Why Do All Good Things... Characters: Logan and Rogue Location: Mansion garage Timeline: Flashbackery! After Danger Room and Bobby Rejections! Description: Truce? Can you help me then?
There was a lot going on in her mind this last week. No doubt gossip of her skipping her D.R. exam had circulating through most of the school by now. But only to add insult to injury she had recently set a new record on the school's hedge maze obstacle course. There were whispered rumors about debates whether or not it would be valid in the advant of her insubordination. There were also certain elements...in heard details regarding her last Danger Room session that only had been shared with a few select individuals. At least on Rogue's end at least, who confided in her boyfriend about what really had happened. And when Iceman started to throw words out like 'abuse', it worried her to say the least. That wasn't the case at all, nothing could be further from the truth.
Wishing to clear the air she approached her mentor on one of his free hours where she knew she would find him. She entered the garage slowly, not very eager to do this. She peaked over the assorted cars and spied a glance at him as he worked on one of his side projects before deciding on closing the distance. She hovered for a moment, not wishing to disturb him, letting silence linger between them. Finding the opportunity when he set one tool down and retrieved another she spoke. "Uh...hi.." she began hesitantly.
Over the past few days, when he wasn't instructing, Logan had taken to repairing one of the vehicles in the massive garage of the mansion. It was one of those 'Let's see if there's still life in this old thing' projects.
The car in question, a classic rust colored mustang from the '70s currently had it's engine out on the floor. Most of the old parts that were under the hood had been gutted. Logan must have really been intent on this side project - sometimes even mechanical work helped to ease everyday stresses.
Word of Rogue's recent achievements had reached him already. Logan had even known of those rumors that were going around, which were nothing that bothered him in the slightest... Currently, he was near elbow deep in old grease and oil from tearing the car apart. A small and dinky radio (it must have been his) nearby was playing some heavy metal tune from the glory days of the 1980s.
After Rogue made her presence known (even though he already knew she was there), a gruff sound came from the hood of the car. "What's up, kiddo?" Logan addressed her without taking a moment to pause from his work to look up at her.
She watched him work, obviously having taken keen interest in the subject of mechanics wanting to see what it was he was doing. Rogue found him a kindred spirit with his 'no frills' attitude. When her mind was so turbulent, she supposed she liked his directness. Rogue always knew exactly where she stood with Logan, even as their friendship deteriorated. "Are y'busy," she asked quietly. She knew he was livid and didn't want to be a further irritant. The possibility that she might get a chance to flee was obviously had nothing to do with it.... It was good that this was happening though. She needed someone to nail her down once in a while. The prompt action secured her no matter how unbearable. Or else she could spend her whole life running away.
"Ah don't want t'be bortherin' you." She fell silent for a brief moment while she collected her words. Rogue knew he wasn't the touchy-feely sort of type and avoided getting over emotional in his presence, but she continued. "Ah was wonderin' if we could talk."
Even when his head dipped downwards and he was set on concentrating on the task before him, a curious brow twitches upwards with her - meekness.
Logan stood up from the car, taking to stretching a bit after having been hunched over for so long, and he then wiped the sweat and grease from his dirty brow with the side of his forearm. "You're not bothering me, Rogue." He actually needed a break from working on the car. While the scent of the oil and rust was heavy on his side of the garage, not allowing him to smell her discomfort, Logan was able to see it clearly in her body language. "What's on your mind?" He asked her in a blunt manner.
Rogue held herself, wrapping her arms over her chest as she waited for permission to continue. "Ah feel like Ah am," she confided. "Lately, Ah mean." Her brows furrowed together, hoping she was making sense and obviously distressed about the matter in general. A hesitant step was taken forward, getting closer so she could be heard. "Ah guess Ah'm just confused about what happened?" He was just putting her in her place with tough love right? There weren't any nefarious motives behind it, right? Her fingers flicked upwards into her hair line, scrubbing the back of her neck. "An' you bein' mad at me fer the rest of my life, is somethin' Ah don't reckon ah want happenin'."
Logan's brow lowered to Rogue's questions. He moved to the nearby workbench, turning down the radio, grabbing a rag for him to wipe the grit off of his hands and arms, and then he kicked out a stool for her to sit on.
"Sit," he ordered lowly.
