less than I am. Less than I should be. I can't even heal my hand, I can't bring about light in the darkness. I feel useless." She said quietly and seriously. She could not laugh. It was how she felt. She was not trained to work this way, not trained to fight without it.
She could use her staff, and was taught to kill with it. But she was taught to change the tides with magic. To win wars with it. To defeat those which were evil in the eyes of Lorien. Aeotha closed her hand again and looked away from him. She was looking at the rope hanging there. There was no easy way out of this. She would have to do it without magic, without the aid of Lorien. What she felt was small, and the memory of watching those Priestesses as a girl came to the front of her mind. That's why she'd left her home. Because she wanted to be more than this.