7wildwaysup (7wildwaysup) wrote in _love_qaf_fic, @ 2010-11-28 10:00:00 |
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Current location: | Alternative Universe |
Current mood: | artistic |
Entry tags: | 513 part two... chapter one, fics..., stuck in... |
513 Part two... Chapter One
Stuck In… a series of little porn fics
513 Part two... Chapter One
Title: Stuck in a Moment of Insanity…
Story Type: AU
Word Count: 2495
Rating: R
Warnings: Passion and Lust…
Summary: 513 Part two... the lost footage of what really happened after Justin left for the airport...
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable charters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…
JUSTIN’S POV
It’s the middle of the night; I’m sad, lonely, cold, depressed and full of regrets… What am I doing here? How did I get here? How did my whole life change so fast? Why did I let other people tell me what’s best for me and not trust my own instincts? They don’t know me… they don’t know what’s best for me. They don’t understand me… They never did… they never even tried…
So here I wait… I’m always waiting… waiting for my life to start… I hate waiting… I hate waiting here at the airport, waiting in this crowd of people… I hate crowds… I hate people… I hate airports, and most of all I hate myself… Always the good boy going out of my way to please everyone, so polite… Yes, everyone expects great things from me; expects me to go off and become someone great… Become someone else, someone new and improved, not the damaged little twink that wouldn’t leave… Yet here I am leaving again… I always seem to be leaving him…
God, I can’t breathe… I need fresh air… I need a cigarette… I need a drink… I need a reality check… My mind drifts; the crowd around me swells and flows… Time seems to stand still and yet I feel like I’ve been here for hours, maybe even days… I think I may have fallen asleep as I wake up, unsure of exactly where I am… I feel a panic attack coming on and I need to be outside in the fresh air… I make my way out of the airport but I’m all twisted around and everything looks strange and distorted…
I wave down a cab and ask them to take me into the city; I would say I’ve been up all night but I obviously just woke up and I’m still groggy. My breathing is more under control and I seem to be feeling calmer. I think I just needed to get away from the crowd; they really do make me nervous and paranoid. What was I thinking, moving to a huge, crowded city where I don’t know anyone? It’s actually humorous thinking about it… It’s completely stupid and immature; a little child running away to join the circus… because someone said I painted a pretty picture… How pathetic, I really need a drink.
It’s very early in the morning, that time of day just before the sun rises and everything takes on an eerie glow. The city is so calm it’s almost peaceful until I see out the corner of my eye a lot of activity going on up ahead and that some of the streets are closed. I ask the cabbie what’s going on and he tells me they’re setting up for the Farmer’s Market. He asks if I’ve ever been and if I’d like to stop. He lets me out and I start to stroll through the open market. I’m impressed by all the different vendors setting up before dawn.
It’s so much more than a Farmers Market. Besides having every kind of fruit, vegetable and plant imaginable there is fresh fish, and a meat market, cheeses and fresh eggs, confectionery, coffee and teas, baked goods, jewelry, clothes, arts and crafts - just about everything you could want… I wander around, drinking a latte and think about what I want…
What do I want? Who do I want to be when I grow up? What was I thinking? I’ve always known what I want, and who I am… so why did I let all this craziness happen… and what do I do now? Wandering around the city, it seems like I’ve been walking for miles as I watch the sun come up over the city skyline. It’s incredibly beautiful. The sunrise is full of pink, purple and orange… Such a beautiful start of the first day of my new life…
Fuck them…! Yeah. Fuck Them…! FUCK ALL OF THEM…!
IT’S MY LIFE, I GET TO DECIDE…
It’s still very early as I look down at my phone to see what time it is and notice I have a message. It’s from Brian; he left it at 12:10 am… I turn my phone back on, remembering that I turned it off so that we would have complete privacy for the last couple of hours we shared together… It broke my heart to walk out the door. He said ’It’s only time… if we see each other next week, next month or never again, it’s only time…’ I can’t stop the tears that are forming in the corners of my eyes…
I push the message button and listen quietly to the message… At first I didn’t hear anything and then I could only hear his ragged breathing and his deviated septum… Then I hear his very weak and shaky voice, he can hardly get the words out without his voice cracking… Finally in the lowest voice possible I hear him say those three little words… I had no idea how much I needed to hear those words, more than anything that I’ve ever needed to hear before in my life… He said Please Don’t Go…
My heart practical jumped out of my chest, as tears rolled down my cheeks… I notice the time, its 6:10 am exactly six hours since he left this message… and I’ve never felt so loved in my life… I reach forward and pull the heavy metal door open to the loft…
He’s passed out on the sofa… an empty bottle of ‘Jim Beam’ on the floor in front of him and an almost-empty one still clutched in his hand… The ashtrays on the coffee table are overflowing with cigarette butts and roaches… the place smells like a filthy bar and there seems to be hundreds of used Kleenex tissues everywhere, in every room…
I spend the next hour cleaning up the loft then I go and lay down with him on the sofa. It feels so good being held in his arms. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to have actually moved away from everything I’ve ever wanted… It was finally all those couples in that huge crowd that made me see what I was throwing away… There was a troop of army soldiers leaving to go off to Iraq and the fear and love and longing in their eyes told me what real sacrifice was… and I decided then and there that I wasn’t sacrificing anything, any more, for anyone…
He’s running his hands through my hair and grinding his erection into my hips… I think he’s dreaming; his pace is speeding up as he humps my thigh and fists my hair. He’s like a horny teenager so I decide to help him out as I unzip his fly and lower my mouth over his huge cock; just the sensation of my warm, wet mouth over his beautiful head makes him buck and thrust in and out of my mouth with abandon. He’s already way too far gone as I hear him cry out my name and shoot down my throat… As his breathing becomes more controlled I feel his body shaking and I think he may be crying again…
He’s somewhere between asleep and waking as I crawl up his body and lay my head on his chest, reaching up to wipe the tears away… His hand reaches out and takes mine as his eyes open up. We just stare into one another’s eyes, reading all the unspoken words that have lived there for so long. He’s looking at me like I’m a figment of his imagination and he doesn’t really believe that I’m here. I smile and say ‘I missed my flight’… He smiles back with that nervous smile where he pulls his lips back into his mouth…
Then I say ‘I had to reschedule my flight…’ his eyes almost go blank and his body stiffens underneath me. He starts to turn his head away from me, but I reach out and turn it back towards me as I say ‘I bought you a ticket as well and I expect you to come with me… I’m not going anywhere without you…’ He face is full of all kinds of emotions, he's scared and fearful but also happy and relieved. It’s like he can’t decide which one to allow himself to feel. This is all new for him, letting himself feel what he’s actually experiencing.