There was only a brief pause before Logan started. "I don't know why you're confused, kiddo..." He paused for a moment, taking the time to replay the events of the danger room within his mind. Yeah, he was a bit harsh on her, but she had gotten to that bad nerve of his with her 'I didn't feel like it' attitude. Any other excuse as to why she didn't take her exam would have suited, even as a lie, he would have let her slide a bit better.
"Look, I run a tight ship around here, and it ain't for my benefit. That exam you were supposed to take, the one that you missed because you didn't feel like taking it - thats there for your benefit. The training is there for a reason. You kids have to learn how to deal with combat situations without the need or dependency of your powers."
"We've got lots of enemies out there, Rogue. Its my job... Its our job to make sure you guys are prepared for the cold reality that's outside of these gates." Logan shook his head in a calm manner. "I don't hate you. I hate the fact that you lied to me and the truth was that you didn't feel like going. One day you're going to need that training, especially with your powers, and you're not gonna know what to do, because you missed that exam."
She blinked blankly at the stool thrust towards her. Having no other option but to obey, Rogue lowered herself quickly onto its surface. She tried to keep an open mind and listen to what he was saying. She was really good about knowing which buttons to push and when, but maybe things had gone a bit out of hand. "I didn't feel like it" was really all it boiled down to, but it might just had been a bit more complicated than all of that. She inhaled a breath, not expelling it until he was completely finished. When he worded it like that, it made Rogue start to think about things a little differently.
"Ah know, it was been really irresponsible." She was having a hard time correcting that one. Rogue always appeared to be too reckless. "Ah mean, no excuses fer what I did," it wasn't quite an apology, but it was a start." She paused again, falling quiet for a long moment. "But Ah can't help bein' angry at you." It was true too. And she certainly had some brass kahunahs for saying it. "You kind of just beat me up. Just like that, no bother.," she was still sore - physically and mentally.
"Then be angry at me," Logan easily shrugged off as he leaned against the workbench. He didn't have time to deal with the emotional needs of every student here at the mansion, there were others for that. "I'm not going to take back what I did that day. And if you ask me down the line if you deserved it, you know what, you did. You brought it on yourself, Rogue."
"I didn't fuckin' beat you up." Dark eyes rolled in their sockets. "Do you know how many safety protocols I changed just for you with that damn program? You're bruised, you're sore, welcome to the reality of fighting for your life."
Logan crossed his arms in front of his chest and took the time to examine her before he let out a mirthful sort of laugh and went on. "That program, that shit was real. Thankfully, and unthankfully, it happened to me and I was able to handle it. If you got caught in that situation - and I don't want to hear the," he added in an exaggerated mocking tone, "It'll never happen to me!" Pause. "Because it can. It can happen to any of you kids. You couldn't handle it... Given, you did pretty damn good for your level, but if those bullets were real, if those guards were really looking for blood, you'd be dead."
"Stop thinking of it as bullying. Start thinking of it as a painful example of what could happen since you're not trained and didn't take that exam of yours."
Her hand covered her mouth, having to feel her face, everything felt numb. She couldn't help but feel outraged, but made subtle her expression of it. All she did was put herself in his position, she was offended when he didn't even consider hers. Her position was unwaivering, wanting to see if he (who she considered a friend) knew nothing about her at all. She was coming into her own and she regarded Wolverine in a different light, no longer with wide eyed nativity. "Ah get it, Ah really do," she reiterated. "Because it scared me, but not 'cause it was terrifyin' but Ah was scared 'cause Ah actually know how absolutely, fuckin', frightnin' it was." She cursed openly to express the seriousness of her words. "Like first hand. An' Ah dont' think y'take that in to account. Ever. An' there's all that, then Ah got my own...issues," she said for lack of better word. "It scares me for the sake of me."
"Welcome to how I felt during those times," Logan offered lowly. He probably didn't even need to tell her, she had already absorbed his powers and personality once before.
He shifted his weight slightly before adding lowly, with a semblance of sympathy, "It was meant to scare you. Ain't gonna lie and say that it wasn't. I know you're a tough kid, Rogue. You pull your weight around here more than most other students. Half the time I have to sniff 'em out and drag them into the danger room for lessons." Maybe cause they're scared of him? "But you can't be all belligerent. Sometimes its good, and it'll help you at the moment. But when you're dealing with an instructor, people that are trying to help you, canning the attitude will get you a bit farther than you'd think."
He paused for a moment, smirking slightly. "Then again, kissing the instructors asses won't get you very far either... Unless its Summers, or something..."
