Vedette Niveue-Uthral (in_the_service) wrote in adusta, @ 2009-11-30 23:53:00 |
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Entry tags: | ithacles, vedette uthral |
where to begin (ithacles)
Every bit of light assaulted her senses day in and day out since she'd waken up alone in her room with the door fastened shut so well that not even the servants could get in. Oh how they'd pounded on the door the next day. Every thump reminded her that she had left herself get carried away in her emotions far too much. It was easy to make excuses for the tightly closed door. Many people were sick during the long winter stay in Faustben, and servants would always believe the ever honest Captain Uthral. She felt the guilt heavily in her chest when she sent them kindly on their way and then proceeded to find anything to fill the day in the room while it was light outside.
No one else knocked, not even Ithacles. But if he had what would she have told him? What could she have said to him?
Saying sorry when you weren't really sorry didn't mean a damn thing.
She wouldn't have meant it, she wasn't sorry for the lingering taste he'd left on her lips. Of the feeling that assaulted both her chest and the warmth that spread through her when she thought about that night. But she had to keep herself away from him. Had to. And it worked very well for about a week. Being sick for a week was fine, but more than that and she'd have healers pounding heavily on her door under direct orders from the King, the Prince, or the Queen. When the week was up she left her room and sought the open snow covered lawns of the castle. There she could continue her training under the eyes of Alvon, or perhaps one of the other captains. She didn't have to see Ithacles.
She could have told Ithunvel some lie. She could have found her way around a mission that included Ithacles. But she didn't want to. She had to face him sometime. She could just act like it didn't happen and keep herself from thinking about him in the cellar. She could blame it on the wine but then she wouldn't be able to look him in the eye.
The mission was simple enough. During the winter members of the royal family visited some of the outer reaching villages to make sure they had enough supplies. They wouldn't be along, there were a good ten to fifteen men that always accompanied the party. Some had horses that were packed down with supplies, and others, like Vedette's, which were packed with weaponry. Some men on foot, and others that would go ahead to make sure the passes were clear enough and safe enough for them. The only problem was that when they went on trips like this they had a lot of time to talk amongst themselves... Normally this meant Ithacles and Vedette were free to talk to each other.
But now.
Just as she'd finished saddling his horse she heard him walk in. Her very keen years could tell his steps from the others. They said prince. But if she told him that he might be insulted and decide he needed to learn to walk a different way. She hardly turned her head but nodded it in acknowledgment. "Your horse, your majesty."
She should not have left all the alcohol she'd accumulated in her room behind. She really was going to need it now.