I run my fingers through his hair and brush my lips across his and tell him that I love him, and I hear him say ‘I love you too, Sunshine… I really do… Just promise me that you’ll never leave me again. I just can’t take it anymore… I was so fucking scared and I was sure I’d never see you again…’ I stare straight into his eyes and whisper ‘I promise…’
He buries his face in my hair and holds me tight, as he finally allows his tears to flow freely… I hold him close, kissing the side of his neck and shoulders, whispering to him to just let it all out. Let all his pain and fears go, to leave the past in the past… That together we can face anything our future throws our way just so long as we have each other…
Yes, it’s a beautiful day to start our new life… I slip out of his arms as he sleeps off last night’s bender. He looks so beautiful laying there as the sun flows through the large windows, illuminating him like a perfect sculpture from Roman times… I need to capture this on canvas, although I now also know that I want to explore putting his image in clay… I can’t believe that I’ve never explored working in that medium before…
He sits up fast, startled and looks at me with a strange expression on his face and says ‘What the fuck was that? The timer just went off.’ Once I stop laughing so hard I tell him that it was the oven as I get up to check on my shallot and wild mushroom quiche. He mumbles, ‘Fucking oven,’ but once he is accosted by the smell of his waiting breakfast he’s kissing the back of my neck and holding me with his arms around his waist. He tells me it smells great and that he’s starving… it must be all the alcohol in his system.
We eat breakfast and drink very strong French roast coffee, enjoying just waking up together. The headline across the newspaper reads; ‘Gays Proud in Hawaii as couples start taking their Vows…’ He notices an envelope with a purple ribbon tied around it sitting under a bouquet of ‘Birds of Paradise…’ He raises his eyebrows and takes the envelope in his hand, saying ‘What’s this?’ He opens the envelope and takes out two tickets to Hawaii scheduled to leave tonight at 8 pm.
I slip out of my seat and kneel in front of him, taking both his hands in mine. I didn’t think I’d be this nervous. I guess I know now how frightened he must have been. I clear my throat and say, ‘Brian, we’ve been through so much together and there were times I wasn’t sure we would survive. But we have and now I know there’s nothing we can’t survive.’ My bottom lip is quivering and my voice is close to breaking but somehow I get the words out. ‘I would be honored to have you as my husband if you’ll still have me? There absolutely nothing I want more than to be married to you, and spend my life with you.’
Tears are running down my face and I’m shaking as he reaches out, wiping them away, pulling me onto his lap and into his arms. He whispers in my ear that you had me at “We’ve been through so much together”. I look up at him and notice that he’s crying as well but he’s also smiling, we’re both smiling. I don’t think we’ve ever been this happy before.
He stands and carries me into the bedroom, gently laying me down on the bed. He’s kissing me on the top of my head and works his way down my neck and chest, taking a detour to make out with me for a few minutes until I start wiggling. Then he starts down my chest, playing with my nipples and driving me totally insane with pleasure. Continuing down my stomach he’s tickling me with his tongue as he rims my bellybutton and places wet kisses on the inside of my thighs. I’m getting so excited as my legs fall apart for him. He nuzzles his face into my bush as he kisses and nibbles around the base of my cock.
I’m so hard for him as my pre-cum bubbles from my slit and runs down my shaft. He takes advantage of my self-lubrication, working his hand up and down my penis as he licks and sucks my balls gently in his mouth. He has the most talented mouth that ever existed and I’m so glad it belongs to me and only me from now on. He made it very clear that he has no intention of sharing me… especially since I promised to never leave him again. He really is a jealous and very sensitive man, he just doesn’t know that it shows and I’ll never tell.
He reaches up for a condom, asking with his eyes if I still want this… I don’t… I know this sounds totally high school but I want our first time raw to be on our wedding night. It’s just about the only thing I haven’t already given to him. He doesn’t even have to ask; he knows me so well and all my romantic fantasies. I hear him rip open the wrapper and moments later I feel him filling me completely. He’s kissing me passionately and tenderly as he waits for my body to adjust and accept him.
I’m utterly lost in the pleasure of the sensations pulsating through me as he thrusts and bucks in and out of me, each time increasing the rhythm and the angle as he hits his target like a sharp shooter. I’m so close as my personal hit man continues his assault on me, taking aim, finally reaching my bulls eye. We both cry out in intense pleasure as our bodies quiver and quake against one another.
He whispers to me that he’s never felt so connected to anyone before, and that he feels totally safe being held in my arms and questions why he thought he was so afraid of all this. I just lay there on top of him, with my head resting on his chest as our breathing comes under control. No words are necessary. We both know what we have and what we almost lost…
TBC…