It was nice to have her ego stroked a little and she laughed quietly at his joke, but her expression saddened once more. Her hands fell to the side, body language shifting. "Ah don't want to be you," she said bluntly. "Ah don't want my head just filled with all of yer memories. Ah just feel like Ah'm on a slippery slope an' Ah'm tellin' you this because Ah do want your help. Yer opinion is really important to me. But Ah don't want to be you. Ah don't think that's what yer tryin' to do neither. Ah just want t'lead my life the way Ah see fit. Ah thought you'd be able to understand that. Cause Ah'd like to think that you get me an' where Ah'm comin' from.
"This growin' up stuff sucks," she admitted bluntly, it seemed appropriate.
"Not like, Bobby," she added, hinting that there was other things causing her strife. "Sometimes Ah don't think he gets it at all. Like, you get what its like to have yer mind feel like it doesn't belong to you."
He understood where she was coming from. One thing that could be said about Logan and Rogue, they were similar. Wandering and scared spirits that found each other, that know about pain, loss, and what its like to be tormented mentally...
"I wouldn't want you to be like me, or anyone for that matter, kiddo." Deep down, Logan didn't wish that curse on anyone. To know that everyone he loves and cares for will one day die and he'll still be around, wandering aimlessly, still searching for something he can't have. He hated to think of it.
The sentiment on growing up isn't shared. Hell, it was over one hundred years ago since Logan was a teenager, and he still doesn't remember his time as one. "Its hard for people that ain't us to understand what its like. They don't get how restricted we really are when it comes to certain things, like with your powers," and his damned emotions. "Don't take it out on him, Rogue. He just doesn't understand." Bobby was a teenage boy. Immature, with their minds on only one real thing, and they all went through that 'I'm better than you' tough guy stage of hormonal overload.
"What is it that you want my help with?" Logan then asked her in a sincere manner. "Where do you feel like you're slipping?"
"Ah can't help it...Ah just feel like Ah'm the one whose spinnin' their wheels. An' he makes me so mad. Its like he's not willing to try." How could he be? She could actually kill him, her powers were no laughing matter. "Ah don't know, Ah've just been really ...bummed about things. Yer helpin' me now, Ah think though. Just listenin'," Rogue nodded. "Ah dont' think Ah'm ever gonna be able to control these powers. Ah'm just tryin' to figure things out. What am Ah doin' with my life?" She asked him quite seriously. "Ah sure as heck ain't know. There's all these things that Ah don't reckon that're ever gonna happen - does that make sense? Am Ah just gonna be an X-Man for the rest of my life?" Her green hues lifted to the gruff features of his face, searching for understanding.
A hand raised, halting her on anymore details between her and Bobby. "Little too much info there, Sport." Not that he really cared what went on between the personal lives of others, but these were students. Logan didn't need to know details about sexual frustration.
So, she's shit outta luck on the advice about sex and getting Bobby to move along at her pace - females at the mansion could help with that, in his opinion.
"Rogue," Logan started lowly. "You're asking the wrong person about the future and destiny." He shook his head, brow furrowing a bit. "Not saying that you can't get deep, but you're asking someone with a brain like swiss cheese that still doesn't understand why he does things." He approached her and placed a now clean hand upon her shoulder, lightly this time, certain that she'd be sore still from the last time he grabbed her there during her last training session with him.
"Only you can answer those questions for yourself. What makes you happy? What makes you actually enjoy life, gives you a sense of freedom and belonging? When you figure that out, keep those things close to you and don't let them go. Don't piss all over opportunities when they arise... As far as an X-Man, Chuck's dream ain't for everyone, neither is the gung-ho attitude our little team has. You don't have to be an X-Man for shit, that's a choice for you to decide. Just don't get brainwashed into any bullshit. Think for yourself, keep your head out of the clouds, and you'll be safe."
His hand moved to her covered back where he patted her gently. "You're a tough kid, you can handle anything life throws at you... You think I'd be able to toss someone like half those first year, even second year students in that danger room scenario without them running out, crying for their moms?" Logan smirked. "And we'll try to help you with your powers, whatever it takes. Okay, kiddo?"
She glanced over her shoulder at him as his hand came to rest their and her posture relaxed some. "Ah think....Ah gotta lotta thinkin' to do," Rogue said in summation. She hazard a glance upward at him and smiled. "Thanks."
"No problem, Rogue," Logan started, still smirking at her side. "Grats on the record breaking. You're not totally broken yet."