It would be easy to be sad today. Easier still to be bitter. I'm not either. Despite the fact that I'm alone, as I've been for almost every Valentine's Day, I'm feeling hopeful today. I didn't get what I'd hoped for, and I don't even believe that my hopes were terribly high. But it's okay. It's all part of the letting go process, and I think I'm making progress with it. I have hopes, to be sure, but they're reasonable hopes, and I'm not falling apart because they weren't realized. It would have been so easy, and that's what makes the letting go easier. It would have been so easy and you didn't rise to the challenge. The fault lies with you, not me, and I honestly believe that now. I can see it now. Instead of wallowing in what I wished for, I decided to write out a list of what I want. And what I'm trying to believe I deserve. Maybe seeing it in writing will help me to go after it.

I want someone who knows that sometimes the words are important. Simple words that don't take long to say, but that can have a lasting impact. Happy Valentine's Day. I love you. Short sentences, long meaning.

I want someone who will sit with me on the couch and watch a movie. And will then drag me off the couch to go for a bike ride. I want someone who will hold my hand and smile at me for no reason other than being happy to be with me.

I want someone who doesn't ask me to quit smoking, but makes me want to do it anyway.

I want someone who wants to plan trips to places neither of us has been. I want someone who wants to be with me, but who wants to be alone sometimes, too.

I want someone who pushes me, who accepts my opinions but who also makes me think about different perspectives. I want someone who challenges me in some way every single day.

I want someone who will love me even first thing in the morning when I'm not very loveable.

I want to feel the weight of someone's skin against mine and feel safe and turned on instead of afraid. I want someone who will let me rest my head on their shoulder.

I want someone who will write me something that's just mine.

I want someone whose mind wanders to me at random times throughout the day. I want someone who's thinking about me right now.

Do you think I am asking too much?